Okay, I had my MRI in the beginning of the week. It has taken me until today to process it enough to write about. Bear with me because it’s a little bit difficult and I may ramble a little.
So, my MRI was finished and my Mom had successfully let me know that there is, “No Espace” between us. The tech directed us to the elevators and told us what floor to get off on because we were in the basement. When the doors opened, my Mom stepped out of the elevator and looked down the hall to the left and then to the right. We were in another long hallway and I had no idea where we were.
My Mom took a few steps to the right and then told me that she knew where we were. I followed her for a couple turns and then I saw the chapel and I gasped.
I gasped because it became apparent to me why my Mom knew exactly where she was! My Dad spent so much time there! My brothers and I would refer to my Dad staying in the hospital as, “[Him] going to the spa” because he had so many short stays there.
I continue following my Mom and then we made another turn and were at the hallway between the west entrance and the main entrance. I looked at the floor and specifically the tiles. The tile work is 20 years old. I know it’s 20 years old because I had Sean when it was being completed.
I went to the emergency room downtown because I did not feel okay and when I called Saint Mary’s Hospital where I was supposed to have Sean, they told me since I was only 32 weeks pregnant that they were not equipped to care for me and the baby if necessary.
I was admitted to the hospital downtown early on November 1 and I had Sean on November 2, 2001. I stayed in the hospital with him for a few days and then I was discharged but he was not discharged until December 3rd.
My Mom would drop me off in the morning on her way to work at about 7:15 in the morning and my Dad would pick me up after his work at about 430. I would go home (to my parents’ house), eat dinner, and then go back up to the hospital with Sean‘s dad until about midnight. I spent the entire time rocking and glider in the NICU across from Sean‘s incubator. I was only allowed to hold him for 20 minutes a day. I never held Sean in the morning and kept the time for when his dad came up to the hospital. After a while, the nursing staff saw that I was so dedicated that they told me that I could hold Sean as long as I, “ kangaroo cared.” After they told me that, I would do that until I got hungry.
I utilized the west entrance when being dropped off or picked up because I still was not able to drive that soon after my C-section. I would see that hallway everyday and watched the man slowly and meticulously put the tiles down. He was still doing it when Sean left for the final time in December. I remember that when I would see him carefully putting each tile down I thought of a movie from my childhood:
I remember those little things fixing the tiles to the apartment entrance. They placed each tile one at a time like that man did 20 years ago at Henry Ford Hospital.
So, all of these memories were brought the forefront of my mind. I had my MRI on T -10 and today is T- 6. In six days, it will be 15 years since my Dad‘s death. I was quiet and quite contemplative on the ride home. When I got into my house, I took my sweatshirt off and saw the cotton ball and tape they put on my arm after they injected me with the dye for contrast for my MRI. I Took the tape off, saw my arm, and I started to cry.
Sean and I were recently talking about The fact that he always used to take my Dad‘s bandage off of him when he came home from dialysis. They would work together and my aDad would tell Sean to take off the bandage slowly. I was shocked that Sean remembered that Because he was so young back then!
When I awoke the next day this is what my arm looked like sis, which is a sad commentary on our times:
I thought of how many MRIs they give a day and they can’t even afford higher quality tape?! I have to go back to the hospital in a couple weeks for my Swallow test. I’m a little nervous about that one!