My Mom asked me the date today. I had forgotten this memory until I told her that it’s April 21. It was on April 21, 2022 when I finally realized why my Mom was living with me during the pandemic.
I needed her.
If I recall correctly, and I am almost positive that I am correct, but it was on April 21 last year, my niece, Ysi’s birthday and I remember my Mom leaving my room as I was going to sleep because she had just tended to my ever-growing pressure sores and I think that I was crying. I was crying because they hurt so badly and I think at that time they had not gotten to the biggest point yet.
We just finished “Go Time” for April, and it was more seamless than March, because March was absolutely terrible and I’m still trying to process that right now.
One thing that I will say is that I am just about fully accepting the limitations of my current life. I don’t like it at all but I’m good at it. I am a scheduler and I plan things. I just never thought that would be the extent of my life.
Based on the fact that I needed to re-calibrate and segment my day, because my brain stopped when I tried paying my bills in 30 minutes like I have been for my entire life. I paid my mortgage and signature line today.
I ordered my Amazon and Target orders on Wednesday and Thursday. I had to get my compression socks so I didn’t think about my bills until today. I will pay more over the weekend I think.
my brain is slowing down and it looks like I need her still.