Month: September 2017

I had my ultrasound today. The office was Dr. Frush’s old office.   The artwork had changed but there still were the giant-sized chairs in the waiting room. When I was called back,  I was called back to the room where I first met Dr. Frush back when I tore my hamstring for the first time. Thoughts of that day rushed back to me as I got onto the movable table. Megan was the nurse who called us back and Cheryl was Dr. Bouffard’s assistant tech.

Dr. Bouffard  squirted the cold jelly  on my knee and began what I thought was a “rough draft” of my ultrasound.   He told me that he and Cheryl would be speaking in very technical terms as he told her what he wanted pictures of.  Cheryl was going to take the pictures of what Dr. Bouffard wanted. He told her to make a comparison of the ligaments and muscles from my left knee while she was taking pictures of my right knee.

They traded places and Dr. Bouffard left. I don’t know how many pictures Cheryl took but every time she snapped a picture, it sounded like a squirt  sound from a cartoon.   She wiggled the little wand thing around and then clicked the button to make a *Squirt.* it was dark in the room with the overhead lights off with only a few under-cabinet lights and it was quiet for a while except for the, *Squirt,* *Squirt,* *Squirt.*  sound that Cheryl made with the machine.

I turned over onto my stomach with Cheryl and my mom’s help and Dr. Bouffard came back in to show Cheryl what pictures to take. After he was finished explaining what he wanted to Cheryl to do, he said his farewells to me and told me that I was all set  after Cheryl finished taking the pictures. Dr. Frush would call me to discuss his findings.

Cheryl continued with the, *Squirt, *Squirt,* *Squirts.*. We talked about different doctors’ bedside manners and she continued taking pictures. I don’t know how it happened but my Mom started speaking of my Dad’s death and the doctors’ bedside manners when  they told  my Mom.   I was grateful that Cheryl finished my ultrasound before we talked too much more about it because I could feel my eyes stinging and a lump forming in my throat.

Cheryl wiped the backsides of my knees off, my mom re-snapped my pants, and Megan helped flip me over by holding my arms. It was a complete team effort  and as I was safely back in my wheelchair I thanked them all and told them that, “Teamwork makes the dream work.”   Megan walked us out to the waiting room and told us that her mom had primary progressive Multiple Sclerosis. She told us that she was happy to help me today and I just couldn’t  get over how common a Multiple Sclerosis diagnosis is nowadays. It really makes me sad.

I worked with Luba  yesterday and  is she unsnapped my pants, she told me that, “Adam says hi!”  I was surprised at this statement and responded with, “Awww Adam!!! … Phil!!!”  She looked at me questioningly and I always forget that nobody really knew that I called Adam, “Phil.”   She had seen him at Kristen’s wedding and then she asked me why I call him “Phil.”

My mind automatically went back some for years ago when I worked with him and Jesse at the Kaiser machine  for the first time. For some reason after this session, I was at the front desk talking with Dusty and Jesse.   Adam sat in the chair next to me and I asked him his name.   He kind of smiled at me and slightly shook his head. I thought I heard Jesse call him Phil when we were working at the Kaiser machine so I told him that I will call him “Phil.”   He laughed and told me his name was Adam. I think that may have been the day that Dusty, Dan, Jesse, and Adam named me “Daisy.”  Silly boys!

Before we started working, Luba talked with me and my mom about possibly using a slide board to help me transfer  and then she started working on my knee. After  working it a bit, see attached the belt to my ankle and put me in traction for a while. I didn’t feel really good and I couldn’t figure out why.   Maybe it was the weather, (it was a little bit rain-y).

She told me to lift my left leg up after she put my knee and one of the Styrofoam tubes. I swear my leg felt like it weighed 500 pounds!   I tried a number of times and it was not budging! Yep. Just what I thought, 500 pounds!  She thought for a moment and since my leg was not moving, she began pressing her fingers  down my shin and a little bit on my quad. I got movement right after this! She told me that it was reflexive  and watched how my leg moved.   She told me that it was my spinal cord sending the signals and not my brain so it was a ” spinal cord reflex loop.”

I had her repeat that phrase a few times and told her that it sounded very professional. She said she had to look up what it was really called; but it kind of stunk that my brain was not communicating with my leg to get it to move rather it was just my spinal cord.   The spinal cord is part of the central nervous system so I guess I’ll take it.  With MS, my central nervous system is all out of whack!

I looked up what the reflex was really cold and it is a reflex arc or knee-jerk reflex arc.

The Reflex Arc
Harvard University › mcb › outreach › R…
A motor neuron carries the message from the central nervous system to the effector. In a knee-jerk reflex arc the sensory neuron directly connects to the motor neuron in the spinal cord. This is called a simple reflex arc. from the spindle (receptor) to where it connects with the motor neuron in the spinal cord.

Wikipedia:

“The patellar reflex is a clinical and classic example of the monosynaptic reflex arc. There is no interneuron in the pathway leading to contraction of the quadriceps muscle. Instead the bipolar sensory neuron synapses directly on a motor neuron in the spinal cord.”

Whatever it’s called, I just want my brain to communicate with my leg muscles  like it used to rather than just my spine!  Looking up all of these technical terms reminded me of looking up “proprioceptor” at Adam’s suggestion and taking that quiz which I failed.

I told Brad all about my appointment with Dr. Frush when I got to ATI.   I told him about my upcoming ultrasound and about the smart words they kept throwing around. Brad said that we would not do the stands until after my ultrasound just to be on the safe side and I was kind of glad because my knee hurt.

