So, I had my appointment with Dr. Frush yesterday. Last Friday, I had a rough week. My knee hurt really badly as I waited for my ride. Earlier in the day, as I was icing my knee, I spoke with Mrs. Howard. I told her that if ever there was a day that I would cry in front of students that was the day. As I sat in the Teacher’s lounge after school by myself, I put my sunglasses on, played a Jerry Butler song (twice) that reminds me of my dad and I cried.
As I got into my car, I wondered how I was going to continue on with all of this pain. Feeling this way on a Friday evening after a long week of work is different than hearing what I had been thinking on Friday on Monday morning from my orthopedist. He asked me about my pain and poked my knee a bit. Everywhere he poked, it still hurt!
He told me that there were 3 options. One was just to wait and see how my knee progresses regarding pain. Two was to continue with physical therapy (which I told him was great when I am there but when I leave, my knee goes right back to being in pain). I likened it to putting a Band-Aid on open heart surgery). He listened and then told me about option #3.
Option three was putting a scope into my knee and either trimming or repairing my meniscus because it was torn. For the past six months, I swore I needed surgery but actually hearing that I did was like getting punched in the stomach! I was quiet and willed myself not to cry. I slowly nodded and agreed to having surgery.
Right after my nod, he told me that I was done working for the school year and that recovery time would take 8 to 12 weeks with just a trim and upwards of four months if a repair was necessary. He wouldn’t know until he got a look inside my knee.
Recovering from knee surgery is the most pain I have been in in my life! It hurts more than having a kid! (At least my experience of childbirth and having had a C-section). Dr. Frush told me that he did not know the pain of childbirth personally but he assured me that this surgery would be less painful than my ACL reconstruction surgery. I didn’t have MS when I tore my ACL. Having MS changes everything!
He told me that he thought of pushing for the surgery and my last appointment. He says that he has been pushing me pretty far and now I am pushing back which is good! I told him that being in pain for six months and six days was my limit and now I am at six months and one week so I want this pain to go away!
I was still in shock as my Mom pushed me to the waiting room where we would wait for Donna to make the appointment for my surgery. We sat next to the nurse case manager just as she was called back. I put my sunglasses on and told my Mom that I wasn’t going to cry in front of her. She came back and sat with us and told us that Worker’s Comp. was not going to pay for the surgery.
Punched in the stomach again! I was confused and a bit overwhelmed anyway. She told me to call her and she would know more specifics regarding payment for surgery.
She left and we waited to be called back to make my surgical appointment. I kept my sunglasses on and wiped my eyes because I had begun to cry. I was shocked that I was crying because I knew it was coming but hearing it was something different.
My surgery is scheduled for May 1st. I found out I was pregnant with Sean on May 1st. I got my bachelor’s degree on May 1st. Jesse’s (my first trainer at Barwis) birthday is May 1st so I liked the date. I miss Barwis more than I can say! Dr. Frush told me not to return until my knee did not hurt so I have not been there since October 20th. Over six months. This feeling is not a punch in my stomach but rather a hollow feeling in my chest. She gave me a bunch of paperwork that I have yet to read…