Category: Barwis Methods

I was a bit tired when I headed to Barwis.  My right hand had gone numb toward the end of work so Mr. Curl helped me gather my things and he got me into my car.  I had to battle construction on my way so I ended up being a little late once I arrived to Barwis.  Phil helped me get out of my car and he stretched my legs a bit at the chairs.  My legs felt SUPER tight and stretching me was difficult for both of us I think.  It didn’t feel so good on my part and my body was REALLY resisting the stretch for him.

He told me to go to the table after I did a few manual leg curls.  I knew it.  I wasn’t walking or standing today.  The stretch was difficult enough!  Once on the table, I laid on my back and my legs felt gnarled up.  Phil stretched and stretched me but my legs weren’t feeling any more relaxed.  He left my legs alone for a minute and asked me how I felt.  I told him that it hurt.  He replied, “Hurts so good.”  I told him that my Dad used to say that and that, “No, it hurts SO bad(ly) – (I hold an English degree so I SHOULD use adverbs correctly but I said “bad” instead of “badly” because it was opposed to “good” and not “goodly” but I digress…)

Phil started stretching me some more and eventually, my legs started to feel a little bit better.  It was only a little bit better but I have learned that a little bit is better than nothing.  “Little by little, a little becomes a lot” is SO true!!!  Waiting stinks so badly, but what else am I going to do?!  It seems that the longer I have MS, the more I am faced with being effected by outside forces.  I CAN’T handle being stressed out as well as I used to (not like I EVER handled it very well but…)  I think it interesting that I can’t (it’s now CAN’T and not DON’T) handle when I run late, or am faced with construction, or properly function in the heat.  And by “interesting” I mean “stinks!”  It’s frustrating but this is how it is now.

Phil took me out to my car and when I extended my fist, he just grabbed it, shook it, and yelled, “Joystick!”  He told me that I did a good job as he closed my door.  I thought about that as I drove away.  My legs DID feel a little bit better even though the stretch hurt SO badly.  Maybe I can sum up yesterday at Barwis as “It hurt so good” after all because the end result was better than it was: so it was “good.”  Hmmm?

Phil came out to get me from my car yesterday.  It was REALLY warm!  It was SO warm that it had officially graduated from just being warm to being HOT.   My Mom has told me that it is not ladylike to say “hot” but rather, I should say “warm.”  But yesterday, it was just ridiculous so it was HOT.  I get to the chairs where Phil was sitting and I emphatically say, “It’s HOT!!!”  Phil looks at me and says, “Thank you Weather Rock Rios.”  He stretched me at the chairs and told me that they just got a new stander and that I was going to try it out.  Periodically, I would make the statement that it was hot to which Phil would respond by calling me a weather rock.

Then we moved over to the plyo boxes for more stretching.  I remained sitting in my chair and  kept making the statement of it being hot.  Phil sat on the box and kept calling me a weather rock.  He looked at me and told me that I looked like I was drunk.  I told him that he doesn’t know what I look like when I’m drunk!  I don’t drink anymore.  My body can’t handle it.  Retrospectively, I realize that that comment was the beginning of my demise due to the heat.

Phil pushed me over to the new stander.  I asked him what it was called.  It’s also called the Easy Stand Evolv but it has a glider option so it looks different.  As he put me into the stander and strapped my feet in, my hands went numb.  He cranked the stander up and almost immediately, I knew that I liked the other one better.

He he cranked it up all the way and told me to use the handles to glide.  Yeah!  That WASNT happening!  I tried to push the handles and my feet moved the slightest bit.  Yeah. No!  I stood for three minutes and then rested.  My speech started to slur a bit.  I didn’t speak as much as I stood in the stander.  Phil went to get me a towel because I was way past “glistening” and was sweating profusely.  I stood 4 times for 3 minutes each time for a total of 12 minutes.  Dan came over and talked to me for a little and it was VERY obvious to me that my speech had worsened.  It sounded CRAZY in my head!!!  Phil took me out of the stander and put me into my chair.

