Voluntary Surrender

Because my license is expiring tomorrow (because it’s my birthday!), my Mom and I went to the Secretary of State today. It was really busy there but since I am disabled, there were only two people in front of me. Once it was my turn, my Mom pushed me up to the counter and I told the woman that my license was expiring but I needed to change it to a state ID because I can no longer drive. She immediately began typing on her computer and gave us paperwork to fill out. As my Mom was filling the paperwork out (because I can no longer write well enough to fill out a legal form – my writing is mostly illegible, oversized scrawl) I took this picture:

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Something told me that this would be the last time that I would see my driver’s license complete. As we finished the paperwork, I went back to the counter and gave it to the woman. She did some more typing and handed me two pieces of paper to sign on a clipboard. I signed both pieces of paper and gave the clipboard back. She gave me one piece of paper and my Mom was going to fold it up but I stopped her because I wanted to read it. I probably shouldn’t have done that.

It had my name at the top and my driver’s license number that would become my state ID number and there was one sentence written above the line where I signed my name. This sentence was, “License canceled because of voluntary surrender.” As I read that and it sunk in, my eyes began to well with tears. I had tissue in my coat pocket so I was able to dab the corners of my eyes so as not to have tears streaming down my face in such a busy place.

As I kept wiping my eyes, my Mom told me that it was OK and she tried to calm me down and handed me additional tissue. The woman had me sign two more things and then she directed us to walk down to take a picture. Well, I was happy that my poofy hair would not be on my license anymore because it rained the day I renewed my license so my hair got really frizzy!

The new ID picture is just a picture of me and my Mom and I left. After leaving, we stopped to get some chicken schwarmas for lunch. As she pulled into a parking spot at Hamido’s, this song came on:

This song has always been my song to my Mom. Sitting in the passenger seat, I grabbed her arm on the inside of her elbow like I used to just after my Abuela died. (My Mom’s Mom) We both sat there in silence and I was the first want to start crying and my Mom cried too because she finally was able to pay attention to the lyrics.

My state ID will come to my house in two or three weeks. They punched a hole in my old license because it will be expired tomorrow but stapled the paper that states that I will be getting a new ID soon to it. I need to call my insurance agent to adjust my car insurance now that I am no longer a licensed driver. I don’t think I will do that tomorrow though, it IS my birthday and that might bum me out!