It took me a couple of days to process this but, you know, having had MS for 17 years and having torn my meniscus almost 2 years ago, I have dealt with some pretty devastating things. I don’t want to enumerate them because I do not like to dwell on them. However, Sunday morning, I experienced a pretty devastating thing!
It was so devastating that I have to write about it to get it off of my chest. The last time I worked out at Barwis Methods was September 20, 2016. I began working out there on July 12, 2013. My experiences there were some of the most important of my life! I’ve spent the last 17 years losing control of my body as my MS progressed and working there, I was slowly getting some of it back with the intention of walking again. EVERYONE there gave me that hope that it would happen one day! The Barwis Methods tab on this blog chronicles all my experiences there and all the WONDERFUL people I love and are more important to me than they know!
Dr. Frush told me when I injured my knee to NOT return to Barwis Methods until my knee stopped hurting. I STILL go to sleep in pain and wake up in pain and I am in pain all day long! Sadly, I have not returned to Barwis.
A couple of months after I began working out at Barwis Methods, I noticed that my bathroom floor was cold! I could feel it on the bottom of my bare feet! I was so excited that day that I told Sean about it and he told me that it ALWAYS has been cold. I told him that the floor in our bathrooms of our apartments were not cold and he told me that they also were.
Well, after close to two years of NOT working at Barwis Methods, my bathroom floor did NOT feel cold on Sunday morning as my bare feet touched the tiles. When I realized this fact, I cried! They were sad, pitiful tears! It made me miss Barwis even more! Once I get okayed to return to Barwis, it may take another four years but I plan on getting some of my muscle control back! I’m just not sure when that will happen and in the meantime, I am sad, devastated even because the realization I came to on Sunday of the loss of feeling in my feet is devastating to me.