I stood for 103 seconds yesterday. Standing for 1 minute and 43 seconds may NOT sound like a lot; but it IS… to me. I started out on Monday (the first time I worked out after my “setback” got better) standing for 43 seconds and I increased today after walking on Wednesday for 20 yards. I really feel that I have turned a corner in my journey to walking. Jesse told me that yesterday. He said it’s just like with pro athletes. You build them up and then you have to break them down and then you’ll build them up again. I told him that I was glad it was him who broke me down the past two times. Jesse’s leaving Barwis for a better opportunity for himself (I’m HAPPY for him and wish him the BEST) so he won’t break me down again if I need it.
I worked with Phil yesterday as I did on Monday. My second try at standing, he flip-flopped his hands on my lap as I was sitting in my chair and told me that it was good luck and to stand up. I laughed and prayed while I was standing. I told Phil that I’m religious so I was praying as I was standing and because I need the utmost concentration as I am doing something SO difficult; I close my eyes. I stood for 43 seconds the first time and 30 a piece the last two times. After that, we did the normal hamstring leg curls and extensions.
I only have been thinking about how difficult something so easy as standing up is because I was thinking about my recent setback. In this recent setback, I had a huge bruise on the back of my right thigh and my right leg didn’t work. I couldn’t put weight on it. It felt like my thigh and my calf were dipped in acid water. They hurt, I was stretched out on my last “Walking Wednesday” because it was obvious I wasn’t getting steps off easily. My right leg was really tight and needed to be stretched out.
I got a great stretch which was needed (that caused the bruise). I showed a colleague at my school (the PE teacher). He said it was the muscle fibers tearing from the stretch and because they really haven’t been used in a while. It HAS to HURT if it’s to HEAL; I understood that but I really couldn’t walk. My right leg got really swollen and my Mom wrapped it in one of my Dad’s old compression wraps. That was on October 30, 2013. Since then, I have just had Jesse work my legs and ankles to get the swelling down and then I started doing squats in my wheelchair. Just standing up and down in my chair. Jesse knew that we had to wait out my leg being swollen and this huge bruise on my thigh. He told me today that I was finally getting the better of the setback. He fist bumped me and Phil had to put me in my car when we were done working.
It has been really hard work since I came here but as I said in my interview that Connor put on Facebook, I’ll do anything to walk. I am doing just that. It is extremely hard as Chris said to me yesterday, but completely worth it! Chris said that you would never become a doctor or a lawyer by just giving 50% so I have to give this my ALL. I am lucky that my Mom understands the principles that they use at Barwis and she has helped me through both of my rough times. I didn’t know how long the rough times were going to last; but I am happy that my last one is coming to an end. I didn’t cry this time. I just was REALLY frustrated! It’s frustrating not to be able to straighten your leg when you sleep and when you try to, the acid water burns more. It’s frustrating being confined to your house on the weekends. And it is frustrating needing help with things you have done by yourself for over 20 years. I am glad that this frustrating time is finally coming to an end. Everything worth having is HARD to get. I’m going to get it!!!