Month: August 2025

My Nerves are NOT!!!

I recently reposted posts that I’ve written as I’m trying to piece together this terrible summer. I posted this video and talked about how I felt. I posted this on June 20?! I still had two more months of summer to go?! I will repost the video and then I will ’splain ya why I posted it:

I think it was at the middle of May where I started moaning when I was brushing my teeth. I didn’t think anything of it at first, but as this summer continued and temperatures remained as uncomfortable as it remained. I felt like Anne Hathaway.

The moaning progressed to louder moaning And I would just drag my toothbrush across my teeth. My eyes would also sting with the possibility of tears coming out. I think it culminated a couple weeks ago maybe when the moaning led to my eyes stinging which culminated in me holding the bottom of my jaw with tears streaming openly down both sides of my face!!!

It took me a moment to realize what was going on, and I barely could make sense of it because it was so uncomfortable outside as well as within my own body.

I had a few conversations with my previous hygienist because a few months ago because my gums in the front of my mouth were feeling crazy! I thought there was something wrong! So I talked to Kristen about it, and as I was telling her, I realized that there is NOTHING wrong with my gums or my teeth at all!

I have been getting my teeth cleaned every six months religiously since Sean was three years old and he started getting his teeth cleaned. Before I had him, I was lackadaisical about making appointments like that. But now that I had a child who needed dental care, I had to give him a good example!

My Mom was extremely concerned as I sat there, holding my jaw, and crying! I told her that I am fine! I know that I am fine because I get x-rays every year and I get my teeth cleaned three times a year now. I told her there is nothing wrong with my mouth! My teeth are fine! My nerves are NOT!!!

As I said this to her, I was barely convinced myself because I use an electric toothbrush now and the vibrations as I’m brushing my teeth, during this heat, was just about unbearable!!! Other times, my Mom will look at me as I’m moaning with tears streaming down my face And wonder why I am doing it. I tell her that, “I need to have clean teeth!”

I think it’s pretty cool that I brush my teeth silently now as the ’Ber are just about here!!!

I Kind of Like it!

My windows are in and they came super early in the morning! I am so tired! Originally, I noticed the big window in my house before I bought it. In 2025, we do not have the artisans we had in 1951 so we had to change it up a bit, but I kind of like it!:

My house is in disarray still because we had to move it to make room for the people to come install the windows. It reminds me of the front window that is in my Parents’ house so I grew up with it.

I am officially into my Fall flavored chapstick. Just in time because I wore my coat out today because it was cold for me.

20 Years

I have realized that today, and this one’s for the CCA OGs, it has been 20 years since I got hired in to work at CCA.

Do you guys remember getting that index card with your hire date on it when we get back to school from summer break? I want to say that I kept mine for a while and I memorized the date because they are 26 letters in the alphabet and I was hired to teach English!

So, 20 years ago today I got hired in to teach English and my teaching career did NOT work out how I envisioned it. MS had another thing to say about it I guess.

I only taught at one school for 12 years (5 English (got my masters degree) and 7 Reading) and it ended in injury, surgery and subsequenttermination. I did not see that one coming! I thought that I would teach until I was 65 and throw my manual wheelchair into my trunk.

Yeah, it didn’t work out like that. I know that there is a reason that Taylor Swift got engaged today but I’m never going to forget that. I’m not even a Swiftie. I am more of a country Taylor fan.

I do remember that when I got hired in, I drove home to our apartment and put my contract into the desk that was in the front entryway of our first apartment. I know that it’s still there as I stare at that same desk. I still have it because it’s paid for. I don’t want to see it, but maybe I’ll tell Sean about it for when I’m gone?

“Just My Nerves.”

I have been thinking about this memory all summer! Probably, even longer than that! Let me ‘splain ya:

I think that it’s about 2004? I’m not even sure! I am still in college and Sean and I are still living with my Parents. I had just gotten fitted for Canadian crutches. I remember that my brother, Jimmy, came over and my Mom probably gave him food or something.

My crutches, stayed at the doorway of the side door. They stayed at the doorway of both of my apartments as well. I didn’t use crutches when I got my house. I was in a chair full-time then.

The memory I have is from probably 2004. So, my brother comes to my Parents’ house and he is seated at the table in my Dad’s seat and I am seated in my normal seat for dinner, directly to his left.We were talking.

He looked at me, and point-blank asked “Jen, what hurts?” I remember that I thought for a moment, and I said, “Just my nerves.” I think he may have been drinking something because he drank, and he thought about what I said, and then he looked at me, kind of quizzically. Then I said, “There are nerves in every inch of my body.”

I remember making this statement to him back then, I didn’t fully know or understand what that entails. After this summer, I KNOW what that entails. This was the first summer of my life with having MS that my entire body felt horrible!

I am so beyond grateful for fixing my air conditioning this year. I don’t know what I would do if it wasn’t because this past summer was ABSOLUTELY horrible!

I have written before that this sustained heat was not good for vulnerable people like me. I barely fell asleep, hot and uncomfortable just to wake up hot and uncomfortable. My brain could not handle it!!! I like that it’s getting cooler now so my brain has begun to relax. But this was the first time that my entire body hurt because my nerves hurt.

I will write about other unfortunate instances from this summer a little bit later.

The ‘Nubs’

I have decided that I am NOT going to change out my candle scents today, but I am going to keep my Spring/Summer candles until I’m done with the nubs. Here are the nubs:

I will use the Cucumber Mint until the weekend which I don’t think it’s going to last that long.

I will finish up strong with the Dragonfruit Lemon. I know that I have a bunch of Açai Berry in my basement, which is discontinued, so let’s hope I find it soon, but I have until next spring to figure that out.

My Fall chapstick box is already in my remote control box at my side table. I totally cannot wait for a Fall and I’m glad that I can think a little more clearly now! My brain is no longer hot!

Change of Seasons

I have felt terrible the last couple days and looking at the weather tonight, why did I NOT realize this was happening?! It’s the change of seasons! Duh?!

I really feeling like this is the end of the air conditioning this season. I got cold today when we finished our routine. I’m going to change over to my Fall candles tomorrow so I can smell the change of seasons as well.

However, I still have two nubs of my Spring/Summer flavors (Cucumber Mint and Dragonfruit Lemon) before I fully delve into my Fall flavors.

So, probably for a week, my lips are NOT going match the season we are going into, but I’m not leaving the house so I can fool myself about that.

My Faith Journey

This is the fourth time pillaging with my new pillbox and it has gotten so much easier! I like that the weather is going to calm down, at least during the night so my brain can relax. I am currently listening to Saint Michael’s Lent and Hallow and it’s kind of blowing my mind!

Screenshot

I didn’t know anything about it, but neither did the guy who’s running it! I started doing the Advent and Lent challenges a few years ago and I’ve never seen this one so I decided to do it.

Brother Isaiah speaks and prays in this challenge. A couple days ago, he talked about his music and offered the possibly that it could help us with our faith journey. Well, I’ve listened to this album on Hallow and I discovered that it is also on Apple Music. I was originally reminded of Jack Johnson, but then as I listened to the album further, he kind of sounded more like Jason Mraz. But then he started speaking ‘the habla’?! I found myself crying while listening to this album. And I kind of love this song!!!:

I think that brother Isaiah was right, that’s definitely will help with my faith journey!