 He wheeled me out to my car and put me in.  I put my fist out after he stowed my chair.  He just grabbed it, shook it, yelled, “Joystick!,” told me to watch some good football this weekend, and shut my door.  I had trouble turning the key in my ignition as he stowed my chair.  I blasted my air even higher when he shut my door.  I sat there and willed my hands to NOT be numb.  It didn’t work.  I was just going to have to wait this one out.  I drive with my hands so them being numb is NOT an option for me and driving.

After a bit, I was able to call my Mom and ask about my son.  I told her that I would be awhile because I needed to cool down before I drove.  She asked me how my time at Barwis was and I just replied, “It was hard” and began to cry.  I cried because I was frustrated, not because it was too difficult.  The temperature gauge on my dashboard read 93 degrees and had to sit in my car with my air blasting for 30 minutes before my hands felt normal enough to drive.  MS is a REALLY, REALLY mean disease and it only gets MORE frustrating as time goes by.

When I got into Barwis yesterday, Phil was working with another client when he told me to pull the table to right in front of the TV.  My appointment was moved to 7:00 and the Lions game was starting at 7:10.  I told him, “Okay, love knows no bounds!  Anything for Matty!”  I think Phil thought I was joking, but I started pushing the table over.  I pushed a little and it barely moved so I rethought my strategy.  I rolled around the table so I was in a position to pull the end of the table.

I pulled and that was a little bit easier.  Phil called over to me that I had 20 minutes and I responded, “Little by little, a little becomes a lot.”  I pulled the table about 10 yards on a diagonal when Phil came over and folded and picked the table up.  I followed him and was excited because they started showing footage of the players getting ready.

Before I even realized it, I saw Matthew Stafford and yelled out, “I LOVE YOU, MATTY!”  I only yell that at my TV when I am home watching the game.  My son tells me that I’m weird EVERY time I say it but I don’t care.  I’ve had a thing for #9 since he came to Detroit.  Most people make fun of me but I REALLY don’t care!

Phil put me on the table and began to stretch me out and we both could see the TV.  I told him that Matty was going to throw 2 TDs in the first quarter.  The first touchdown was Calvin Johnson running it in and I felt like I was at home because I threw my arms up and, “Woo-Hooed” at the top of my lungs.  I have talked about seeing a game at BDub’s often with Mr. Curl.  Sean and I ended up at BDub’s for a preseason game but it didn’t feel right.  I like my TV better!  I wasn’t comfortable to yell at the TV there though.

I was comfortable enough at Barwis!  I don’t know how many times I yelled my love for Stafford but it was a lot.  Phil said he would NEVER go to a game with me.  I think it would be different though.  For instance, I will NEVER call Stafford “Matty” to his face and I think I would be a little more low-key but you never know.  I told Phil that he was just jealous and told him that I will yell, “I love you, Phil!” the next time I come to Barwis.  He laughed.  I don’t think he believes that I will but I WILL because I’m comfortable there.

We really couldn’t see the TV that well based on how far from the TV we were.  Phil said that if I didn’t mind being stretched in my chair, we could go into the break room because there was a bigger TV in there.   Well, YEAH!!!  We went to the break room and Matty threw his touchdown pass to Johnson.  I yelled and threw my arms up!  I was SO excited!!!  We were up 14-0.  Phil kept telling me to relax my legs but I just couldn’t!

My time was up and Phil took me to my car.  I tried grabbing his fist but he grabbed my hand instead, shook it, and yelled, “Joystick!” I felt a bit looser and listened to the end of the second quarter on the way home.  The Lions won so for one brief, shining moment we are on top of both the Packers AND the Bears in the NFC North!

