Continuing with the focus on things that people don’t realize I can no longer do.
I miss reading.
First off, let me clarify a bit. I STILL know how to read! However, I can no longer get lost in a book and read all day. That was something I used to do and now that I am home all of the time, it would seem that would be a good thing to do. However, what has been happening recently is that green leopard print shows up on my book pages a lot sooner than it used to!
I have always been an avid reader! In kindergarten, we had a summer reading program where we had a paper to fill out and get signed by a librarian whenever we read a book. My Mom took me to the library all of the time! I remember being really embarrassed when my teacher told the class that, “One student has read 100 books!“. Yeah, that student was me.
I was in second grade when I first needed glasses. The eye doctor told me to only wear glasses when I read but since I read all of the time, I had to start wearing glasses all the time. One day, when I was 12, my Dad was tightening at the arms of my glasses and as a joke, he put them on. He was astounded that he could see out of them! It was shortly after that day that I got contacts which I still wear but that is a topic for another post because MS has also affected that.
I have 2 degrees which involved a whole lot of reading and I am grateful that I did not experience the green leopard print when I was in college. There have been many days in which I forewent sleep to read but those days are also gone. Not just because I’m an adult now, but because after a while of reading, the green leopard spots start appearing on the pages of my book.
When they start appearing, I try to push through and continue reading but as they darken, I have to stop and close my eyes to rest of them. I set a timer so that I read a total of 45 minutes a day. AT LEAST and recently, I’ve had to break those 45 minutes up into three or four different sections. It really kills me that reading just 45 minutes puts a strain on my eyes and know that I am 18 years into having MS, it does make me nervous about what the doctor who diagnosed me said so long ago. She told me that I was going to go blind before I died. I know I am not going blind just yet but my vision is a lot more sensitive now!
My eyes look completely normal and I act as if they still are but depending on different factors, (The weather, the temperature, my stress level, if I have eaten or not, and the list goes on) maybe I am not seeing so well. That contributes to the fact that I no longer drive. I hope this change in my vision while I am reading it’s not something permanent but I guess I will just have to wait and see.