Author: Jen Rios

This morning, I thought of Mr. Bill.  Mr. Bill was my swim coach.  I used to swim competitively in the summers until I was 13.  Mr. Bill coaches swimming at the high school that is across the street from my house.  My nephew swims for another Dearborn high school so my brother often sees Mr. Bill at swim meets.  I think about him often; he was very influential in my young, formative years (I was like 5 when I learned to swim).  I learned to swim from the Barracudas (the swim club’s name).  It was the end of the season (so it was fall) and he approached me and my Mom.   I was 9.  He wanted me to get involved with a year-round swim club in Dearborn.  He had said that he talked about me to the coach of the year-round club and they had arranged a try-out for me.  It was in the evening in an outdoor pool in Dearborn.  I didn’t end up joining the club.  I was the youngest of 5 (all of my brothers were still in the house then) and my Mom was a homemaker; it didn’t workout for my family financially.

I thought about Mr. Bill this morning because at the try-out, I had my own lane.  It was an end lane.  Regular practice was going on and I would just swim what this coach told me to swim.  I was in the pool and couldn’t hear this (my Mom told me about it afterward) but Mr. Bill was at the try-out too.  I don’t remember what the coach had me swim but Mr. Bill said to my Mother as I was swimming, “Look at her.  She’d swim all day if I told her to.  She’s got endurance.”  It’s 14 years later and I still remember that he said this about me.  I thought about him saying this after what happened yesterday at Barwis.

So before Phil stretched me out, I repaid the stick of gum that I borrowed from him because I found my pack.  I was tired and I thought that the” reset button” may take a bit to warm up.  Phil stretched me out and told me to stand.  First WAS the worst this time but I got up on my second try.  I even did 5 squats ALL ending with a NICE *BINK.*  He smiled and told me to head over to the turf.  I told him that I was excited as I spun around and rolled down the ramp (hands up with a “Woo!” OF COURSE!)

I get set at the line and Lindsay comes over.  Let’s do this thing!  1st down = nothing.  2nd down = nothing.  Phil stretched me some more before my 3rd down which STILL ended up giving me nothing.  Before my 4th down, Phil said that he might give me another down.  I shook my head and pointed over to the free weights.  “The punting team is already coming out.  The kicker has been warming up.”  I didn’t get anything for my 4th down either.  Phil told me to head back to the bar.  Phil could tell that i was BEYOND disappointed but I ended up completing 2 more stands.  He put his fist out and we bumped and then he started rubbing his fist against mine and said, “grinder!”  I laughed and wondered how many cheesy things he can come up with for fist bumps.

Phil took me out to my car with Nick to show Nick how to do it when Phil has a client and I am TOO tired to do it alone.  I ALMOST got in to my car by myself but Phil had to reset me by taking me out and then putting me back in.  He had me up to his full height and I was reminded why I am not 6’5!  It’s a liitle SCARY up there!  I sat in my car a bit dejected.  I called my Mom because Sean was with her and I began to cry.  I sat in the car for a LONG time before driving home.  So the “reset button” DOES take some time to warm up.  I left my crutches at Barwis, Phil says we’ll try again on Friday.  I told him, “A “Walking Friday”?  That’s CRAZY!” But maybe the “reset button” will be warmed up properly and my butt will stop hurting AS much!  Either way, I’m continuing on my road to walking.  It STINKS that I have setbacks like yesterday; but I can take it because I STILL have the endurance that Mr. Bill spoke of.   I only got 3 stands and 5 squats yesterday but “Little by little…”

TOTAL YARDAGE = STILL 341 yards and 2 steps.

I called Dusty when I got to Barwis.  I needed help.  I told him that when 5 o’clock comes, to send Adam out.  He asked if I was here (at Barwis) and I told him that I was.  I didn’t mind waiting.  Nick (the new intern) came out to get me.  I told him my name and then told him that I have MS and then added, but “it feels like MS has me today.”  I told him that I didn’t know how he could help me so he just picked me up like Phil does and put me into my chair.  I was MOST grateful and only a little bit embarrassed.

Phil motioned me over to the Keiser machine and just before I got there, a man carrying a camera smiled at me and said, “You must be Jen.”  I smiled back and asked him jokingly how he knew kind of looking around and pointing to my chair.  He told me that he has his ways and we both laughed.  He then told me that the other “First Steppers” come at 10 or 12 o’clock.  I’m the only one who comes now.  I smiled again and told him that I still work.  He told me that he was there to photograph me and not to mind him.

Phil stretched me out and I told him that I wasn’t feeling very well.  Transferring was difficult at work and Nick had to get me into the Center.  He told me to stand and that was easier said than done!  I sat in my chair again and told him that it was okay because, “first is the worst.”  I was able to stand and I completed two squats before I had to sit.  I attempted to stand and squat many times but it was SO difficult!

I told Phil that I began to “glisten” (that’s my way of saying that I am sweating).  He replied, “good.”  Normally, it IS a good thing but with the gentle breeze that was blowing, (the doors were rolled open) I would be chilled to the bone.  Standing and squatting remained being EXTREMELY difficult and I told Phil that my hands had been hurting throughout the day.  I ended up completing 5 squats and a few more stands than that.  It was a BAD day to have MS yesterday.  At least for me but…

Amanda Heckman‏ @aheckmannn

You have to fight through some bad days, to earn some of the best days in your life.

It wasn’t until I was home and my speech began slurring (MS stuff) that I decided to go to bed early.  I have since hit the “reset button” and am looking forward to a GREAT “Walking Wednesday.”

Because…

Motivation&Success‏ @MotSuccess

“The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests.” — Epictetus

These quotes are quotes that I have “favorited” or “retweeted” or both.  I believe them.  I just have to wait for it.

I arrived to Barwis just in time to begin.  Phil pulled the mat out of the corner to begin our infamous stretch.  It still hurt like anything regardless of Phil’s attempts to calm me with his repetitive, “Shhh” and, “Woosah.”  I asked him if it will always hurt this badly and he said,  “Probably.”  Well, that stinks!

After the stretch, it was time to kneel.  I didn’t feel that my kneeling was better than last week’s but Phil told me that it was better than last time.  He knows.  I can’t see myself and he CAN.  I ended up kneeling  for 8 minutes this time.  I knelt 12 times for 30 seconds each time and twice for 1 full minute each time.  Phil then lifted me off of the mat to put me back into my wheelchair and pushed me over to where my coat and things were.  I was SO tired!

Phil took me out to my car and I tried to get in by myself but Phil had to put me in.  We fist bump once I’m in and I tried to, “Joystick” him but couldn’t.  He told me that I did a good job and Shut my door.  I was SO TIRED!  I left and on my way home, the “numbness” in my legs was replaced with the all too familiar pain in my butt!  I have had continuous pain in my butt, quads, and hamstrings for a few weeks now.  It’s a “good” pain though and it lets me know that I am working hard to walk and the lower half of my body is too!  It’s been SO long that I have felt ANY muscle in my legs.  Now, I feel ALL OF THEM but I’ll take it because it’s FEELING and that’s a good thing!