Lisa helped me transfer from my car to my chair.  Lisa is another woman who works out at Barwis and she was coming in as I was.  As I roll in, Phil is standing in the middle of the turf working with someone.  He asked me how I was and I look at him and yell, “I love you, Phil!” just like I do for Stafford as I watch Lions games.  He laughed.  I TOLD him that I was going to do it.  I yelled this 9 times periodically throughout my workout.

After he stretched me for a bit in my chair we went over to the Keiser machine.  He stretched me some more and brought over the PURPLE half popcorn ball thing.  I was a bit surprised and excited.  I was standing today!  He set my feet and placed the half popcorn ball thing.   I tried to stand to no avail.  It was okay because first is ALWAYS the worst!  The second wasn’t the best but I thought that 3 HAD to be the charm.  IT WAS!  I stood up tall and held it with Phil encouraging me all the while.  Phil looked pleased.   I tried 5 times but only could get all the way up the 3rd and 5th time.  I wasn’t discouraged.  “Little by little…” After I was tired from the attempts at standing we went over to the table.  Phil had me lay on my back and he stretched me.  It hurt SO badly but it gradually got easier.  During the hurting part, Dan came over and started talking/making fun of me about Stafford.  My reply was the sane that it always is:  “I love him.”  When my time was up, Phil put me back in my chair.

I rolled out to my car too tired to exclaim my love for Phil.  I told him earlier when I hit 9 times of yelling it that I thought that I told him more than I told Stafford on Monday Night Football.  He put me into my car and stowed my chair.  I don’t know that we were going to fit bump but did a weird hand-grasp thing.  Phil said, “That was weird!”  He shut my door and I sat there for a short time.  I was tired and wanted to have a better showing but…  It’s nice that I have so much fun when I am at Barwis and that I am comfortable enough to grunt and groan and proclaim my love for Matthew Stafford… and for Phil too!

I pulled up to Barwis and Deeds helped me get in.  The weather had finally broken and it wasn’t so warm but instead was on the verge of being REALLY cold.  For now, it was tolerable sweatshirt weather.  Phil took me a little early because I arrived early (my appointment wasn’t until 6).  My legs were EXTREMELY stiff and Phil stretched me extensively at the chairs.

After awhile, he told me to go over to the boxes.  He changed out the height of the middle one so it was a little bit higher than the seat of my wheelchair.  He helped me to stand and after a moment, he picked me up and put me on the box.  My legs stuck straight out in front of me because my legs were SO tight while I sat on the box.  Phil talked me though to get my legs relaxed.  They FINALLY did.  I had sat on the boxes so many times as of late, I asked, “What are we doing?”

He pushed my shoulders down in response so I was bent over at the waist with my head shoulders hung down a bit.  He held my shoulders down for a little, let go, and told me to sit up.  I was able to almost with ease.  He told me that these were, “low back hypers.”  We were going to do a set of 10.  On the 3rd time, I was FINALLY able to get into first position before extending my arms to the side.  Phil rolled his eyes.  It got a little more difficult at 6 or 7.  I figured out that if I balled my fists up, it was easier to do.  So I did that every time.  I did 4 sets of 10.  My lower back kind of burned but it felt good.

Phil pushed me out to my car and I asked him what he thought of my showing.  He told me that it was good.  REALLY good.  He then added that it was impressive.  SCORE!  It’s about time!  It has been SO long since I have felt proud of my showing and my work at Barwis.  I got into my car mostly by myself.  Phil got my legs in and stowed my chair.  We had our fists out but instead hand-clasped again.  Phil told me to stop trying to hold his hand as he shut the door.

I was again tired as I drove home but it was a really good tired.  My body was relaxed and surged with warmth.  I truly felt that maybe I was on the upswing again now that the heat maybe had subsided a bit before the extreme cold set in.  We’ll see…

Yesterday, I was able to transfer from my car to my chair by myself.  I was tired.  I moved my time from 5 to 7 on Mondays because I have my “Move It Monday workouts” for staff and students at my school because I am a “Move It Monday” Ambassador.  My legs felt REALLY tight as Phil stretched me at the Keiser machine.  He told me to go over to the table.

He helped me on to the table and I laid on my back.  He stretched my legs and it hurt SO badly!!!  I asked him, “Why?”  He looked at me and asked for clarification.  “Why are you SO tight?”  I nodded and he responded.  “Weather, stress…” and kind of trailed off dismissively.  Then he added, “those things are quite bothersome.”  I laughed because I was reminded of my Dad.  He used to say “lonesome” instead of “alone.”  Phil continued stretching me and it continued to hurt.  VERY SLOWLY my legs started to relax.  He had me sit up with my legs dangling over the side of the table while he stepped away for a minute.  I willed myself to relax my legs and they were dangling when he came back.  He sat in my wheelchair and kicked my feet a bit.  They remained relaxed.  I asked him if my legs were less bothersome and he smiled and nodded a little.  He helped me into my chair and out to my car.

Once outside, I got in BY MYSELF!  Mostly.  Phil got my legs in and stowed my chair.  He put his fist out and when I put my fist out in answer, he just grabbed my fist, shook it, yelled, “Joystick!” and started to shut my door.  Before my door was shut, I yelled, “Oh, Come On!  I just want a fist bump!”  He laughed and shut my door.  I drove home with my legs feeling better than when I came to Barwis and that is STILL progress.  Slower than I would like, but progress just the same.

I was tired again when I got to Barwis.  Half the staff at my work has called in sick this week.  I just felt sleepy and a little sneezy but I hoped that would be the extent of my illness for now.  Phil stretched me at the Keiser machine.  My legs were tight but not as tight as they were on Monday.  I attempted to stand.  6 times.  “Attempted” is the key word here because I was unable to stand up fully.  On my 4th or 5th time, I asked Phil how it felt.  He looked at me and said, “Like you are trying to stand but don’t.  How does it feel for you?!” jokingly with a smile.  Touche.  I looked at him and said, “Like I’m trying to stand but don’t.”  He told me to go over to the boxes.

Well, boxes were better than the table!  There was a boy at one of the tables.  His name was Garrett (I think).  I asked.  He currently was in a wheelchair.  Phil put me on the end box and I wondered what we were going to do.  My legs refused to relax and were sticking straight out.  Phil told me to relax them and I tried but as they weren’t relaxing very readily, while I waited, I watched Garrett.  He was working with Megan and she had him crawling.  He crawled 10 or 15 yards.  My legs still weren’t relaxed.  Then Megan had him stand with Megan on one side and his mom on the other.  He was head and shoulders taller than both of them.  I kept watching him as my legs relaxed and Phil had me do some leg extensions.  I asked longingly when I would walk again while still watching Garrett and Phil replied, “I’m not a fortune-teller.”  Then he pulled my shoulders down until I was bent over.  He instructed me to sit up and it was EXTREMELY difficult.  I was able to get into first position for ballet before I extended my arms the second time Phil pulled my shoulders down and Phil rolled his eyes AGAIN!  On my 5th attempt to sit up, Phil had to push on my clavicle so I could get all the way up.  I was able to get up 7 times and was disappointed that I didn’t do 10.  Phil put me in my chair and reminded me that I did a lot of leg extensions.

He pushed me out to my car and I was too tired to attempt to get in by myself.  I raised my arms for Phil to pick me up.  He begrudgingly obliged and grabbed my fist and shook it when I extended it out to him.  He didn’t yell joystick but instead just said it.  I was persistent and tried again when he let it go.  This time he fist bumped me – a good one and closed my door.  I was SO tired but eventually…  Right?

I was late to Barwis yesterday.  Like almost 20 minutes.  Phil met me by the roll down door  in front of my parking space. Yeah.  I have one of those even though Jerome tries to cramp my style sometimes and doesn’t leave me a lot of room!  But seriously, I DON’T have one of those but I park there almost every time I come to Barwis so that has been a lot since I’ve started parking in the back.  I was having difficulty getting out of my car so Phil got my chair down and pulled me out of my car.

