Month: November 2025

“It is What It is”

I spoke to Liz today who talked to Dr. Harris and he wanted her to order Total1 contacts:

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we will see what this feels like! She told me that she ordered them today, but they will not be in until next week.

She wished me luck with that with kind of a chuckle and I returned it back to her. It’s at phrase again, “It is what it is.” I wonder how much more those daily contacts will be?

I asked her if I needed to consult my neural ophthalmologist, and she thought for a moment and said no. Then she said, I will say ‘no’. but I will ask Dr. Harris and I will call you if he wants you to talk with her. I asked her about the new contacts and she told me that they are a completely different material. Sounds expensive to me!

A Little Bit Terrifying

I had to call the billing office at Henry Ford yesterday because the charges frommy last procedure posted. I had to readjust my payment plan.

I really like that as I did that, I spoke with ease. I recently heard a recording. I sent myself after the Rams won the Super Bowl. It sounded terrible! It was so difficult for me to speak then! I’m grateful that speaking is easier now. Meira, my Speech Pathologist fixed up for me. I saw 22 times in 2022 and three times in 2023 after my swallow test in October 2021. She is still a contact in my phone.

I like that I am handling that aspect of my MS thus far. I spoke with my optometrist’s office today. He had left for the day and I will talk to them tomorrow as well. I think my eyes are becoming a thing now…

Depending on what he says to me tomorrow, I may need to message my neural ophthalmologist… This is all so a little bit terrifying but I’m handling it… #MSsucks!!! 😒😒😒…

(Not So)Random Tune #72

So, a random song came on after I was listening to my music choice and I listened to the whole song. I didn’t want to, and I didn’t think that I would, but when I heard the song after it, I realized that I listened to this entire song. That’s so CHEESY!!! Now, I will tell you what song it was:

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This is a tributeto my teaching days and our second apartment. 😂😂😂

I guess I didn’t really mind it because I heard it in my middle school as well:

My Morning Sneezes OR Snot and Spittle

I think that I attribute this to disease progression because I got my ducts cleaned in my house last May. Every morning when I wake up, I adjust my bed to be in a seated position and I sneeze three or four times.

I think I need to speak about my morning sneezes. I wake up in the morning, pretty groggy, and it takes me a moment to get my head together. Once I adjust my bed to be in a seated position, I sneeze and sneezing when I am barely is a little bit tricky!

Or at least, it’s gotten kind of tricky and I need to adjust how I react to them now. I am really having a hard time controlling my hands right now. That fact. kind of scares me! For example, a few days ago, I was about to sneeze and I grabbed a bit of a toilet paper from the table by my bed. But when I went to ‘catch’ my sneeze, instead, my finger went up my nose to the second knuckle, which obviously hurt a whole bunch! I am not even awake, and I made a strange sound of pain!

After doing that, I had to change my game plan. Now, I just let myself sneeze and when I sneeze and entails all the snot and spittle that ends up on my face each time! I think that that’s kind of gross, but it takes me a moment until I can blow my nose and clean off the spittle on my face.

My daytime sneezes are a game-time decision based on how I am feeling regarding the urgency of my sneezes. Most times, it’s just snot and spittle, but sometimes I can catch them and that is MOST comfortable for me!

Blowing my nose is very difficult for me now, so I like to ‘catch’ my sneezes meaning that I’d like to have the tissue in front of my nose as I sneeze so then I don’t have to push to get air out of my nose. That is very difficult for me to do now!

Sometimes, when I’m blowing my nose, because I have to push so hard to get air out of my nostrils, my nose makes a weird farting noise! The first time Sean heard that he didn’t know what it was and I told him that it’s just residual air leaving my nose.

My body is not normal anymore and does not function as it should. This is a hard reality for me to accept. I can’t blow my nose anymore?!

2015

All of my good times are REALLY past tense now because my current existence is rough! I was listening to Apple Music yesterday and my chosen song ended, and this one showed up and it took me totally back to 2015:

I was still teaching back then and I was in my third classroom which was a converted closet off of the cafeteria. We used the cafeteria as a gym for the PE classes. I was still driving, working, and still using a manual wheelchair and I was going to Barwis Methods three times a week at that point.

I heard this song so much working in a middle school just as this movie was about to come out! Mr. Curl played music on Fridays during dodgeball and this song was on so much for the entire day. I also heard this song at Barwis as well! I was still working with Adam back then. It’s fall and it’s after daylight savings time because I would drive home from Barwis and it would be dark as I heard this song.

The Fifty Shades books were hyped way before the movie came out. I’m pretty sure that a bunch of teachers read the books at the same time. That sounds familiar to me. I had the three book set when Sean was playing football. I actually talked with another football mom, Jen, her son was friends with Sean.

I offered the books to her and suggested that she read them by herself. Don’t read them in public. she laughed and I brought the books to her at the next football game.

I brought them to her in a paper bag, similar to Gary in Parenthood. You know, the part where he has his dirty movies in it. Well, I had dirty books!!! She laughed when I gave her the bag and I have never gotten my books back, but that’s okay.

I fell to sleep thinking of this song and all of the memories from that time in 2015. Things were so different back then! I NEVER expected them to be how they are now!

Past Tense

I told my Mom the other day that all of my good times are past tense. She was a bit of anghast about it, but I told her that my current existence is not fun! It hurts! I just think back in my memories to escape. I heard Train today and I thought of this:

Looking at this picture, I cannot believe that I am wearing a tank top, I can’t handle that anymore at all! Also, my hair is so long! that’s a statement. I never thought I would say! It’s easier for me with my hair being as short as it is now.

This is the song I heard:

I remember that was the first time that I thought chest hair looked good on a man. I was 28. Pat Monaghan came so close to us because we were in the pavilion in the front at DTE because I’m disabled.

Disease Progression

I dropped my Yeti today that was full because I can no longer control my hands. Water was all over the living room floor! My Mom cleaned it up. This is after yesterday when I dropped my phone as I was listening to the rosary.

Before we started our routine, I told her that I have NEVER experienced what is going on with my hands and I’m a little bit scared. No, I’m a lot scared. My body feels foreign to me now. I wasn’t ready for this to start happening, but I am staring at less than two months away from a quarter century or 25 years of having MS.

We watched The Emperor’s New Groove today and I will ‘splain ya about that after I get paid. I wasn’t ready for this disease progression! But how could I NOT be?! #MSsucks!!! 😒😒😒…

24 Years?!!!!

Has it really been 24 years?!!!!:

I sent Sean my Mom for their birthday dinner yesterday. They went to Royal Kabob and today, on Sean’s birthday, they both had Buntlets from Nothing Bunt Cake. I got them both red velvet because that is the best flavor!!! I even got one for myself because, well just because:

I really can’t believe that I had a child 24 years ago today…

Rando Tune #71

I have never owned anything from this artist, but somehow every time I hear this song, I dig it! It’s strange that it shows up after my assigned playlist has finished. I have written about this before, but I have been listening to it a lot in the past few days: