Having had MS for just over 20 years now, I am no stranger to, “Can’t”s. Over the past two decades, I have seen many abilities diminish or be completely gone. A lot of these are very slow progressing so I’ve had time to deal with and process them. I’ve taken these, “Can’t”s in stride because there is no other way to handle it.
It has been almost three years since I taught in the classroom. I’ve had almost three years to process the fact that I am no longer teaching in the classroom but it is definitely NOT easy. I miss my ability to teach every day.
When I wake up in the morning, I’ll check my phone as I call my Mom to tell her that I am awake so she can help me to get out of bed. I will check any texts I have missed throughout the night and my emails as well. Checking my email this morning startled me. I read this email as soon as I opened my eyes:
The email told me that my teaching certificate will expire in 177 days. I have been a certified teacher since the spring of 2005.
And in 177 days, I will no longer be a certified teacher. Reading this email made me catch my breath and it was a little startling.
I haven’t been in the classroom for almost 3 years but this kind of hurt! I am no longer in the classroom because MS has decided to take that ability away from me as well. I always thought I would retire from teaching about 30 years from now. Instead, I was forced to stop teaching almost 3 years ago. My certificate expires on July 1, 2021
There is no point to renewing my certificate because I am no longer able to teach. This morning, I was startled and I will say that this, “Can’t” hurts a little bit more because if I could, I still would.