Today, is pillage day so I started filling my pillbox and I was about halfway through with it when I completely ran out of gas! It totally scared me and drank another shake to get more strength. This really startled me!
This paradigm shift is so crazy and now I finally understand what Meira and what Sarah have said to me. Meira asked me two years ago about losing weight when I didn’t want to and I did not think anything of it.
I have only met with Sarah three times and I’m still trying to get used to her but she really wants me to have more calories. It startled me when she said that and it’s a completely different way of thinking for me but the fact that I could not even fill my pillbox is concerning.
Once I was finished pillaging, my Mom was helping to put my legs up (we do that after by pressure sores on my feet). This is all coming at me very fast and I’m trying to make sense of it! I looked at my Mom as she put the blanket over my legs and just said, with tears welling in my eyes, “I’m sick.” and even more tears started to fall…
I thought about this song when I ran out of gas filling my pillbox and I’m reminded of junior year of high school. There’s no going back from this moment of realization for me: