Month: May 2020

My First COVID-19 Tears

My Mom came to stay with me on March 14th. She is my caregiver and it made more sense as the state was shutting down for her to stay here with me and Sean. I saw a post a while back about the fact that people with MS’s lives have not changed very much with the, “Stay at Home” orders. I told my Mom that my life hasn’t really changed because I have pretty much stayed in the house except for once a month to get my eyebrows waxed and my hair cut.

Sean and my Mom are here all the time so that is one thing that’s different but I I’m still living the same life. Almost, somewhat unaffected. Because it only recently it’s getting warmer, I still sit in my house in the hoodie and often times in winter hat because I no longer can control my body temperature. My central air broke the summer before my last year teaching. Once it was broken, my brother, Dave, bought me two window air conditioners. One for my room and one for Sean‘s room. When he bought them, it was the middle of the summer and I had to figure out how to save enough money on a teacher salary to get my central air fixed.

I knew that would cost me somewhere in the thousands. I did not have that kind of money in savings that summer so I needed to think deeply about my options. I never would have thought that the following October, I would get seriously injured and would need surgery. Recovering from that surgery has been very long and difficult and is still not complete. Now, I am on disability. Being on disability does none of war do you the luxury of getting your central air fixed because you don’t make that much money.

Shamefully, I am still rocking my window air conditioners like it’s in the late 1980s:

I was still wearing hoodies and often times a winter hat because it was just a little bit chilly and I couldn’t get warm. That is, until last Saturday night. The scene of my first COVID-19 tears. My Mom had told me probably last Thursday then the window air conditioners would need to be put into my bedroom window and Sean‘s bedroom window because it was beginning to get warmer. Saturday, as I watched TV, I had to take my winter hat off because I felt warm. I also took my hoodir off close to me getting ready for bed.

My heat intolerance came over me so fast that all I could do was try to remain perfectly still to conserve my energy. I got ready for bed, and as I brushed my teeth, I could not stop or control the silent tears streaming down my face. As I wiped them off my cheeks with my hand, I try to keep my mouth from twisting. Sean always says that my mouth gets crazy when I am trying to hold my tears in. It was crazy on Saturday!

I had just written about me being very particular about my covers and the fact that I love my covers pulled up to my chin when I slept. It was so warm in my house that I could not even think about having my heavy comforter on. Instead, Sean lifted me up and put me onto my bed as tears continued to stream out of my eyes and down my face.

My Mom asked me if I just wanted a sheet on as I slept and I nodded silently. Sean had a box fan on in his room because that is where he and the dog sleep. I do not have a door in the doorway of my room because the doorway has been widened to accommodate my wheelchair so I could feel the fan blowing on my skin and my skin is so sensitive to sensations that I had to pull the blanket between my sheet and my comforter on me as well to keep the wind off of my skin.

I was so miserable but I ended up eventually falling asleep. When I awoke in the morning, Sean and my Mom put my air conditioner in my window and I was able to have it on Sunday night. When I woke up this morning, I was freezing so I turned my heat back on and I am sporting a hoodie and I wear a hat some of the time. I really wish that I could control my body temperature! And I wish I wasn’t so heat intolerant! Hence, my first COVID-19 tears.

This Lady

I saw this commercial awhile back and I thought it was funny. It wasn’t until I ACTUALLY became this lady that I thought it was even funnier. I am finally figured out what kind of commercial it was:

I am very happy with Verizon and I will not change but I take pictures of this dog all of the time! EVERY. SINGLE. DAY!!! This dog has been in my house since Tuesday so she has only been here six days and my camera roll is filled with her pictures!

May 2020 Faves

I am completely off kilter with this whole crew COVID-19! Subsequently, I was able to post my faves on the first. I really have been listening to music these days but I just binged, “The Office” and this song was when Pam played the disc of her and Jim footage. I love them! So that’s my faves going along with that song:


Matter-of-Factly

I thought of something from last week that I wanted to write about but I was hard-core into my, “The Office” binge. I need to write about this before I write my blog post about last night. It has to do with getting into bed at night. I need a lot of help to get into and situated in my bed at night. Sean has been able to help me and my Mom because he is home.

He is strong enough to just pick me up out of my chair and place me in my bed. When he did this, my Mom made fun of me being extremely, “High maintenance” and that I need all of my covers right up to my chin. I always explain to her that I am not, “High maintenance“ but rather; I am, “High standards.”

As my Mom pulled my covers up to my chin, Sean asked me if I ever let my leg out of the covers when I am too warm. I told him quite matter-of-factly, “No.” I wasn’t ready for his follow up question but he had one. He asked me if I do NOT put my leg out from under the covers because I am afraid of monsters. I answered him just as matter-of-factly as before, “Yes.”

It took a moment for my answer to sink in before we all started to laugh! I am not even ashamed to admit that at 38 years old, I am STILL afraid of monsters getting me while I sleep!

My The Office Binge Day 42

I finally finished the series! Sean told me before I started that it ends with a nice bow on it and I absolutely loved it! So, it stinks that Erin and Andy and Nelly and Toby didn’t make it; but what do I know about that kind of stuff?! There were so many great songs in the show and in my final do you watching it; but,the one that sticks in my mind right now is:

Because, until I heard it, I had REALLY forgotten about Snow Patrol and it reminds me of our second apartment and I absolutely love Jim and Pam!!!

Pride

I have told Sean that I did NOT wish for him to be a teenage parent pretty much since he was seven years old. I would add, “Because this, is HARD!” as I pointed to myself. The, “This” I spoke of was single, teenage parenthood and Sean understood that. As Sean has grown, he understands that fact moreso. He has told me that he could NOT see himself having a child now.

Yesterday, he told me that he could NOT have a baby now and he didn’t know how I did it! I reassured him that he was an excellent baby! He was in NICU for a month and once he came home, for an additional month, he slept all but 20 minutes a day. I had to wake him up to feed him. When he was two months old, he slept from 8 to 8 every night. He also took 2, one hour long naps every day until he was three.

So, this morning, Leia woke up early! I heard Sean put her leash on to take her outside and I looked at my cell phone and it was 5:56 a.m. I usually wake up and get out of bed when she wakes up in the morning but this morning, I put my phone down and said to myself, “I’m NOT getting up!” and I went back to sleep until 8.

Thinking about it, my son IS a single, teenage parent and I am the one who bought him the dog! The amount of pride I have in him taking care of her is beyond immense! My Mom has taken her out a few times but I can’t help at all. I just get to pet her as she gets on her hind legs to put her paws on my armrest. My son will be an excellent dad because although he is tired today, he is an excellent Pet Daddy!!!