It’s a different kind of “hurt” than it was before my surgery. Well, I guess it’s the same “hurt” but in a different place. I still awaken in pain this morning but it was on the inside of my knee not on the outside or the middle.   It frustrates me that almost a year later I am still dealing with pain and still have to take pain medication for it because it’s that unbearable! I never take pain medication! But I do now!

Brad rubbed my knee out really good, concentrating on the inside where it hurt. As Larry was hooking me up for ice and stim., he talked with Nicole who was at the table next to me working on another client. They were talking about tomorrow being Deeds’ last day.

I was shocked and saddened by this news!  I worked with Deeds probably my second time at Barwis. Even though I did not work with him, he was always there being funny! It’s crazy how much things  have changed at Barwis since I  have not been there! Mike Morfitt is gone and now Deeds.   I am completely heartbroken!

My knee continued to pop out all weekend. It popped out about five or six times. Each time, it hurt and made me  extremely nervous.   I called Dr. Frush’s office Monday morning and talked with Kristen (his assistant) about it. My return appointment to see Dr. Frush was on September 18th so she moved it up to August 31st. She said once Dr. Frush puts his “magic hands” on me, he will know what is going on.   I explained to her that I was really freaked out and thought that I needed another surgery.

She told me that it was up to me whether I would go to physical therapy or not because I knew my body best. I decided NOT to go to physical therapy because my knee hurt so badly!   I called Brad at ATI to cancel my Monday and Wednesday appointments. I told him that I would go see Dr. Frush Thursday morning and maybe I would be to ATI in the afternoon.

Once I was waiting in Dr. Frush’s office, his intern, Dr. Iman came in.  I explained to him that I was freaked out about needing another surgery and told him where it hurt.   The pain was on the inside of my knee. I felt it had something to do with my MCL which was part of my original  injury almost one year ago.

Every spot he pressed on my knee hurt. He said he did not think I needed surgery but would wait until Dr. Frush came in to examine me.  Dr. Frush came in and examined my knee by pressing all the places that Dr. Iman had.  They started throwing around words like bursa, tendonitis, hamstring tendonitis, and Dr. Frush told me that I needed an ultrasound to be done.   He thought this involved my MCL. He told me a specific doctor to get to give me my ultrasound because he would do a good job.

The earliest I could see this doctor on September 6th.   Dr. Frush did not believe that I needed surgery again but he said he would know after my ultrasound. He said that we could probably discuss my ultrasound over the phone.

As my mom  helped re-snap my pants, I thought about how easily they threw around the word “bursa.”  I had never heard that word before today.   I  thought about the ease with which they threw around really smart sounding words like “bursa” and was a bit  blown away.

Larry was done working for the day so it was just me and Luba. We were not going to do the stands today. That really made me feel good because the day before, my knee popped out of its socket.  It popped out like it did so many times just before my surgery. This hurt and really scared me! It scared me because it made me feel  like I needed another surgery because it hurt so badly! I totally can attest to the fact that recovery from knee surgery is very difficult!   I never want to do it again!

I told Luba about my knee popping out and how much it scared me.  It made me feel better that I wasn’t going to stand so instead, Luba  rubbed my knee and I did my right leg lifts. I could only left a little bit and then my leg pooped out and Luba had to lift it the rest of the way.  I asked Luba why it was doing this, and she told me it was, ” weakness.”

I thought about that as I was hooked up for ice and stim.  I didn’t like hearing it, but I knew it was true. It frustrates me that  my leg was still weak but I am working so hard to get it straight the back! It stinks that this “weakness” persists!

Brad was on vacation so I worked with Luba. We did all of my normal PNFs and we weren’t sure if we are going to do the stands but Larry agreed to do it. Brad stands in front of me and Larry is behind me so Luba wasn’t sure if she was strong enough  to pull it off.   Larry assured her that we could do it so Luba put the belt on. Rather than being around my rib cage, she put it around my waist.

Luba pulled one of the roll-y chairs up to me and had a seat. I explained my “four downs” to her and she set my feet and I begin them.   I was surprised at how strong they were and it made me happy. We made jokes about the “Lord of the light” helping me to stand because I had just started  watching Game of Thrones and I was only on the second season, five episodes in.

All four of my downs were strong and Larry said that they were the best he has seen so far! This really made me feel good! It made it seem so promising that I was close to being  back to Barwis soon.  once my stands were finished, I laid back down on the table and got hooked up with ice and stim.   I laid back and close my eyes feeling pretty good because my stands were strong!  As I laid back,  Luba let me know that my stands were so strong because we had “Girl Power!”  And this made me smile even more!

I got to ATI a little bit early and Mira told me that I had paperwork to fill out. Brad has told me that every 10 visits, a client is required to fill out progress monitoring forms.   Brad and Larry both told me they do not like the forms; no one does.    I don’t like them so much either.   I have filled them out three times since my surgery.

For me, I dislike these forms so much because they highlight my physical limitations. They ask questions that I wouldn’t be able to do even if I didn’t have knee surgery.   Things like walking upstairs and  carrying heavy things.  I can’t do either of those anymore  even before surgery.   I can’t even fill these questionnaires out on my own. My mom has to ask me the questions and she fills them in because my hand-eye coordination is not good enough to fill in the bubbles.

Brad told me during my appointment time that clients who have had strokes or some kind of neurological problem do not have to fill the form out. Because I am being seen for my knee,  I have to fill them out.   Neurologically, I am not able  to complete any of the actions that answering these questions have to do with. Because I had knee surgery, I have to.   I told Brad that the forms are completely depressing!

I did my leg lifts and pushed my leg in and out. I did my stands but they were not that impressive.   It was the forms that completely depressed me! I went through the motions but I think because Brad is such a good therapist that eventually I will get  stronger and back to Barwis.