Month: March 2024

It Hurts So Good!!!

A few days ago, I saw a video in my YouTube feed. It was super random, but I thought I would watch it. It was video of professional singers pranking the judges on The Voice. I just wanted to see who would be singing soI clicked on the video and I a man’s hands were playing the piano. It only took me a moment for me to realize who that man was, and what song he was playing!!!

I played this song, so much in our second apartment, and in the beginning years of living in our house and when I watched him sing it on The Voice, I began to cry!:

I actually called Sean a few days ago and told on myself! As I was telling him, he just began seeing the song just like James Blunt. I started laughing, and he told me that he does not have that song in his playlists at all but he told me that he still knows all of the words!!!

I remember that one of Sean’s friends in grade school knew that song, for the same reason that Sean knew it! I just told Sean, “A woman scorned…” I think after so many years, this song is cathartic for me, and it hurts so good so I don’t even feel bad about crying anymore…

No Longer Easy Nor Enjoyable

I awakened this morning to the smell of my Mom making apple pie! The smell of apple pie baking is a glorious smell to wake up to!!! This is the third year that I ever smelled her making pies!

Now that I am an adult, I realize how much work she puts into those pies and it is so much!!! With my Mom being here since March 13, 2020 I have smelled smells in my house that I never would’ve thought would’ve been the case!!!

With the progression of my MS, I tell my Mom that eating is no longer easy or enjoyable! That is the truth! I think it is a little bit sad, but it’s true. But I ABSOLUTELY LOVE the smells of my Mom making food that I can no longer eat because I grew up smelling these smells!

Another, “Easter Staple”

Well, it’s holy week, and therefore it is also “almost time for the Easter bunny!” I watched this movie today with my Mom!

I laugh EVERY single time I hear Darrell Hanna tell everybody not to move because she lost her contact lens!!! this movie makes me laugh and cry tremendously! I think I have all my Easter movies checked off my list, this Easter!

Dodgeball!!!

I wrote yesterday, how this song popped into my head once I saw myself in the elevator mirror:

I was originally thinking this was a second department song, but it didn’t come out until I was living in my house! I was already teaching Reading! Sean was not a Selena Gomez fan! He was when we lived in our second apartment, because he was all about Wizards of Waverly Place!

It took me a minute, but, this is 100% Dodgeball!!! I heard this song so much because on Fridays the kids played dodgeball in their PE class! That’s why I know that song because my classroom was just off of the cafeteria/gym. retrospectively, that really wasn’t the best place for me to teach reading to below level students but that’s what we did.

I’m NOT Ready.

Friday I had my doubleheader. It was a success, but I am not ready for what comes next! I had two appointments and I have two new return dates. One in May and one in June I told my Mom this morning, “I’m not ready for this.”

I spent yesterday recovering from Friday, but I needed to wear my contacts because I had to pillage. All three of my appointments were in the same building on Friday. I started out on the second floor and then took the elevator down to the lab, and then took the elevator back up to Internal Medicine.

I’ve been going to that office for years, I used to take Sean there for his pediatrician. This is the first time I can remember, taking the elevator, and actually facing the doors. I hadn’t seen myself in the mirror for years!!! Once the doors shut, I stared at myself and shock.

This song popped into my head when I was staring at myself, because I thought that, “I am NOT ready!”:


I have been chubby for my entire life! But once the doors shut, my coat was hanging off of me. I stared at myself in disbelief. Six times we were in the elevator, and six times, I was not okay with it and I was reminded that I am not ready for this!

I did not get weighed at Internal Medicine this time but I will do it in three months. I will need to buy a new coat next year. I’ve had that one since Sean was in high school! This time, Dr. Chamas, my internist, wants to see me again in three months. Wait. What?! Three months?! I have NEVER gone just three months between appointments.

But I think she is seeing all of my upcoming appointments and wants to talk to me about them. I will see my new doctor in May for genetic testing and I will also see my endocrinologist for the first time in May the week before that.

I have always wanted to be skinny, but not like this! I really am NOT ready for this…

Quiet Before the Storm…

I am going over in my head constantly what needs to happen tomorrow. I need to wake up at 6:30 in the morning and I will get out of bed at 7. I will start my morning routine at 10 and once we are finished, we will leave for the doctor.

I had forgotten until last night that tomorrow, we have to get a new tens unit. The cool thing about that is that Binson’s is located in the SAME complex as I will be at for my doctor appointments AND my blood work.

So right now, it is the quiet before the storm, and I will just sit and talk with my Mom tonight until “Go Time” tomorrow.

A Slight Change of Plan

“Go Time” had a slight change of plan this month. Instead of having two doubleheaders, one today and one on Friday, today I just got my haircut. My doctor was injured so he was out of the office today. I just ordered supplements from them instead.

I like that I was able to place all of my orders! I think I will crash tonight because I am a little tired and then I will twilight sleep on Thursday night because that “Go Time” is a bit intense to say the least!

I’m glad that all of these appointments are in the same exact building because I have a specialist appointment at 2:30 and then an appointment at 4:10 with my internist. I have already spoken to her and she ordered bloodwork for me to get done between appointments.

I am just a little bit nervous about this one! But after Friday, I can crash big time and then the next day out is April 17.

I STILL Learn Something NEW Everyday!!!

Today is the eve of ‘go time,’ and my Mom has already gone to pick up the van. I have already set my alarms, went over my routine for the morning before I get out of bed, and I think I am set. I learned something new today! I think it’s crazy how I STILL learn something new every day!

Let me ‘splain ya:

I have been Catholic for 42 years and went to a Catholic school for my entire 12 years from kindergarten to senior year. Today, I learned a new term. I heard it while I was praying the Lenten prayer for today on Hallow. Jeff Cavens said today begins “Passiontide.”

It’s kind of like when I read the Bible for the first time. I was a Bible Quiz champion who never got a question wrong for all the years that I was there! Upon my first reading of the Bible, I quickly discovered that I didn’t really know the Bible before! I am currently in my third read through, and I have never heard the term ‘Passiontide.’ I looked it up on Google:

I’ve only known about Holy Week and those days. Holy Thursday is my favorite day of the Catholic liturgical year and I think it has been for my entire life! I remember watching the ‘Washing of the Feet’ when I was a child at church. They don’t do that anymore after Covid and I don’t even go to church anymore. I just go sitting in my living room watching my TV and I am part of The Virtual Front Pew.

I learned in my 21st year of having MS that it ain’t no joke, and I needed help to get through! I seem to have found it on Hallow. I started with the Bible in a Year and that segued into Hallow. I’m really digging this peace that I have found!!! This is difficult, and it hurts, but I still have peace and for that, I am ZBEYOND grateful!!!

NOT YET!!!

I saw a random duet on Facebook today, maybe it was Twitter, or YouTube, but it took me back to when my Dad had just died! So, naturally, it messed me up! The duet I saw was of Pink! singing with Kelly Clarkson and they were singing Pink!’s song:


Seeing this random duet set me so back! When the song came out, I was still driving and my hair was very long. I recently had a conversation with my brother and we were talking about the fact that we still choke up and cry when we think of Dad and I told him that eventually it will be a smile, but we both agreed… NOT YET!!!

Irish-ish.

So, today is St. Patrick’s Day, and I’m rocking my shirt! I took this picture last year and my hair is shorter now, but;


I clearly remember that day, it’s when I got my state ID renewed, and I was trying too hard to handle it myself! That was a really rough day, but it got done! Today, I did nothing! I am just gearing up for my two doubleheaders next week!

Since it’s St. Patrick’s Day, I always wanted red hair when I was a child! I sent this real to my brother. If you have Facebook, you can watch it yourself:

https://www.facebook.com/share/r/Q9FGi8VcW3KiyLvQ/?mibextid=UalRPS

We watched, Darby o’Gill, and the little people because today is today!