“Survival Mode”

I was talking with my Mom yesterday and I don’t remember but somehow I gave the answer of, ”That’s because I am in, “Survival Mode” now.” I think it was about me going somewhere. After I said that, tears started welling in my eyes.

The real weight of that statement hit me and because I have PBA, I cry a lot and there are many times that my Mom will ask me why am crying and I will answer, “I don’t know!”

I COMPLETELY knew WHY I was crying but I just let the tears flow and let my Mom believe that I had no control over them. It is extremely difficult to realize that so much in life I cannot partake in anymore. I did however, get a haircut yesterday!

I got the haircut and two eyebrows for my 40th birthday on Saturday and I’m excited about that! But, because I left the house yesterday, I have to recover today. The back of my sweatshirt is itching me but I can’t even attend to that! I may be in, “Survival Mode” now but I have standards!!!