Well, I pillaged today as I do every Saturday and there is a new development. This is something that I am still grappling with and trying to wrap my head around:
I am a person who likes, “same ol’, same ol.’” As a homebound person now, my life is completely routine. I’ve been talking about that with my Mom and I don’t think I’m upset about it but I think this new change is a little bit of upsetting…
I listen to rosaries on my phone so I can concentrate. I have gone from three rosaries to four because my dosage for my supplements changed in February I think. So, I fill one supplement for the week and then take a swig of my nutrition shake. (On pillage day, that’s my dinner).
But, here is what happened today, I was filling my pillbox with one supplement that I take 10 a day and that’s for my urinary tract health and just on the last day of distributing it, I felt my hands were becoming difficult to control.
After I finished distributing that supplement, I started thinking because the next supplement was 21 pills a week and then the one after that was 28 pills a week. I could still distribute all the pills for the week without my hands feeling strange. The next pill I distribute is a tablet not a capsule and I take 36th of those a week. That one’s for my bones. And my teeth. (Which, when you think about it, that’s the same thing because teeth are bones).
That is where I made the executive decision to stop distributing my pills for Tuesday, take another swig of my infusion shake, and then on Saturday I did the same thing.
But, I think this is what is so startling about what I did today. As I was telling my Mom about it, I asked her if she remembered about that doctor appointment we had in Livonia to prove that I was disabled. I asked her about quarters on the tissue, and she remembered that as well. I told her that is what I thought of and I saw myself actually doing it just before I was approved for Disability.
I think I’m just startled at how difficult everything is now. I don’t think this heat is helping at all but my disease IS progressing and I can’t believe that I can’t do things for too long without reinforcement of nutrition and that kind of stinks…