Continuing with the focus on things that people don’t realize I can no longer do. Even though this one is OBVIOUS that I can’t do it anymore but it’s NOT obvious how much it hurts…
I miss dancing.
I’ve written before that I was never an excellent dancer but I had rhythm. I have missed dancing for a long time. My first summer at Barwis, within the first week maybe, I asked Jesse how long it would be before I could dance again. He told me that that would take a while but he didn’t say I would never do it again. I remember that making me happy.
It’s been six years and five days since my first day at Barwis. I was so hopeful back then! Now, with my knee injury, I’m less hopeful because I’m beginning to forget what it feels like to have two completely normal knees. That part makes me really sad.
Because sleep doesn’t come very easily to me now, I’m laying in bed listening to Sara Bareilles. I am immersing myself in this album a lot these days. When my Mom comes into my house and hears me listening to this album, she tells me that it sounds, “Gray.” She tells me that her music sounds better and this is just soft music and [Sara’s] voice.
I told my Mom that Sara’s voice reminds me of Barwis and my ability to sing. I explained the importance of immersing myself in this album and today as I’m trying to fall asleep, it reminds me of slow dancing. I really miss that right now And I don’t know when I will ever do it again.