So, today after I brushed my teeth in the late morning because it takes time for my body to chill out. I saw this, actually I knew it was coming but this morning it has come:
My cousinT, Shannon, brought me this pack of floss picks because when this shut down happened and everyone was sheltered in place, everything was getting hoarded, these particular floss picks were NOWHERE to be found and that really bummed me out!
Dental hygiene is very important to me and now And I am immunocompromised, it is imperative that I keep my teeth end it gums in good health!
I didn’t really floss growing up but my cleaning just after my 30th birthday let me know that flossing needed to be a daily thing, twice a day. So I have been flossing my teeth twice a day since I was 30. Now that my hand strength is so compromised, these specific floss picks work well for me and I like the taste! So this late morning, I used the last of my gift from my cousinT.
it’s a really good thing that my brother, Jimmy, was able to find and bring these over to me:
SCORE!!! Looks like I will be set for a while and my gums will continue to be happy and healthy!
This evening, my brother, Steve, and his girlfriend brought over dinner for my Mom and me for Mother’s Day. I appreciated that I got in on her Mother’s Day present from him because she’s staying at my house! so, before we chowed down on our Antonio’s, my Mom brought the food into the house and wiped it all down and cut my food up for me because it’s like that now.
As my Mom was in the kitchen, preparing our food, Leia put her front paws on the shelf by the door! She was dangerously close to grabbing tissue out of the box that was there. It was just her and me in the living room and then, “My teacher voice” came out! It startled me because I have an use their voice for almost 4 years. But when Leia got up onto the shelf, it just came out! I think I said something like, “Hey! Get down!”
Of course, she got down because she’s a really good girl! But hearing my own voice definitely startled me! They came out so naturally in the moment but my speech has been a problem for sometime now.
It was kind of nice to hear how my voice sounded so many years ago though. Many of my former colleagues and friends are still teaching and my heart goes out to them for all of the hard work they are currently doing! I don’t think I could do it! But it was nice to hear that when it comes down to it, I still got it! I don’t know how long I will still have it but it got Leia down!
My first tears of the, “Stay-at-home” orders were warranted, I think. It was too warm in my house and my air conditioner was not set up in my room so I couldn’t handle the heat. Think that was the primary cause of my tears.
However, I cried yesterday as well even though Sean ordered B dubs for us for Mother’s Day which was absolutely delicious! I was even able to have leftovers for lunch today. But I had an uncomfortable feeling gnawing at me and I couldn’t understand it.
I saw this video on my YouTube feed today:
I shared it on Facebook and I think that my hair will look similar to this (even though I am NOT a redhead like I have always wanted) when all of this is over. I have no idea when all of this will be over and it will be safe for me to leave my house!
I actually think that my tears were because I’ve said before that not much in my life has changed with the, “Stay-at-home” orders. The rising death toll in the United States scares me so I don’t plan on leaving my house anytime soon but one thing that is really making it difficult for me is my overgrown hair and my one eyebrow.
It’s gotten like that now and I think that depresses me. I have always made sure that my eyebrows were well-groomed and even on a fixed income, I still managed to make that happen. But now, I have not gotten my haircut nor my eyebrows done since the middle of February. I think I will say that that is what has made me cry so I don’t have to think about all of the horribleness going on around me!
So, late this morning, just before my Mon and I started a routine, she asked me if we were washing my hair today. I used to wash my hair every single day when I could but now I have to settle for getting it washed every other day because it’s a lot of work and I can’t do it by myself anymore. When I let my Mom know that we are washing my hair today, she grabbed a towel from off of the dryer in my room. She came out of my room with the towel and called to me, “Come on, girl!”
When she told me this, I started adjusting my wheelchair that was in a reclined position to get it to be able to move. I had just finished adjusting it and was about to move when, just as sweet as you please, Leia jumped up from her bed in the living room and ran to my Mom and sat in front of her in the bathroom doorway. I started to laugh and looked earlier and told her that, “She’s not talking to you! She’s talking to me!”
My Mom reached down and petted her head and laughed. My Mom has been calling me, “Girl” for as long as I can remember and I know I have written about that fact here on my blog before. Well, both Sean and my Nom call Leia some variation of girl. Usually it’s, “Pretty Girl.” I told Leia to move aside because I need to get my hair washed. I’ve never had competition before being the only girl in my family but I guess I do now!
I bought Sean and me mugs to make hot chocolate one Christmas, I think he was 11 or 12. Now, these mugs are EXCELLENT! I got them from signyourname.net and I purchased hot chocolate packets for him and me. I had dark chocolate and he had milk chocolate. It worked out well because his mug has his name on it and my mug has my name on it. They were mugs for my family!
