Category: Tunes

I have had MS for 19 years now. Over half of my life. I never liked when people in my various MS support groups would call themselves, “Warriors” and would tell all of us that we were,”Warriors” too. that is until it got real for me.

Damn right, I am a warrior! This is so difficult! I was asked once what hurts and I told them, “Just my nerves.” I paused a moment and let the person know that there are nerves in every inch of your body. Everything hurts. All of the time!

A woman in one of my MS groups shared this song and she said the lyrics spoke to her. Well, they speak to me too! When she posted it, she let everyone know that she was NOT suicidal but this song is real! I am NOT suicidal either and I know that I have too much to live for to do something like that but it’s enough to acknowledge just the fact that this is difficult and I need to acknowledge the feeling that to just, “Let go” Is really appealing at times.

My support groups come alive at night and I completely get that. I think it was a little after 1 AM when I shared this song on Facebook because I did not want to forget it. I listened to it two times last night and cried both times. I let my Mom hear it this morning when I was eating my eggs and I cried again.

My Mom didn’t like this song and I tried explaining it to her but she told me that neither my Dad nor my aunt Rita gave up, not even at the very end. I told my Mom that it is different because they both had. terminal illnesses. My aunt died of ovarian cancer and my Dad was a non-compliant diabetic for most of my life who had two open-heart surgeries and was on dialysis for 3 1/2 years.

I am just going to have MS for the rest of my life and have to and will have to continue dealing with whatever it decides to throw at me. Believe me, now, it’s throwing a lot at me! I tried to get my Mom to see this but she didn’t so I decided to just listen to this song when I am by myself. I will probably listen to it as I am trying to fall asleep at night but this is really difficult and having to be on high alert every second of the day is a lot. For me, this song was really good. I know I’m not going to do a thing deliberately but I needed to hear this song because sometimes…

I was very pleased with the outcome of Saturday’s football games for wildcard weekend this year. I was hopeful that the 1 o’clock game would end with my team winning and I hadn’t really decided who I wanted to win the second game. I was OK if it was either the Seahawks or the Eagles.

But then, the Saints lost. And really upset me! I told Larry Foote In the summer of 2013 that I was a post-season Packers fan. Sean and I both have Cheeseheads that we would only wear during the post-season. But I’m not so sure that I am a post-season Packers fan anymore. I am a post-season Saints fan. I guess that is fitting given that I am a regular season Lions fan so I understand disappointment.

Well, I am super disappointed now because the Saints are out of the playoffs again. It reminds me of working with the Adam at Barwis. this had to be six years ago but there was a man who played in the CFL and was looking to get into the NFL, that’s why he was working out at Barwis. Adam was stretching me on the white table and the man was sitting on the turf not too far away and stretching after his work out. Adam asked him which NFL team he would want to play and if he had the choice.

Adam is a big Eagles fan and back then he was a Rex Ryan fan so he wanted the guy to play for them. I can still remember seeing the guy sitting on the turf and choosing the New Orleans Saints. I wasn’t listening to their discussion about reasons to play for the Saints but once it was over, I remember saying and kind of singing, “Because their uniforms are SWEEET!!!” I remember it amusing both of them and they agreed that the Saints uniforms are sweet because they are!

As Sean and I watched the Seahawks versus the Eagles, Eve’s song played as they were coming back from commercial. Sean was laying on the couch behind me and I had my left hand up and was bopping my head to the music. That song used to be my jam! Third album came out during my senior year of high school.

As I moved my hand completely with the music, Sean told me,”That’s enough!” I started to laugh and just be for the game restarted, I told him Sandra bullocks line in Hope Floats. I told him, “Once upon a time, your mama knew what it meant to shine!”

i’m not sure who I will root for in the playoffs (If any) because I wanted the Saints to go all the way and win the Super Bowl. I don’t know which team I will join the bandwagon for just yet.