Month: May 2016

Sean was Confirmed Tuesday evening so I was not able to go to Barwis.  I feel like I am doing pretty well at Barwis and I love my son more than anything and appreciate him being raised in the faith.  This was where I was on Tuesday instead of at Barwis.

It was a nice ceremony and my Mom was his sponsor.  His Confirmation name was “Juan Diego.”  The bishop gave them a hug once they were Confirmed with the oil.  I just got a handshake.  Sean told me that he was supposed to just get a handshake too but the bishop decided to hug everyone.  We had just got to the door to the reception when my Mom told both of us that she got a slap in the face when she was confirmed.  That statement ended our conversation because neither Sean nor I knew how to respond to that and we were at the reception.

So at Barwis on Thursday I recounted events from the Confirmation to Nick because he went to DC for grade school and his mom is still one of the lunch ladies.  As he stretched my legs to loosen them up, he paid attention to my ankles and my feet.  My legs weren’t SUPER tight even though I hadn’t been there on Tuesday.  As he stretched my legs out when I was on the black table, he continued to focus on my form.  He made sure my feet were set correctly when we started PNFs.  He did this by putting his hand on the bottom of my foot.  I find it mildly amusing to know that his bare hands are as big as my feet.

I DO have pretty small feet. Size 4.  Mike Morfitt has already commented on that.  I think this fact may have made it easier for Nick to position my feet correctly.  It felt good that he paid attention to such a small detail.  It’s really NOT a small detail for me.  He wants my feet to know the correct position as it translates to walking and maybe not being here may have let my feet become a bit supinated.  NIck fixed that be readjusting my feet with every PNF we did.

Nick worked on my legs as I sat in my chair.  My legs have gotten a lot looser since I’ve been back to Barwis regularly.  This time, Nick chose to focus on my feet.  He took my shoe off and worked my ankles and the bottom of my foot.  He looked like he was thinking hard about something and grabbed a pen.  He warned me that, “It might hurt a little” but I was game.  He took the pen (it was closed) and dragged it long ways across the bottom of my foot.It didn’t hurt TOO bad, just a little.  Immediately, my leg jerked up.

Well, I guess not really because ANY feeling I can FEEL in my legs or feet is just WONDERFUL! My bathroom floor has consistently been cold just after I started coming to Barwis.  That isn’t annoying to me as it is for so many people; rather, it is reassuring because I am slowly getting feeling back in my feet.  Nick stopped using the pen and used his thumbnail instead.  My leg continued to jerk upward with each drag of his thumbnail.  He did this for both feet and then told me to pull my leg up actively each time he began dragging his thumbnail.

It felt really good that my leg muscles were reacting and reacting to my conscious thought as well.  I got on the black table and Nick had me lay on my side with my legs straight.  He pulled my top leg forward and had me pull it backward.  After moving my hips along with the thumb drag and pulling my leg back on Nick’s signal, I really felt I was actively beginning to control my leg muscles and actively working toward walking again.  This as really nice and it didn’t “hurt”at all.

Nick loosened up my legs as I sat in my chair enough so I could stand up so I could help Nick help me transfer to the black table.  My legs loosened up enough for me to bend my knees pretty quickly.  I say “quickly” in comparison to my legs before I returned to Barwis regularly NOT in comparison to an able-bodied person.  I’ve stopped comparing myself to able-bodied people because I haven’t been one in SO LONG.  The memories of being able-bodied are pretty hazy but in my dreams; they aren’t hazy at all.  I am able-bodied in 100% of my dreams.

I’m not trying to be a “Debbie Downer” but want to let you (the reader) know that when I say “quickly” it’s “quick” for me even though I am aware that it’s really not that “quick” by most people’s standards.  Nick had me lay on my back and he stretched my left leg up.  He told me to “push” and as I did, he stopped me part of the way down and lifted my leg back up and told me to do it again.  He said we would do “1/4 pushes.”  I don’t know how many of these I did but we did them in quick succession.  I understood that he wanted quick activation instead of the slower ones I have when I push my leg all the way down.

We did these for both of my legs.  We did them quickly!  It felt good because nowadays, I NEVER do anything quickly.  It was nice to immediately get activation in my legs and to keep that activation up.  I really dug these “1/4 pushes!”  They make me feel productive.  The “quickness” makes me feel that connections between my brain and lower body are being reconnected and it feels like walking IS a possibility.