The other day, when I talked to Sean about my “Daddy” playlist, he told me that there were two songs that I was missing from that playlist. I was surprised and I asked him, “Which songs?” He simply said, “The Jetplane song.”
I gasped because I could not believe that I forgot that song! I searched for it as we were still talking on the phone. I found it and then put it into the playlist and let me ’splain ya about that song:
The song he was talking about is Peter Paul and Mary. Leaving on the Jet Plane.
That song was a special song to my Parents when my Dad left for Vietnam. I have known that song since I was a child!!!
Sean knows that song because we lived with my Parents until Sean was three years old and I was in college. I graduated with my undergraduate degree on May 1, 2005. We moved out on our own on August 1, 2005.
I was studying to be a teacher and I read parenting magazines all of the time. I was MORE THAN AWARE of the importance of reading to my child!!! I read to him every night! Sometimes as many as three books! What I realize now is that I was so exhausted because MS was raging through my body that sometimes I could only read one book or sometimes two.
On those days, because Sean was still awake, I would ask him if he wanted to hear, “Grandfather, and Abuela’s song?” by asking that, if he agreed, I would sing Peter Paul, and Mary’s song, sometimes up to three times until Sean was asleep.
I could just lay in bed with my eyes closed and sing until Sean was asleep. I listened to that song tonight before I started writing and it brought me to tears! It brought me to tears because I no longer can sing. I don’t have enough strength to get enough air into my lungs to let it come out sounding good.
I cried about that tonight, and my Mom said to me when she saw me crying, and I told her that I can no longer sing, she said,”You are still Sean‘s mom” and I know that she is right but today, I kind of wish that I could still sing!: