Having had MS for almost 18 years, There are MANY things that I miss! I don’t want to talk about the obvious things like walking and driving but rather, focus on things that people don’t realize I can no longer do.
I miss writing.
Sean started school yesterday and I had to sign the syllabi from each teacher for his classes. My signature does NOT look like it used to!
I am saved by ‘dictation to text’ capabilities in my phone so I can still “write” blog posts. But, it’s the physical act of writing that I can no longer do. I cannot hold a pen.
My Mother or my son will sign for me when I use my credit or debit card in public. They write the checks out for me and I just sign my name by repeating my name to myself a number of times before I begin writing it.
I didn’t have a problem taking notes in college or even writing when I taught. I think it’s sad that if I hadn’t injured my knee, I would still be writing more easily than I did last night to sign my name seven times. It didn’t look very good at all but anyone can tell my signature by the unique way I write my, “J’s”
I used to love my writing! In high school, I started writing, “Obscenely large” (that’s how I explained it people). Retrospectively, it’s probably because I was losing control of my fine motor skills even back then. I wrote even bigger when I graded papers!
My Mom will forget that I can’t control my hands well by telling me to write myself notes. Yeah, not so much! She tells me that my hands look functional but alas, I have learned that looks can be deceiving when your body has MS and nobody can tell!