Month: August 2018

I’ve had a thing for Bradley Cooper since Silver Linings Playbook.  I loved him in, Burnt (which I have seen 30 times)!  I cried my eyes out in, American Sniper!  I saw Aloha in a movie theater by myself and even tolerated his crazy hair in, American Hustle. It trips me out that he is the  voice of the raccoon in Guardians of the Galaxy!

I just saw the trailer for, A Star is Born:

At about 1:14 into it, I screamed! I really have a thing for Bradley Cooper!  Those eyes kill me!  I showed my Mom the trailer and she kind of laughed when I screamed. I showed Sean and he said that it looks, “ kind of like an OK movie.”   I told him that he could take  me to see it when it comes out! He kind of laughed.

My Mom asked me how old he was and I asked google and he is 43. I got excited because it’s completely acceptable for me to be with him because he’s 43 and I’m 36. My Mom asked me if he had any kids and I told her that I didn’t know. She also googled that and showed me a picture  and article that stated that he was practically married to his baby mama; and my heart broke! She laughed at my face!

Well, apparently I cannot compete with a Russian model and I have not experienced heartbreak for a long time. But seriously, my heart broke! She asked me why and I told her that it’s obvious now that he’s not waiting for me!

I STILL want to see that movie though! His eyes are killing me! I’m going to watch, Burnt again today I think!  It doesn’t really matter though, Bono is 58 and I still love him! Matthew Stafford is only 30 and married with twin girls and I still scream that I love him at the TV  every weekend during football season! I’m so excited for football season to start again!   Bradley Cooper is my most realistic crush though. He’s more in my age range. His eyes really do kill me!

 

So, I had to vote today.   It’s rare for me to get out of the house in this heat especially because I have to transfer to my manual chair to do so. Absentee ballots are not as fun and I would not get a sticker once I voted so I made my way to my local elementary school to cast my vote.

My Mom took me this time and I had a couple of the same woman checking me in from the last time. My precinct does not have a disabled voting booth so my Mom had to help me cast my vote.

As my Mom drove me back to my house, I had to celebrate with an iced chai tea latte and a green goddess salad  from Panera! Sean was cutting the grass so my Mom got out of the car to  give him some instructions and supervise.  I turned the radio on. I remember years ago that a former colleague told me that you know you’re old when you don’t to listen to new music. I settled on the 90s on nine station in the car.

This song was playing:

I don’t think that is what makes you old, I think it’s the fact that I no longer have the pipes to belt that song out with my, “chest voice,” and only can use my. “head voice.”  My cousinT, Shannon, explained the difference to me years ago when I was in high school and I had no problem belting things out then. I didn’t know that would change.

Since I was in the car by myself, I could belt this one out when it came on!:

I think Natalie‘s voice is more in my range then Mya’s.   I was younger when the 10,000 Maniacs song came out but listening to the radio before my Mom came back to get my wheelchair and me out made me realize that I’m pretty old!

Late last night, my feet felt like they were on fire! I have had that tingling and numbness, static feeling since just before I was diagnosed. That was 17 years ago. There has only been a of couple times in my memory when parts of my body feel like I am on fire though!

Once, during undergrad, before I really knew what was going on after diagnosis, during class, my feet were burning! I went outside in a T-shirt in the middle of the winter to try to make myself feel better. Also, when I got fired, my entire body was enolfed in flames! It was kind of like Gwenyth Paltrow in Iron Man three.   Then, it felt as if lava was surging through my veins.

Last night, the fire and extreme burning feeling was limited to my feet and bottom part of my shins  and calves. It was not comfortable at all! It was torturous!  Once I got in bed, my Mom began rubbing my feet. I still had my compression socks on but the rubbing made my feet feel better! However, my right knee hurt as my Mom rubbed my right foot. It felt like the bones were wobbly, rubbing, and bumping into each other as she rubbed. I told her that it hurt and she should stop.

She suggested that I put ice packs on my feet. Years ago, When I used to see Dr. Clark, (my NRT and chiropractor), his staff would give me a mini massage before I got adjusted. They would put a heating pad on my back to loosen me up before the doctor came in. I was able to purchase those heating pads. I have two of them. One is a square and the other one is for my neck so it’s a thin band.  They are similar to the gel packs they have at ATI to ice my knee. After my surgery, I put those ice packs in the freezer.

I put them both in so I could rotate them while I iced my knee.    My Mom went to grab them from the freezer and I was nervous that I wouldn’t be able to feel the cold. I can no longer feel my bathroom floor being cool  because I am not working out at Barwis. I don’t really have blood flow in my legs.

She brought them over and wrapped each pad around my foot. I could feel the cold! She wrapped her hands around the pad and squeezed. This really did help to put out some of the fire! She had them on my feet until my feet were just a little bit uncomfortably cold. Because I wasn’t in so much pain, I could  fall asleep. I haven’t had that fiery feeling in my feet for a long time! It kind of scares me until it goes away! Not that my feet feel normal by any means but at least they aren’t on fire right now.

Reminds me of my Dad:

I can mindlessly play this in the middle of the night when I can’t sleep. I downloaded this app on my phone once Word Connect got more difficult.

There are 2500 levels to the game and I will BEAT the game! Eventually. It takes my brain a while sometimes to figure out the words so it’s those, “sometimes” when I need a break and I play solitaire.    Brain games are good when you have  MS.  The only thing with Solitaire on my phone is that yiu  can’t cheat!

Sean saw me playing it a while back  and he asked me why I was playing it. I told him that it reminds me of my Dad.   My answer made sense to him and he told me that he doesn’t know how to play. That’s insane!

Last week, I woke up and checked alerts on my phone.   I get alerts from the Late, Late Show because it so funny! I saw this one and laughed out loud because, like Debra Messing, I too was dumb like this!

My situation was a little bit different and I have to clear it up. I was a signer on my Dad’s card when I was a Senior in high school. It was not $600, but I think $250 from a kid who has no means of paying it back is kindof a big deal! My Dad kind of thought so too!   Actually, it was my Mom who was making me pay my Dad back! My Dad did not cut up the card but he took it away and he did present me with the bill and a highlighter. He told me to highlight all of my charges so I could see the money I spent.

Once I saw this clip of Debra Messing on the Late, Late Show, I thought of that conversation and my Dad presenting me with the bill and a highlighter and my Mom kind of freaking out! I was sitting at the  dining room table in my brother Jimmy’s seat and my Dad was sitting in his seat. He was at the head of the table and I was to his right. His good friend, Mr. Kramer, was over and he sat at the table with us in my seat (which is to my dad’s left).

As he and my Dad were talking, I was looking at the bill  sweet as you please and highlighting all of my charges.   I might have been about halfway done reviewing the bill when Mr. Kramer  stopped talking to my Dad and looked at me and told me that, “It  might be easier if you highlight the charges that are NOT yours!” and then he laughed!

I worked two part-time jobs the summer before my freshman year at Western and I paid back all of the money that I charged. It was like $236 or something. I  told my Mom about the video clip and laughed about being so dumb!

I have not put Sean in a position to be that dumb, however. I Will not ever make him a signer on my credit card because I don’t have that kind of money! The kind of money that my Dad had, or so I thought  when I was a kid!

It’s August now and I miss my Dad so much! Coming up on 12 years  and I never thought that 12 years later that in a heartbeat it could seem like it was yesterday!   I tell my Mom that I cannot believe that I was that dumb to think I could get over it!