I have been living in my memories for eight years now. Since I stopped working. My Mom and I didn’t find out that I am”Homebound” until December of 2023. I was going to be accepted into the HAP Senior Plus insurance plan because I have been disabled for so long. I no longer make my own memories and just look back into the catalog of my more able bodied times.
I had a doozy of a memory this morning as I was sitting in my bed waiting for my Mom to transfer me out of it!!! it was complete with a soundtrack!!! I heard the opening bars of this song as I saw in my head this scene:
And this is the song that played in my head as I was sitting in my bed waiting to be transferred:
Well, this song was released in 2015. I was still working in 2015! I was the Reading Specialist already for the school. I was still actively working out at Barwis Methods back then! I saw that scene in my head but my memory of that book is different.
I was teaching in my last classroom at that time, a converted closet off of the cafeteria as the Reading Specialist, I always would let my students catch me reading (something I learned specifically in college). I would read between classes. As students would come in, they would see me reading.
I remember that I specifically bought this book because the movie was coming out and this is the actual version of the book that I have:
I was reading the specific part where they go to the horse races, and he is in his power chair, and I knew it was going to be a disaster! As I was reading the words, my eyes started welling with tears but the bell hadn’t rung yet and I had to finish the paragraph.
The memory I had of this song, and this movie was about the book I read and cried in front of my students! They were so concerned, and they asked, “Miss, are you OK?” I remember wiping my eyes and telling them that, “You know that it’s good writing when it emotes emotion!” I was not embarrassed to cry in front of them at all, but one thing that this movie points out is the fact that disability is for the rich!!! I do not have a stable to convert to an handicapped accessible apartment!
Waking up is very difficult for me now, but I’m so happy that I had such a vivid memory to focus on to help me wake up! I am not sure that I will rewatch that movie for a while because it’s kind of tough as a person in a power chair and I am absolutely NOT rich!!!