Category: Tunes

My Mom called me this morning to tell me that she woke up late. I heard Sean rustling around getting ready for school and asked him if he could get me out of bed. He agreed and then continued getting ready for school. My body spasmed and I let out a loud, involuntary grunt. He came to my room when he heard this and told me that it sounded like I had to get out of bed!

With Sean at school, my Mom finally showed up. She opened the door and walked in and once I turned around, she greeted me by saying, “Good Morning beautiful girl!” I immediately thought of this song:

My Mom has always called me, “Girl.” I remember I tried to change that once when I was about 30. She would always call me, “Little girl.” And I would respond with, “ I’m a woman.” That didn’t change the fact that she ALWAYS called me a little girl. I changed my strategy and I started to call her, “Lady.”

She told me one day, “Don’t call me lady, little girl!” I responded with, “Don’t call me little girl, lady!” and we both burst out laughing! I just understood that she will ALWAYS call me, “Little girl” because I AM her ONLY little girl.

It probably was about a five or six years ago when she was at my school to pick me up. I wasn’t driving even back then. The staff I had just had a meeting and I wasn’t completely ready to go. My Mom addressed me with the normal, “Little girl” and I didn’t think anything of it until both of the social workers at my school started to laugh hysterically!

I didn’t really think anything of it because that is what my Mom always calls me but they have only known me as an a teacher and an adult. It wasn’t until then that I kind of thought that it must sound funny!

She STILL does it and I’m pretty sure she will ALWAYS do it. It doesn’t matter that I am close to 40. I don’t argue with her anymore and don’t even really notice it. I’m not sure why she edit in the, “Beautiful” part today but I think it’s probably because she knows I’ve been having a rough time lately! Especially with the weather getting warmer now because I had just awakened so I don’t think, “beautiful” was NOY accurate in how you would describe me!

This evening, as Sean and I finished eating dinner, he took the plates and rinsed them off in the sink. I asked him for a sliver of my birthday cake. (We only have about half of it left to go!). I’m not sure why this song popped into my head but I began to sing it.

My cousinT, Shannon, introduced me to this play when I was in the high school and we listened to it often as we drove around. We saw it before I got pregnant with Sean at the Masonic Temple, I think? We were with my Mom and I know that she really didn’t like it very much. I loved it!

I’ve known all the words to this play for a long time but it has been a while since I sang any of them. It was a perfect time I guess because I sat in the kitchen as Sean cut me a sliver of my birthday cake and begin to sing it. I was just beginning to get into Kim‘s part when is Sean stopped cutting the cake and looked at me and told me to, “Quit being weird!” Then we both busted out laughing!

I told him that I was going to write a blog post about this because this song is REALLY in my head! As I searched for audio of the song that I was singing, I came across this one;

Sean was in his room when I called to him and asked if he remembered me singing this song to him which he did not. I sing it to him when he was really small! Probably well we were still living with my parents. OF COURSE, I CRIED!

Okay, so, for the last few days, my Mom and I have been listening to the theme song of Game of Thrones while we complete our morning routine. She likes it and I am so excited for the last episode tomorrow. Now, I don’t want to ruin the theme song for anyone by writing this but I want to let you know that it is completely, “Roont” (My Dad used to pronounce “Ruined” like that) for me and I will tell you why in this post.

On Apple Music, they do not have the 2 Cellos rendition of the theme song so we are listening to what sounds like this:

Listening to this song as it plays over and over as we complete our work, brings to mind the opening credits and this scene from, “The Battle of the Bastards” for me:

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Yesterday, as the theme song was playing over and over, my Mom said to me that, “It sounds like that one movie with the Indians, The Last of the Mohicans.” Well, that roont it for me! Now, I no longer see Jon Snow or horses riding toward me in slow motion. I see Daniel Day Lewis:

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More specifically, I see this part of The Last of the Mohicans and also the fact that the Indian who beckons Alice to come away from the edge reminds me of Jerry, my first physical therapist.

I told my Mom that I can’t NOT see Daniel Day Lewis and it is completely roont for me but she let me know that it’s not her fault that they sound similar and that it probably won’t be ruined tomorrow when I watch the final episode. Thinking about it, it probably won’t but that’s what’s in my head right now!

It is no secret that in the 18 years that I have been on this horrible journey, MS has taken MANY things from me! I don’t want to innumerate all of my losses now but rather; I want to prove that in spite of everything, (“Everything” includes my consistent, enduring, and excruciating, knee pain!) I still can find a way to amuse myself and to laugh. I did that the other day.

Because I am basically homebound now, I read a lot more and I watch a lot more TV. I have seen this commercial many, many times!:

Sean had just gotten home from school and was changing and putting his book bag away when this commercial came on. I have seen it so many times that I HAD TO sing-along! Pretty loudly! Now, when I was in high school, I sing often and I was in the school musical all four years. When Sean was in preschool, he actually told his friends at school that I was in a band eith my cousinT, Shannon.

I started singing less and less when I began teaching and as Sean got older. I started singing less maybe because of the work I put in to teaching but maybe it’s because my MS progressed. Your vocal cords are a muscle and I think the fact that I am seated all day long does not help either. Not training at Barwis Methods has greatly affected my core muscles so I can’t even sit up straight most of the time. You can’t sing if your diaphragm is compressed.

With Sean here in his bedroom, I still belted out with the singer all of the notes she hit! She sings pretty high pitched! She is a soprano. Even when I was in the height of my singing in high school, I was NOT a soprano. The other day, it really didn’t matter to me and I belted out that song regardless! Maybe I should ask Sean what he thought about it. But, he already knows that I am weird! He has thought that for a very long time!

