Month: December 2024

AWFUL!!!

so, the first day of 24 years of having MS, I must tell you that it is AWFUL!!! The moment I opened my eyes, I checked my phone because I had a feeling:

It actually took me listening to three audio rosaries before I sat up in bed. This weather is terrible and my body feels awful!!!

If first impressions are anything, I don’t think I’m going to like my 24th year… #MSsucks!!! 😒😒😒…

12.28.24 “She Wasn’t Wrong.”

Last night, before we got into bed, my Mom looked at her phone to see what the date was and because it was after midnight, it was December 28. She said so.

Right after she said it, I said, kind of disinterested, just like that doctor said, “Look, you have MS. You’re going to go blind. And then you’re going to die.”

Just after I finished saying those words, I let them hang in the air for a moment before I covered my face with my hands. And I begin to cry, as my Mom said that she was sorry.

Tears these days are kind of clipped. I don’t cry for very long, but it is a heaviness that hangs in the air. I’m vaguely thinking of this song from the 90s and maybe I will write about it soon.

I’ve been telling my Mom that I never would have imagined that my life would be how it is now 24 years after I was diagnosed! I can’t believe this, but this is how it is.

Thinking about that doctor with those ugly glasses, she wasn’t wrong. My eyes have started fading so much so that I have a new sentence that I say. It started just before Christmas. That sentence is:

I can’t see that.

Rough Day

I was awakened today by a throbbing pain in my knee before I even opened my eyes this morning. I hate waking up like that But, my mind was taken off of my knee once I sat up in my bed and as the bed was moving to a sitting position from zero gravity, I voluntarily let out an aria of, “Oh’s.”

I gave up and just decided to lay back down. I knew that it was going to be a rough day… AGAIN!!!

Mornings are SUCH a rough start, actually, my days begin in the early afternoon now. Tomorrow is my 24th anniversary and I knew I would be quiet about it. It’s a strange feeling in the bit of my stomach.

Sean came over yesterday for some leftover Christmas food and I told him that my due date is on Friday. He looked at me so shocked! He just said, “My birthday was a long time ago!”

Merry Christmas 2024!!!

I did not get my star up until today, and it is without beads and ornaments but I still love this tree!!! 19 years and counting!!! My Mom even found the tree skirt!!!

Merry Christmas 2024!!!

I have to modify my phases at this point. I have to use my desk for different things AND not my nativity scene. I’ll write about it in the coming days.

The Tree Skirt?!

I noticed this yesterday, as I was about to go to sleep, I glanced at the tree, and I saw that the skirt is there, I exclaimed, “t”The tree skirt?!”

I haven’t seen that in years! I thought it got thrown away when Sean was maybe 13 or 14. I’m so glad it’s here! I remember my Mom brought it up the basement in July but then I forgot about it but now it’s here on my tree!!!:

I would’ve made sure that it was completely flat though, I’m just a little OCD I think. Maybe a little bit MORE than ‘a little.’

Feliz Navidad

I had Christmas music playing on shuffle the other day, and José Felicíano came on. I asked John if he knew that he was blind. That information shocked him. I’ve never talked about it, but this song is just as much in Sean’s child as it is mine because I make sure of that because I listen to it a lot.

I just told my Mom that I remembered before basketball practice at Saint Clemens (we had to borrow their gym some nights and they are located in Dearborn) that me, and my friend Jenny Sauceda were hugging each other and dancing in a circle while singing this song. There’s not very many words, and we knew all of them because I’m sure this song was just as much a part of her Christmases as it was a part of mine!: