Today, when we got our haircut, I told Christina that Sean will be 24 on November 2. She was totally floored!!! She has been cutting my hair for 25 years?!
They listen to the same radio station each time I go to get our haircut and my eyebrows waxed and I was picking a montage of 80s songs to post on my blog; but, then I heard this song and I was completely floored myself! I remember singing this song and holding onto the mic stand for dear life because I was about to fall over.
I could still sing back then. My cousin was 15. I know that Sean was alive. Here’s the song:
it has been one week since my procedure and I’m not feeling great. I’m glad that I didn’t message my one doctor the other day because I messaged a different doctor tonight!
But, it really doesn’t matter because tomorrow is ‘go time.’ We’re getting our haircut and then Thursday we’re going to the cider Mill, which I have been looking forward to all the year!!!
Today is day #5 post procedure. I thought for sure that I would be feeling better because it’s only supposed to be a 24 hour recovery. Well, the recovery is not day #5. That sucks!
I have never felt like this before in my life! I thought to message one of my doctors tonight to see if how I feel is okay after my procedure but my Mom says to just wait it out for a bit because they really don’t have answers with me having had MS for 24 years.
I am a little over two months away from a quarter of a century of having MS. I never thought my life would be how it is now!!!
It has been four days to post procedure and I must tell you, this ‘recovery in 24 hours’ is for the birds because I feel terrible!
I have been so disturbed by my bruises on my right arm because I think they are getting worse:
I ordered Rutin from Amazon a couple days ago because that is a supplement that supports vascular health. It arrived today.My first naturopath told me about that supplement (I think) because I’ve known about it for so long, but my Mom had to remind me about it.
As I pillaged today, I was stuck staring at my right hand as I distributed the pills which totally disturbs me!
I clearly remember going to Zerbo’s to pick up the Rutin because bruising has been a horrible thing for me for my entire life; but I think it’s starting to get worse!
I’m trying to piece together when I had this conversation because I know that I was driving still and I believe I was on crutches.
I went into Zerbo’s looking for a bottle of Rutin. A man who I saw there often for a while, asked me if I needed any help. He had longer hair like John Denver, but it didn’t look as nerdy. I dated a guy whose dad had hair like that. This man had somewhat of a hippie, earthy vibe. Everyone there does! I just haven’t been there in years. My Mom goes for me now because I’m homebound.
So, I walked into the store and ask this man for some Rutin. He looked at me stone faced and asked, something like, “You are all set with tootin’?”
it took me a moment to get what he asked me. And when I did, I smirked, and told him, “That’s funny!”Then he showed me where the Rutin was.
When the doctor told me that he ‘rid my body of cancer,’ just as I was hearing Our Lady Peace and thinking about all the people that I have loved and lost as well as the people currently fighting it, I instinctively said quietly, “Thank you” because I am my Mother‘s daughter.
He offhandedly told me that the polyp is being biopsied and that I would be contacted on MyChart with the results.
Well, those results came in today. Actually, when I had just awakened and hadn’t quite gotten out of bed yet. I decided to log in to MyChart to find out what it said. I completely expected it to say nothing!!!
I STILL do not understand why I DO NOT realize that I have had MS for almost a quarter of a century! OF COURSE they would find something and they did. I read this message, screenshot it, and sent it to my Mom.
Here is part of it, and I don’t know what else to say about it:
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I read that and remained silent. My Mom came in to get me out of bed and told me that she read the entire thing as well. Our routine when she gets me out of bed is pretty much a silent one. We both know what we have to do. It’s been years.
So, when she gets me into my wheelchair, I need to adjust my chair all the way back to that gravity do the work to get me seated comfortably in the chair. I then buckle my seatbelt (really it’s a pelvis stabilizer) and then bring my chair forward, and I put my sweatshirt on.
Then, my Mom grabs my hands and pulls them straight out in front of me. I get to stretch my back as she pulls the back of my sweatshirt down. As I did that this morning, (this afternoon) I said, “I guess he really did rid my body of cancer.” What I was not prepared for, was what happened next.
She has both of my hands and I am leaning forward and I began to sob!!! Like, tears streaming out of both of my eyes and I’m STILL sobbing!
I didn’t think about this until after I was in the living room and the only reason I stopped sobbing was because I gave myself a headache. This song came out when I was at Western, and I only learned probably in the last decade that she has Lupus and that’s what this song is about:
They were diamonds on MY bedroom floor this morning for sure!!!
This is new! I have battle scars with each procedure now. My Mom and I took these pictures right after I had my procedure:
from the blood pressure cuff.
Bridget was the original intake nurse and she was pretty young. I told her that I have small veins and they usually put the port in my hand. She did not listen to me:
First time in my life that one of my veins blew trying to get a port in. Then she tried my hand:
I feel battered in the morning when I put my sweatshirt on and see all these bruises on my arms.
Now to talk about the successful colonoscopy just a little bit. They put me back into a room after I got out of the procedure room. Two nurses were helping me and told me that the doctor would be in soon to talk to me about my procedure. I was pretty groggy!
I looked in MyChart, and this is the guy who did my colonoscopy:
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He looked about my age and walked into the room, saying these six words, “I rid your body of cancer.” he walked in further and he said that that’s what happens when you leave polyps there. I had one on the left side of my colon.
But when he said those six words to me, I immediately thought of my aunt Rita and the corners of my eyes stung a little bit. This song was playing in my head:
I thought of Sean’s other grandparents who lost their battle with cancer and currently the people fighting it! I’m just happy that he says that I don’t have to come back for 5 to 7 years. My Mom said we will see you in seven and as he left I asked her, “When you’re 80? We’ll see him in five.”
So, I have finally pieced together, because it is October and I can think, about why I did all of that stuff in the middle of the summer?! There really is method to my madness!!!
My first appointment in January lead to four other appointments. My mind was spinning and then when I went to my six month appointment in March like I have been doing for two years, the scale said that I had lost 23 pounds from six months ago.
That completely freaked me out and concerned my doctor. She asked me why I don’t want to have a colonoscopy and I told her that I’m only 43. Then she told me simply, “People with MS get colon cancer.” She thought the weight loss was some kind of additional illness.
That totally freaked ME out and I was able to get a colonoscopy and endoscopy in June. The colonoscopy was a fail, and that really stunk but the endoscopy showed that I had gastritis.
My doctor wanted me to come back in in April for another weigh in. So, I was racking up the van rentals! When I went back to the doctor in April, turns out, the scale was broken and she canceled the endoscopy. But because the gastroenterologist I saw ordered it. It still stood so that’s how I found out that I have gastritis.
I had to wait six months for another colonoscopy and was able to make an appointment for October 7. I just wanted to get it in before my next six month appointment with my internist. I’m happy that I will report to her that I’m OK. I see her again to get weighed on October 21.
Today is Recovery Day #1 and I have spent most of today being weepy. I don’t even understand why I’m crying sometimes. It’s the anesthetic. It needs to come out of my body.
Another thing that is adding to my weepiness is what the doctor said to me after my procedure. I think I will write about that tomorrow and I will read the surgical notes in MyChart to find out my doctor’s name. I’ll never see him again, but I will never forget him as long as I live either.
