Month: January 2021

My Mom asked me the same question she asked me two days ago as she helped to get me out of bed. She asked me what I was smiling about. Today, seeing that this was the second time that she has asked me this in a couple days. I told her that I was NOT smiling. I told her that I was gritting my teeth.

My sleeping habits have changed so much over the years! While I was still working, I used to wake up at 4:30 in the morning to be at work by 7:40. As my disease progressed, it got progressively harder to get out of bed and ready for work. I had first hour prep and after providing a doctor’s note regarding my condition, and I was able to arrive to work as late is 8:45 because second hour started at 9:15.

While I was still working and before I started working out at Barwis, I slept like a vampire. I laid flat on my back and did not move the entire night. Once I started working out at Barwis, I was able to move around a little bit in bed as I slept because I was regaining muscle strength and flexibility.

Michael Rhoades challenged me to lay on my stomach for 10 minutes before I went to sleep to help my muscles that stay contracted all day because I am seated. This was extremely difficult in the beginning and I could only last four or five minutes at a time.

Now, fast forward to a second knee surgery and it’s painful to sleep on my back because it really hurts my knee. Rather, now, I sleep on my left side so as not to put pressure on my right knee because my right knee is on top of my left knee.

Fast forward a little bit more and being four years after surgery and four years removed from working out at Barwis things have changed again. My Mom will help me to get into bed and she will cover me as I am laying on my left side. Then, she will tuck the covered underneath me and grab my right hand and pul me toward her so I can lay mostly on my back and will mindlessly play Word Connect or solitaire on my phone as I try to relax in order to fall asleep.

Currently, I am watching Bridgeton which helps me to get into a mindset to drift off to sleep. Because my Mom has tucked the covers under me, I can roll over to my left side by grabbing the edge of the bed. And now, almost 4 years removed from knee surgery, I can lay on my stomach for most of the night. I really should tell Michael Rhoades about this!

Anyway, so when the morning comes, or almost afternoon, sometimes I can roll back over onto my back by myself so my mom can put my shoes on for me and other times I need my Mom to help me. As I am rolling over onto my back by myself or she is helping me, I grit my teeth because it is painful. I kind of like that my struggle looks like a smile even though it is NOT!!!

I texted Sean this afternoon and asked him to pick up a prescription for me from the local CVS because it was ready. He came to drop it off in the mailbox after work and shoveled the snow.

I heard him on the porch and called him. He told me that he was shoveling and there was a little something in the mailbox for me with my prescription. I told him that I was kind of excited! He told me that it wasn’t a big deal and was just a little something but some thing I had said that I wanted.

My Mom opened the door to get the stuff out of the mailbox. This was the, “Little Something”;

I texted Sean pictures of this commercial and told him that I wanted to try it out months ago. When I talked to him on the phone, he said that it was something small but something that I had wanted for a while. After I was finished with it, I texted him that it was:

“DELICIOUS!!! THANK YOU!!! 💜💜💜

He told me that I had wanted it but he had not seen it at any stores but while he was picking up my prescription, it was there and he had to get it!

NICE! I think it was an excellent, “Little something.”

I remember ordering Cheeseheads on NFLshop.com one year during the playoffs.

The Packers were eliminated before I was able to wear it. I but them for Sean and me to wear in our house during the playoffs. I figured that I would save the Cheeseheads for the following year seeing that the Packers were eliminated.

I was talking with my Mom recently because I was thinking about getting them from the basement to wear because the only team I want to go for was the Packers. She recalled coming here one time when Sean must’ve been 12 and we were watching the Packers play and we were both wearing our Cheeseheads.

She recalled coming into the house and seeing us wearing, “Those ridiculous hats.” Now that they are eliminated from the playoffs again this year, looks like I will have to wait another year to bring them up from the basement

I have been living in my memories for a while now but I remember watching the game with Sean wearing our Cheeseheads and I would repeat Aaron Rogers’,’ “Green 19” throughout the game. I also remember that I bought Sean Packers sweatpants for Christmas when he was 12 I think. I had visions of buying him another pair of sweatpants this year if they made it to the Super Bowl. I don’t have money for that anyway so. it seems that it is just as well.

I got this text from my friend earlier and it is absolutely heartbreaking for me:

Sean texted me to ask me if I was okay. I texted back, “ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!” Because I am not!!!