I have had undiagnosed PBA for about a decade now. I am extremely comfortable with it though. Laughing is easier to explain to people then crying but that seems to be the case now as my PBA has progressed. I am still okay with it.
Given that today is the second Friday of Lent, I watched Jesus Christ superstar again which is what I do because I cannot attend Stations of the Cross at church. I looked up why people watch the same movies over and over again which I do and I came across some pretty interesting information:
I liked that explanation very much. I looked it up a bunch of times in the early hours of this morning as sleep escaped me, yet again but it was nice to read the reinforcement:
Reading these things made me feel better but I also read this one which made me take pause:
Reading this, I thought, what do I have to be depressed about?! It’s not like dealing with constant pain daily and loss of abilities is difficult or something! Right?!
But I watched it for a second time this Lenten season and this time, I cried a lot more from the very beginning until the very end! I found it quite cathartic!:
I focused on Judas this time through. For my entire schooling in a Catholic school, I always thought he was just a horrible person but I watched him and saw how conflicted he was and my heart went out to him!
This moment got me the most:
And this song comforted me even though I don’t know the accuracy of it:
I have never seen the John Legend version and maybe I will have to watch that one next Friday if not before then.