Last night, as I was standing and attempting to take steps, I felt my body resisting me. I felt it in my legs. It was the first time that I consciously felt this feeling. I wanted my legs to take normal steps. They had a different plan. They wanted to turn in when I wanted them to turn out. It was a fight. Is resistance really futile? It didn’t feel that way. I feel that their will is stronger than mine at times and that STINKS!
It felt that way this morning as well. Sometimes, I fall asleep thinking I will wake up in the morning and my body will feel normal. It won’t hurt. It won’t resist when I want it to move a certain way. But then I wake up in the morning and things are the same. It was more pronounced this morning. My legs were painfully stiff this morning. Everything was more difficult this morning. No wonder I wake up at 3:45! EVERYTHING takes a bit longer when I feel this way. Mike told me my first day at Barwis that I would always have MS but getting me more mobile is the goal. This morning was not a cool morning to have MS.
I don’t want to give the impression that it is all “rainbows and butterflies” all the time because it is not. Who wants to focus on that though?! I don’t. There were 2 instances while Parker worked on me where my body felt completely normal. But then I moved; and it was gone. I had that feeling once so far at Barwis when Jesse was stretching me out. But that feeling too, was fleeting. I just have to take the day as it comes and deal with it accordingly. I hope it is a GOOD day at training today…