I am having an extremely difficult time dealing with all of my disease progression and I am completely at a loss!!! I was just explaining to my Mom today that everything that is happening to me is completely new and frankly, it’s a little scary!!!
i’ve told my Mom that I am completely startled that my internal clock has shifted. Sometimes I fall asleep five minutes after I would have been waking up if I was STILL working. That means I don’t fall asleep until 4:35.
That’s sad and completely freaks me out! I cannot believe that I actually used to do that! And I did that for the entire time I was living at our current house. Thanking about it now, I can no longer force myself to do anything! I have been operating for the past 41 years that if I just ‘grab my guts ‘and ‘suck it up,’ I’ll get it done. And it’s so shocking to me that I can’t.
There have been too many ‘can’ts’ for me to count in the past 22 years but one ‘can’t’ that was hard for me and my cousinT called me to ask about it was my lack of ability to sing. Yep, that ability he has been gone for a number of years and that hurts my soul!!!
My Mom is laying down so I started watching YouTube videos and I joyfully fell down this rabbit hole of videos and I know that my cousin reads my blog sometimes so I am going to tag her in this post for whenever she reads this!:
My cousinT, Shannon, has introduced me to the musicals RENT, and Wicked by just listening to the soundtrack in her car! We would sing all of the time when I was in high school! I really miss that but it was so much fun!!!