Month: September 2025

Yesterday, I was telling my Mom about making my appointments for January and for February. I have to go to the hospital in January for my bone density scan, but my Mom asked why I can’t see the endocrinologist virtually?

When she asked me that, I thought, DUH?! I realized that I was homebound in December 2023. Why am I going to leave the house in February if I don’t have to?! I guess after 24 years, I still think I’m LESS disabled than I am!

After I drank my nutrition shake, I called endocrinology and spoke to Chantelle. I told her that I had made an appointment the day before and I want to change it to virtual if that’s possible because I’m homebound and it will be cold in February! She made that change in ‘two shakes’ ! I was pleasantly surprised!

I felt kind of like Flora today and made it pink!!!

I found these clips today on YouTube. I remember seeing this movie so many times when I was a kid!!!

https://youtu.be/9B1wRt7fmCk?feature=shared

Check it. After I drank my morning shake, I called radiology for my bone density scan. I needed to make that appointment for January. The exact date that I was looking for was available and I took the last appointment of the day. That’s what I do now.

I next called endocrinology and the woman I spoke with said that I already had an appointment so I just decided to keep that one. Endocrinology called my mom and we made an appointment together last week, but then the woman told us that we need to make a bone density scan appointment first. She told us that she canceled the appointment. Lucky for me that she did not!

Because I was looking for appointments four and five months from now, I was able to get exactly what I needed! My 2026 schedule is taking shape and I have January and February semi secured. I will find out in November when I get my teeth cleaned when my next March appointment will be. In October, when I see my interest, I will know my May 2026 appointment.

I never thought this would be my ENTIRE life, but it is. I find solace in the fact that it makes sense to me. I can do this. I actually was thinking about texting my Speech Pathologist because I made those two appointments with such ease and I recently listened to audio recording that I made for myself and for her just after the Rams won the Super Bowl my speech was so rough back then!!! It was almost painful to hear!!!

I think that I need to ’splain ya some things. This weather transition is really difficult for me in addition to dealing with this disease progression that I was not ready for at all! But it’s happening!

I speak in a monotone voice now which I really don’t like. Yesterday, when I left the house, I looked at myself in a little mirror I have by my chapstick boxes. I haven’t looked at myself in months.

Couple things: I can’t believe my hair is this short!!! It’s necessary though. Also, I could not smile even when I was trying to force myself to do it. I think this has just hurt for too long.

I was not ready for this disease progression but it was happening all along. I just can’t believe I got here! It feels so fast! So, I’m having a hard time and I told my Mom yesterday, in a moment of despair, “There are parts of me that are dead.”

She was quite upset about this statement, and I just said, in a monotone voice, “I will never sing again.”

That statement upset ME! I remember that I wrote about the fact that I no longer can sing because I don’t have the strength to get the air into my lungs anymore. You should hear me blow my nose because that’s difficult too!

I have watched that The Voice video twice and bawled my eyes out both times! I think I will watch it a third time before I go to sleep tonight. It’s kind of cathartic crying I think. I think I cried watching that because to see the singers sing with the ease and it sounded so wonderful and the fact that I won’t do that anymore was a little bit sad for me.

I had my appointment with my naturopath today. I went in wanting to talk to him about three things and not in this order:

• I have gastritis.

•I want something to work on my eyes because both my neural ophthalmologist and my optometrist say that my eyes are stable.

•My bones. They ache.

I told him how I got Derma Trophin from the natural food store and I have taken two pills a day for a total of 150 pills. I also told him that I took the Prilosec they offered me and said I would be fine in two months, but he checked my body and he wants me to have six pills a day for two weeks and then three pills a day until I see him again. I’m not seeing him again until December because I have four appointments in October and three appointments in November.

I was able to get two of the supplements that I needed in addition to more of the Derma Trophin.

He checked my body and that’s all that I needed right now. He told me twice with a smile that, “You’re beating the system!” I smiled back behind my mask and I guess that I am with his help!!! I have been seeing him since 2011. I’m not sure why I feel so ‘meh’ today after the appointment but I do.