At this point, I still was working EXTREMELY hard but I didn’t really feel that I was reaping the benefits of ALL of this hard work! Even today, as I write this post, I STILL am NOT walking like I want to be. I work SO hard at “training” (that’s what I call it) that I have to be lifted up into my car from my wheelchair. My Mom referred to my “training” as “exercising” once. I had to correct her. I told her that it is NOT “exercise” like I’m in some jazzercise class with leg-warmers and a sweat band. I am “re-training” my muscles to work. I am working SO hard even though it may not seem that way to able-bodied people. My goal will be to lift my leg up six times. It feels like the HARDEST thing I could possibly do and I am extremely tired from doing it. I thought that once I walked that day in July – it would be smooth sailing from then on. I didn’t realize how hard I would have to work EVERY SINGLE DAY. But I am “grabbing my guts” and I’m doing it. I will continue to do it.
On August 6, 2013 Sean and I were leaving our house and a jogger saw us and stopped to congratulate me for the Facebook video. As she came closer, I recognized her. She was one of the coaches for my son’s track team and she goes to our church. On August 10, 2013 my son completed the Falcon 5k at his school/our church (he goes to Divine Child Elementary School) and 4 people stopped me to tell me that they had seen the video of me walking. I told them that I will be doing the 5k next year and we laughed. We all need goals. August 26, 2013 I had just finished my workout. I was extremely tired. There weren’t that many people working out at that time. I was talking with one of the guys working with me and a man came up to me and asked if I was the girl in the Facebook video. I smiled and answered yes. He went on to congratulate me and told me that it was inspiring to see. I regret that I was so tired; otherwise I would have talked to him further about it. But I just thanked him and we smiled and I got my things together to leave. It was a nice incentive for me to keep working. I inspired that man. I am going to keep it up. People were noticing what I was doing and they were encouraging me!
On September 7,2013, my son and I went to church. Afterward, I was transferring from my chair to my car. As I stood up, I felt “sturdy.” That is the word I use to describe it. I think that is how able-bodied people feel when they stand. I really can’t remember it, myself. My son was standing by me as I stood up. He knows that he kind of has to be my spotter in case I fall over, either to push my chair under me or shove me into the car or something like that. I stood and looked at him. “Look Sean, I’m standing!” He came closer to me and hugged me. My first “stand-up hug” in SO long!!! I don’t remember hugging anyone while I was standing. For my first “stand-up hug” to be with my son was EXTREMELY special for me!!! I texted Jesse to tell him all about it.
Sometime in early August during training, Jesse and I were talking as I finished a set of squats. He was explaining how I need to engage my core. (Something that I haven’t done in a VERY long time!) I asked if I will NOT look like the Jabba the Hutt forever. He thought for a minute and looked at me and said, “you’re gonna be Princess Leia.” I smiled at that statement. Rock on!!! I’ve looked like Jabba for SO long! Being in this chair (and having a child doesn’t help) my core has not been engaged. As I began training I found myself falling A LOT more. I was a bit concerned by this. My Mom asked Mike about it and he replied “babies fall down a lot when they are learning to walk. That is what she is doing.” That made complete sense! I told Jesse about falling down so much. He told me that every time I fall, I should do 15 crunches. These extra crunches will help me to engage my core better. He talked about doing things to engage my core while I am laying in bed. I thought about this and the next morning I did 100 crunches in my bed before I got up and ready for the day. I had been doing these everyday for about a week when I told Jesse about it. He asked, “why do 100 when you can do 150?” I agreed with that statement. The next morning, I did 200 crunches. I texted him: “So I says to myself, myself I says, self – why do 150 when you can do 200?” I have done 200 crunches every morning since that day. I add 25 the next morning for each time I fall. Now that I am back to work, I no longer sleep through my first alarm, I wake up at 3:45 every day to do my 200 crunches and then let myself fall back asleep until 4:30 when I have to get up and ready for school.
On September 12, 2013, both of my shoulders left my bed as I was doing my crunches. Before this I was going through the motions but I knew I really wasn’t getting the full effect. That day I felt it. It had been awhile since I started it but this day my abs felt the good “burn-ie” all morning at work.A colleague told me that I am sitting up straighter and I felt even better.
On September 16, 2013, I thought I was going to throw up. Parker had told me that there are tons of “puke buckets” at Barwis Methods but I hadn’t noticed them before. I had worked hard at my leg curls and leg extensions and I was getting my coat on and I look at Adam and tell him that I feel like I’m going to be sick. He smiled and said, “good.” I think I was a little taken aback by him smiling but then I remembered what Parker said, “they applaud you puking.” I then thought back to the beginning of coming here and there was an athlete sitting against a support column next to a black garbage bin. I thought it was a garbage bin; but feeling that I was going to get sick, I understood that that wasn’t JUST a garbage bin. It was a puke bucket. That athlete was puking! Adam explained that to make your body work SO hard that it has to release lactic acid built up in it is a good thing. He told me to just drink lots of water. It will pass. I told him that I would probably have to pull over on the freeway on my way home to get sick. He told me to “just do it.” But it did feel SO good to know that I worked so hard that I was going to be sick. I texted Mike and called Parker. This is hard work! I am going to continue to work hard! I hope I never really have to use one of those buckets though!
I was encouraged by all of these “little victories” that I was experiencing. I need to remember these experiences so they can tide me over until I am walking.