Slur OR Wince

A newer thing that has begun to happen to me is that when I am tired or stressed, I slur my words. I remember getting my words garbled a little bit while I was teaching and in front of students and I would just stop make a funny, “Blah” noise and then I would repeat myself correctly.

The students would laugh a little bit. It probably did not happen until about four or five years into teaching and it didn’t happen that often. Once I received my Master’s degree, I think because I had a smaller class size and the two reading programs I taught were largely scripted that it didn’t happen very often.

Well, it happens a lot now! It’s pretty stressful to deal with constant pain from a torn meniscus and a surgery that is not healing very well because I have MS. It really stinks that I cannot pick or choose when it will happen and that frustrates me!

So, the Wednesday before Easter when I saw Mr. Wright at Target, it happened. We met up again in the checkout lane as he was paying for his things just before my Mom and I were going to pay for ours. We discovered that my Red Card was in my Mom’s wallet in the car so we put our things on the register next to ours that was empty and she went out to the car to get it. You got to get that 5% discount!

My Mom pushed me over to the next empty register to wait while Mr. Wright paid for his items. When he was finished, he came over to talk with me until my Mom came back. We had been in Target for a while (who can EVER do a fast target run?!). I could feel the fatigue rising in my body! It didn’t take that long for my speech to begin to slur.

I tried speaking very slowly and deliberately (which usually helps with the slur) but it did not help in this case. I think I saw Mr. Wright wince a bit at my speech because I did not slur when I taught and when I would talk with him every day when we worked together. Even when I did, it was a very minor. The slur I get now is different and more pronounced.

I may have just been imagining Mr. Wright’s wince because I myself was wincing as I tried to will my speech to correct itself! It didn’t take long for me to realize that that was not going to happen! At least not at this moment! Once my Mom came back in with my Red Card, Mr. Wright left and my Mom and I checked out.

It breaks my heart a little bit to realize how much my disease has progressed! This is where I am now. When I am forced to realize my limitations, I cry inside and wince ta bit.