Category: A Bit Of Randomness

Today, I decided to watch It’s a Wonderful Life on TV. It was just as I thought it would be, actually how I KNEW it would be!!!

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I BAWLED MY EYES OUT!!!

FROM BEGINNING TO END!!!

I started crying when Janie and Zu Zu were praying for George. I also had tears streaming down my face when George is holding Zu Zu and she reads the letter in the book from Clarence!

I have watched It’s a Wonderful Life for the ONLY time I will watch it this Christmas and I cried my eyes out, but I knew [That I would]!!! I still LOVE it and I know ALL of the words!!!

I have felt absolutely drained all day long !!! I thought it would wear off and I would eventually have more energy but that did not happen today. After watching Love Actually, my Mom and I watched The Holiday. Those are two holiday movies that I love and that helps because I am so drained today! I think it may have been from It’s a Wonderful Life yesterday because I cried the whole time! That’s why I am drained! I just figured that out right now!!!

I had a virtual appointment today with my speech pathologist. She told me that I was doing an excellent job! I told her that I have internalized all of the tips she has given me to be sure that I am speaking clearly.

We talked about football and the fact that I am NOT watching it this season because I am having difficulty with my eyes right now. I think that’s horrible and I told her about Matthew Stafford‘s injury. She told me that it is because of me that she knows anything about football and she reminded me about talking about it last year after the Rams won the Super Bowl.

I then told her what I had just realized earlier today. In exactly 2 weeks from today, I will have been diagnosed with MS for 22 years! She asked me how I felt about that and I told her it was crazy! I told her about it being a big deal when I had MS for half of my life but right now it is four years MORE than half of my life so…

Today is somewhat of a difficult MS-y day but I wanted to talk about new nerve pain that I am experiencing. I am 13 days away from 22 years so of course I would feel some new pains! I first felt this pain on Wednesday and my Mom witnessed me feeling the pain for the first time in real time!

I think she was coming out of putting a load of laundry on and she saw me put my right hand on my lip on my right side. I pressed them hard because my gums and my right front tooth I felt a sharp pain!

I thought it would be a one off experience but last night, (well, really early did this morning) The pain came back full force and with a vengeance! I figured out that if I pressed my tongue against the back of my teeth and press my fingers on my lips it helps so I did that for a while until I fell asleep. Now, I will just wait for that pain to come again. Joy!

I think that people randomly read my Facebook posts because look what I received yesterday:

Carlos saw my posts!!!

Deb and Marra, I just watched the Diane Sawyer interview 20 years later with the Love Actually actors on Hulu and I really liked it! I liked the fact than Harry and Mia are just a flirtation. The director‘s wife cleared that up in 2015. It’s a good thing I did not see the movie until 2019!

I told my Mom a couple of days ago that Karen crying is so ABSOLUTELY heart wrenching!!! I told my Mom that Emma had to be thinking about something sad because those tears look so real! And then I saw this video:

Karen’s tears always make me stop in my tracks! Even though I have seen the movies so many times by now!

I have had this memory in my head for a number of years but it seems fitting to speak about it right now.

I think this had to be my second or third year teaching and I was hitting the Atkins diet hard and I don’t drink coffee. It was the Monday after daylight savings and I was sitting at my desk talking to another teacher drinking my Cherry Coke Zero at about 7:00 in the morning.

The building manager was walking around to the classrooms to change the clock before school started on Monday. He was the type of guy to speak his mind no matter what the situation was or how it made the other person feel. So, he walked into my classroom and saw me drinking my pop and he said, “Drinking pop is going to give you arthritis!“

I was mid-drink when he said that and once I swallowed and put my pop down, I looked at him and said, “I already got one disease, not getting another.”

I figured I should write this before the holidays come but I thought about that back in October. I am 40 years old now and a ‘rule follower.’ I scheduled my very first mammogram in October because it was during Breast Cancer Awareness month! Seemed fitting to me!

I had my very first mammogram in October and WOW!!! I cried and was told I would get results in a couple of days. The results came back, “inconclusive.” It was necessary for me to schedule a repeat scan.

Because I am a ‘rule follower’ and a scheduler, I did that immediately but in my mind, I was thinking about that day when I told the building manager that I’m not getting another.

We figured out that my Mom needed to accompany me into the room to get my scan and I need to be in my manual wheelchair to get that done. Once we were finished with the scan, Aimee (The nurse running the machine) told us she was going to check with the doctor and come back to tell us what to do.

It was at that moment when my Mom realized that this was pretty serious and something I had been thinking about since October. We said a few prayers together and Amiee give us the all clear.

I didn’t realize until we were driving home that I was being dismissive because I didn’t want to think about it but I’m glad that I don’t need to right now. There’s so much other stuff going on right now in dealing with the first disease I have…

I have finally remembered to do it today but I just changed the year and the opening line of my blog! It’s not even midnight yet so it’s still my anniversary… 😒😒😒…