I watched The Accountant today just to get The Upside out of my head because I woke this morning thinking about Phil talking about, “A sea of hands” and I do not experience that. My disease is progressing 100%!!! I am completely startled by it but it’s just my Mom working with me.
I say it with the distain that Disability is for the rich but I don’t have to pay people to take care of me! My Mom loves me! And the care Sean gave me when he had to help me out, was through the roof!!! He loves me too! I was thinking about that and I told my Mom, kind of tearfully (for both of us) that we love each other so it’s okay.
But, I had to get that movie out of my head because it is just too much for me to really think about right now! So I watched The Accountant because I didn’t want to think about the care that I need now.
I don’t remember the last time I watched it, but I own it, and I watched it again today. right when Ben Affleck dumps those whiteboard markers into the garbage can and begins rolling up his sleeves like my Dad used to roll his sleeves up and I was sitting by myself in my house, but I just clenched both of my fists, and raised them up a little bit over my head, and said out loud, “He’s so crazy! I love it!”
Sean called me because he went to dinner with my Mom and his aunt and uncle and now my Mom is visiting my aunt. He told me that normally people watch a wholesome movie to get them over watching a terrible movie. He thought it was strange that I was doing the opposite! I just laughed! I actually wonder how crazy I am because that’s totally true!!!
He said something about me wanting to watch a movie where 15 people are killed. I corrected him and told him that it is way more than that and they are brutal killings like beaten and shot in your head. Then he thought about it for a moment, and said that I was correct, and that’s crazy! But I guess I am too and maybe that’s why I love it?!