The first time I saw a Maroon 5 in concert, ( I have seen them three times) I witnessed Adam Levine‘s insane musical talent! He completely shredded it m on the guitar and he rocked out on the drums! I always have liked people’s, “Drumming Faces” because the faces guys make when playing the drums is hot! I don’t know where this belief came from but I completely stand by it!

I am COMPLETELY in on the last season of Game of Thrones after binging the first seven seasons a couple years ago. This video showed up in my YouTube feed a few days ago:

My Mom is NOT a fan of Game of Thrones at all! She says that, “There is too much killing and all that other stuff…” Although she does not like the show, she did tell me that she thinks that the introductory song is beautiful! I texted her this video and she has since shared it with my brother and her hairdresser.

She has told me that she appreciates the cellists, “Music faces!“ Well, that’s where I get it from then! I too have that appreciation for passion expressed in people’s faces while playing an instrument; although, I just appreciated drummer‘s faces until seeing this video.

I don’t want to say that I am to sick to attend live concerts; but, reluctantly, I think I may be too sick to attend live concerts now. I will however, hold out for an intimate concert with U2 in Dublin though… I am just putting that out into the universe but I recall Adam Clayton’s face (he plays the bass) and I dug that too do you only time I saw them in concert.

My Mom told me about my Dad singing this song to her when they were newly married and I pulled it up in my Apple Music. We have been listening to it every day since Mother’s Day because I am trying to wrap my head around my Dad singing this song to my Mother. My brother, Steve, and my aunt Lissa corroborated her story and they also remembered my Dad singing it to her when they were young. Even though my brother and my aunt let me know that my Mom’s story was true, I had the hardest time envisioning it. I figured if I immersed myself in the song, and then it would be easier:

I am still having difficulty envisioning this! When you are young, your parents are just your parents and you don’t really think about them being in love. My parents were just my parents. I did, however, witness what I believe that love could be like when Sean was born and toward the end of my Dad’s life. Sean knew my dad, his, “Gandfodder” and his best friend. I have three distinct memories that show me how much they were still in love!

I’m not sure which memory comes first but I know they all happened when Sean was alive.

Sean and I came over one morning for breakfast and we always came in through their side door. Once the drawer was opened, my Dad would call to my son, “Where’s my baby?!“ as Sean ran to the living room where he was. I remember coming up those stairs and seeing my Mom making eggs. I remember her looking extremely happy, she told me that she got married last night! She recounted her dream of reliving all the events from her wedding day. I was she described everything, she looked wistful and she told me when she grabbed my Dad’s outstretched hand at the altar, everything was in color and then she woke up. I enjoyed watching her face but was sad that it ended so abruptly. She continued working at the stove and then looked at me and excited they said, “So then, I fell asleep and dreamed it again!

We both started laughing and that day they drink Orange juice from their wedding flutes and my mom kept referring to my dad as, “My husband” and my Dad called her, “My bride.” I really appreciate that I got to witness this!

My second memory is the one that I did not witness but my mom tells me the story finally. It was just after my Dad second heart surgery and he was intubated for eight days (had that tube down his throat) which was unbearable for him! My Mom told me about locking eyes with him in an attempt to calm him down. My Mom told me that they stared at each other for a very long time as my Dad began to calm down. A nurse came in to take his vitals and she recognized that she was interrupting some intimate moment between them so she looked at my Mom and told her that she would come back. I love hearing my Mom tell me about that!

My third and final memory that I hold dear is that one time, well Sean and I still lived with them, I walked into the living room to witness my parents sitting on the couch holding hands and watching TV! Actually, my Mom was watching TV and my Dad was just listening while holding my Mom’s hand. Retrospectively, I understand that my Dad’s vision had gotten pretty bad before he died but the fact that they would do something so sweet as hold hands while watching TV is the cutest thing EVER to me!

Even with these memories clear in my mind, I still can’t wrap my head around my Dad singing this song to my Mom. It’s nice for me to know that it’s true though…

Yesterday, after the dentist, and on our way to Logan‘s, my son had his phone plugged in and we were listening to music through his phone. Sean always says that he never realizes how inappropriate a song is until I am in the car with him. He constantly had to skip songs that were playing on his random shuffle. Then, we heard this song:

As I belted this song out, (and in front of Sean, I really don’t care how I sound now) I told Sean that this was my senior quote.

“Good friends we have, oh, good friends we’ve lost Along the way (hey). In this great future, You can’t forget your past So dry your tears I say“

I’ve told him before about me listening to Legend on loop in my car for a lot of months. I asked him if his school does that and he shrugged. I told him that if he does, he should use this quote because it’s great! I paused for a moment and then added, “But what do I know? I was just a dramatic teenage girl in high school back then.” Sean started to laugh!

Sean and I had dentist appointments today. We have always gotten our teeth cleaned at the same time to cut down on visits to the dentist office. That’s what we did today. Once he got me into the car after both of our teeth were clean, he asked me if I wanted to go eat at Logan’s.

He told me that he was going to pay. We sat in the parking lot once we got there and reminisced about Logan’s while he let his phone charge. Once we were finished, we went inside. They changed the menu again but it was more like it was when we first came here so many years ago.

As we waited for our food, we continued talking about when we used to come here all the time when he was younger. I told him it was usually once a month on payday, sometimes twice. There was a Tigers game on and we talked about when we came here during the Olympics about 11 years ago.

We laughed about all the memories that we had and today was my belated Mother’s Day because he worked yesterday. As we were eating our food, he made the observation that it was, “Just like the old days.” I smiled because it really was! Once we got into the car after leaving, I told him to turn my jam! He knew what I was talking about!:

As it began to play, I started shaking right shoulders to the music and he shook his head and half smiled. It’s another memory he can have of, “The old days.“