So, I had a rough day yesterday, to say the least, and I thought about this last night as I was falling to sleep. I think that guy has a new baseline. For the first 20 years of this disease, I have steadily operated at a 4. “I am constantly aware of my pain but I can continue most activities.” This description fit me quite well. It always hurts but I can still get stuff done! But yesterday, I was shaken when I could not swallow my pill. I’ve been swallowing pills since I was 12. The fact that this was going to be difficult for me totally tripped me out! “I think about my pain most of the time. I cannot do some of the activities I need to do each day because of the pain.” Seems to be a little more fitting of a category for me these days. Because, today I should have had my hair washed How much I rationalize it by shrugging my shoulders and saying,
“#DirtyHairDontCare.” Hi just put my winter hat on and I’m watching Love Actually. These things to help me not think about the fact that I am too tired to even wash my hair!
So, I think l operate more out of 4.5 or sometimes 4.75. Thinking about it today, it kind of scares me! In the future, I wonder how far I’m going to get in the pain scale and one!
I am forced to just deal with what I can when I can! When I think about it, it’s kind of depressing! This is the way it is and I will HAVE TO handle it! So this is me trying to come to terms with this horribly mean disease!!!