He started stretching me at the plyo boxes.  He sat on the low box and I remained in my chair. My legs were EXTREMELY tight and the stretch was difficult!  My mojo was all off because I was running so late so I asked Phil if he had a piece of gum because I didn’t change pieces when I got there as I always do.  I am a chain gum-chewer.  I chew the blue 5 gum.  I chew it because Phil chews it and gave me a piece a while back and I REALLY dug the taste!!!  I constantly chew gum because the vitamins that I take daily leave a bad taste in my mouth.

Phil left to get me a piece of gum from his office and shortly after, we went over to the white table. I sat on the table with my legs dangling over the side and Phil sat in my chair.  He told me to relax my legs and kicked my feet a bit.  We did some manual leg curls and then my time was up.

Phil pushed me out to my car and told me to get into my car by myself.  He tells me that EVERY day!  I was tired but decided that I was going to show him.  I got up to my feet using the driver’s side door to brace myself. But, that was it.  Phil pushed my hip so I was able to turn and sit almost in the driver’s seat.  I looked at him triumphantly with a smile and he responded straight-faced, “Good that I gave you a f***ing shove.”  I busted out laughing and he laughed too.  I told him that I was going to name my blog post “F***ing Shove.”  He stowed my chair  and my legs had stiffened and I needed help getting them into the car.  He leaned over and grabbed my right leg and said, “Bend-bend-bend-bend-bend-bend-bend.”  I haven’t figured if it’s like he is calling a pig or encouraging a baby to do something.  Either way, it makes me laugh!  He repeated himself a few times for each leg until they obeyed.  He gave me a good fist bump when I put my fist out and shut my door.  I drove home tired and thought about they day when I walk again.  It WILL happen but waiting is DIFFICULT!

My legs felt REALLY tight ALL day at work and I was awakened the previous night because my legs hurt so badly.  I spent my time at Barwis being stretched with Phil sitting on the white table and me in my chair.  It was uncomfortable for me so I asked Phil why we weren’t at the low plyo box as I looked over to them.  He told me that there was no low plyo box so I told him to break down the bigger ones.  He objected to it so I stayed in my chair.  I little while later, Phil let go of my legs, pushed them down,  and exclaimed, “Alright, Princess!  Go over to the boxes!”  I laughed and wheeled over to the boxes as Phil broke down the end box to make it lower.  I continued laughing and then let him know that, “I am NOT a Princess” he interrupted me to tell me that I WAS but I clarified by ending with, “I am a QUEEN!”  It was his turn to laugh but I think we were laughing for different reasons.

We stayed at the boxes for the rest of my time and my legs relaxed just a bit before Phil put me in my car.  I put my fist out to fist bump him and he grabbed it and shook it and said the customary, “Joystick!”  I tried grabbing his fist but his hands are SO big compared to mine that he just shook my hand off and said, “I win!” as he shut my door.  I drove home with my legs feeling a little bit better.

I awoke at 1:57 to excruciating pain AGAIN this morning!  My legs were  SO badly!  It hurt when I bent them and equally as much as I straightened them out.  As I tried to find a comfortable position, I thought about the last time I was awakened with this much pain.  Looks like the winter is starting to set in at night.  THAT STINKS!  I knew it was going to come and that isn’t anything new.  I can’t say that I’m surprised.  My legs have relaxed a little but I am EXHAUSTED!!!  Looks like walking has hit the pause button AGAIN and I am gearing up to wait it out.  I will still work my HARDEST while I wait but princesses really don’t like to wait… Maybe I really AM one…

 

On Monday, I decided that Phil’s “Bend”s are like he is trying to convince a baby to do something.  After he put me in my car, he was bending my legs to get them in and he said a variation of his bend-bend-bend-bend-bend -bend-bend and ended with 2 “Bend It”s.  Makes me laugh!!!