And:
The mugs worked out for me as my hand strength worsened and now I only drink any beverage out of mugs. It’s easiest if I hold the mug with two hands. I think it was just before Mother’s Day when my Mom told me that Sean and I have our own mugs but she doesn’t have one. She has been staying with me since March 14th and when she said that to me, I HAD to order her a mug immediately! Sean likes his mug for coffee and my Mom would use mine to drink out of because I still don’t drink coffee. Her mug arrived yesterday. It says, “Abuela” because that is Spanish for, “Grandmother” what does what Sean calls her.
Now, both of, “My 2 Sacreds” have mugs and I finally I have a complete set!
And this fact makes me happy! It’s all about the #SimplePleasures man!!!
Yesterday, my brother, Dave, FaceTimed to my Mom as I was getting situated in the bathroom to get my hair washed. My Mom talked with him and somehow, Dave asked me if I remembered how I was made. I burst out laughing uncontrollably and my Mom had no idea what both of us were laughing about.
Because I no longer can control my emotions, I kept laughing uncontrollably which forced my brother to explain the cruel joke he and my brother, Jimmy, used to torment me with. My Mom was completely aghast at what my brother told her as a continued to laugh! Before my Mom started to wash my hair and just as my brother was hanging up with her, my laughter continued and he told her to ask Jimmy about it. He knows!
So, this morning, Jimmy brought over milk to my house. I was still trying to wake my body up and I told her to ask Jimmy about Dave and I laughed about yesterday. He practically said what my brother, Dave, said to her verbatim. I laughed and my Mom asked how that started. Jimmy couldn’t remember either but I came to the door and we both continued to laugh.
He commented that my, “Rios eyebrows” we’re coming in nicely and that my eyebrows look like his eyebrows. He was completely correct in saying that! But when we laughed about the joke they used to play on me, it was really fun to see the laughter on his face just like it was fun to see the laughter on Dave’s face yesterday. As Jimmy laughed this morning, he looked at me and shook his head that he is 41 years old and we are still laughing about it! Dave laughtrr about it just as equally and he is 40. I am 38 and I found it hilarious! I can think that now that I am 38 but when I was five, it wasn’t so funny!
I’ve written before about the fact that I cut my hair short on my 26th birthday. It had been down to my waist all of my grade and high school years.
I cut it at the end of my senior year and then let it grow out to just past my shoulders.
On my 26th birthday, I cut it all off! I haven’t had hair on my neck since then.
I have kept my hair this short for the last 12 years. That is, until now. It’s not like I want to grow my hair out but I haven’t had a haircut since the middle of February. I am kind of slow today after coming off of two days of rain but as I blow dried my hair in its normal, “Three act play” format end it got me thinking. My hair is really long by my standards right now and it made me think of Atreyu from The Neverending Story. more specifically, his hair:
I thought about it during both intermissions is a dried my hair. I asked my Mom to take a picture of my hair and she did:
It’s exactly like I thought as I ran my right hand through my hair as my left hand held the blow dryer. I look like Atreyu!
Okay, so I wrote a little while ago about Leia being called and answering to, “Little girl.” She’s really cute about it and anytime my Mom calls me, “Little girl,” (Which is often), she is right there, wagging her tail and then sitting down and waiting for my Mom to tell her what to do. My Mom calls her, “Little girl” and Sean calls her, “Pretty girl.”
I am a 38-year-old woman. I’m totally okay with my Mom calling the dog, “Little girl.” I have no problem sharing the title and it makes me laugh to watch her react to me being called, “Girl” because she thinks that my Mom is talking to her. Last night, when my Mom was getting ready to help me into bed, she called me, “Gorl” and head to add, “Not you” directed to Leia because she was talking to me.
I think that mixup is funny but yesterday morning, I had to share my titles and I don’t think it was so funny. I need to explain a little background before I explain what happened yesterday morning.
Background that any of my brothers can attest to:
Whenever my Dad was directing my brothers to complete some tasks, (Yard work or something) he would give them jobs to do and I would ask him what I could do because I want to do a help as well. His answer was the same every single time, he told me to just, “Sit there and look pretty.” My brothers still make jokes about that, even to this day!
So yesterday morning, my Mom took Leia out and gave her breakfast. She was in the doorway of my room and said, “You just sit there and look pretty, girl.” I was still laying in bed waiting for her help to get out and into my wheelchair. I remember about seven years ago I explainEd what my Dad used to say to my colleagues. I told them about what my Dad used to tell me and what I was going to do at parent teacher conferences because I did not have a classroom or students like that.
