4.12.16 1/4 Pushes OR Quickly

Nick loosened up my legs as I sat in my chair enough so I could stand up so I could help Nick help me transfer to the black table.  My legs loosened up enough for me to bend my knees pretty quickly.  I say “quickly” in comparison to my legs before I returned to Barwis regularly NOT in comparison to an able-bodied person.  I’ve stopped comparing myself to able-bodied people because I haven’t been one in SO LONG.  The memories of being able-bodied are pretty hazy but in my dreams; they aren’t hazy at all.  I am able-bodied in 100% of my dreams.

I’m not trying to be a “Debbie Downer” but want to let you (the reader) know that when I say “quickly” it’s “quick” for me even though I am aware that it’s really not that “quick” by most people’s standards.  Nick had me lay on my back and he stretched my left leg up.  He told me to “push” and as I did, he stopped me part of the way down and lifted my leg back up and told me to do it again.  He said we would do “1/4 pushes.”  I don’t know how many of these I did but we did them in quick succession.  I understood that he wanted quick activation instead of the slower ones I have when I push my leg all the way down.

We did these for both of my legs.  We did them quickly!  It felt good because nowadays, I NEVER do anything quickly.  It was nice to immediately get activation in my legs and to keep that activation up.  I really dug these “1/4 pushes!”  They make me feel productive.  The “quickness” makes me feel that connections between my brain and lower body are being reconnected and it feels like walking IS a possibility.