I remember my colleagues being amused at what my Dad used to say to me but that memory is very dear to me and when my Mom said it yesterday morning, I just answered, “I will!” because I assumed she was talking to me. Well, turns out, she was NOT. She was talking to the dog!
I am not going to lie that I felt a little bit bruised for a while realizing that I had to share my title I have never had to share that title! I think it’s crazy that I am 38 years old and now, I finally have to! It was it is startling realization I came to yesterday morning but I have come to that realization. I will willingly share my turtles with the dog!
Because she is so cute, I shared this video on Facebook a little while ago and I absolutely love it!
Sean took this video out in the yard and I have watched it over and over again. I can’t believe that I am, “A Dog Person” now but I am accepting it and I will share my titles with her because she is so darn cute and she is part of my family now!
Late this morning, as I was trying to get my body to wake up, I scrolled through my YouTube feed and found this song:
The only time I really heard this song was in the movie Acrooss the Universe so I kind of enjoyed watching this clip and seeing and hearing the Beatles so young! My cousinT, Shannon, is a huge Beatles fan and it also made me think of her!
I texted her Tuesday night because my Mom wanted to watch Mr. Holland’s Opus. I had seen the movie before, a long time ago, so it was vaguely familiar. Toward the end of the movie, when the high school is putting on a review as their senior play, it got me thinking about when I performed in a review for my school play during my senior year.
I asked Shannon about that because we both painted a bunch of stools black for the play. We did this at night and it took us a few times because there were a lot of stores to be painted! She sent me this picture in response to my text:
I laughed at this picture and knew that she remembered! So after I shared that Beatles video on Facebook, I realized it was Thursday! So I had to post this picture as my #TBT!
As my Mom washed my hair today, she suggested that we call Shannon. I was completely down do you that! My mom and I both had great conversation with her. She clarified that this picture was taken after the performance and we took it because we were so proud of the paint job we had performed on so many of the stools!
We laughed and talked until it was time for me to blow dry my hair. She even knew that in order for me to blow dry it, it’s, “A three act play!” I have smiled since talking with her and I think that is why my Mom suggested that we talk to her on the phone. I was feeling a little bummed out today and my cousinT, Shannon, was the perfect boost for me!
So, I have needed to use do you use medical supplies for the past 19 years. Once I got my first and only, “Big Girl” job, my health insurance paid for it. Once I stopped working, I had full Medicaid benefits. Then, they stopped. I have only recently learned that my full Medicaid benefits stopped once my son turned 18. My Mom and I have been on the phone for hours and hours trying to figure this out to enable me to receive my needed medical supplies. My Mom has been serving as my proxy since we have been sheltered in place at my house.
I needed her to be my proxy especially today because it was raining and I was miserable! Because we leave my front door open for Leia to see out of, I was reminded of my final day working because I heard the water on the car tires swishing as they drove by. I remember that sound as my Mom drove me to what would be my final day working. I didn’t know that it was my final day working but I knew that my knee was in excruciating pain and I could not handle it! As my Mom turned the corner from my house, I began to cry.
I have dealt with the pain of having MS and being in the rain but with my torn meniscus not surgically repaired yet. it was too much! I silently let my tears stream down my face until I got closer to my work. I was going to have to, “Grab my guts” and just deal with it in front of my students. Well, how I felt that day is how I felt this morning as well.
Thank God that my Mom was speaking for me as we were transferred from extension to extension trying to get the proper person. We were on the phone for close to two hours and it did a number on me! I had no idea what a, “Spend down” was until today but, it’s NOT good!
I will have to pay for my daily needed medical supplies until my deductible is met. It will be many months until I do that and that stressed me out! So much so, I drank my breakfast today. But I say that I drank my breakfast, I mean that I had a protein shake; NOT that I got drunk! Drinking a protein shake is a lot easier for me then chewing when I feel so badly!
After we completed our routine today, The rain continued and I very much felt it in my body! I drank my lunch today as well. I feel just awful today! I scrolled through Facebook for a short time and saw this picture shared by my friend and fellow MS Warrior:
Today is the day I COMPLETELY feel like this! It didn’t help much that after all of the phone calls, I still needed to pay a lot of money considering being on disability, I only get a little bit of money each month, for sure! I think the rain just compounded my frustration but it can‘t rain every day and I am taking advice from Milli Vanilli right about now to get me through:
