Month: April 2015

My chairtopper broke on Saturday so my wheelchair was stowed in my trunk. I called when I got to Barwis and Deeds came out to get it from my trunk and I could transfer on my own so I told him that was all I needed so he went back inside. Then Dan came out while I was transferring and he pushed me inside.  My right knee has been hurting and my right hip felt weird over the long weekend.  I guess it makes a difference when I don’t come to Barwis  for a long weekend.

Matt was on the blue table so Mike put me on the white table. Adam and I used to work on the white table all the time. It was weird though, it felt foreign. I didn’t like it. I guess I have been so used to using the blue table. When I sit on the blue table, my feet can touch the ground. My feet don’t touch the ground on the white table, just my toes.  Mike kneaded my calves and knuckled my thighs and I told him about my right knee hurting.  He had me do five knee raises with my left leg.  I did those pretty well but I could not lift my right knee with just my toes touching the floor to start.   So this time, my legs weren’t even. I guess my right leg was really my “poop leg.”

Mike had me lay on my stomach which was weird because the white table is skinnier than the blue table so he spotted me so I didn’t fall off the table as I flipped over.  He stretched my hips so I was finally able to lay flat on the table.  He bent my feet backward to get the stretch for my quads. There is a mirror on the wall beside the white table so I could see just how far he was bending my legs back.  It was pretty far. Almost touching my butt. It felt good to see because I really HAVE made progress. Mike put me in my car and he still kind of stinks at getting my feet in.  Progress is slow and being on the white table feels weird now.

The doors to Barwis were open when I pulled up so Dan was outside and he pushed me inside after I got out of my car on my own. I pushed myself to the chairs and waited for Mike to come get me when it was my time. I pulled up my pant leg and showed Megan my sock. It was “Wacky Sock Wednesday” and I liked my socks.

They had a Phoenix on each of them.   I sat there with my eyes closed while I waited because I was a bit tired. Mike would look over and periodically tell me to, “Wake up, Rios!”  I would open my eyes and tell him that I wasn’t sleeping and then close them again until it was my time.

Mike got me and pushed me to the blue table. He put me on it and I told him that I felt tight. He kneaded my calves and knuckled my thighs and I watched Megan work with Garrett.  He was standing and taking steps with Megan. Megan’s hands were on his hips and his hands were on her shoulders. He is a good six or 8 inches taller than her and it looked a bit silly. Mike and I cracked jokes about them being at a dance and we all laughed. I watched Garrett move and I said, “I want to walk.” I didn’t say it to Mike but it just slipped out of my mouth unconsciously. Mike looked at me and asked if I wanted to walk just as Megan and Garrett were. I reluctantly declined because I knew I wasn’t feeling strong enough.

It saddened me that I declined but I did not want to be disappointed and based on how I felt, I knew trying to walk would end up being a disappointment to me… For now.  I lifted my knees 7 times each and laid back as Mike stretched my legs out to loosen them up.  It feels nice when Mike stretches my legs out especially when they feel as tight as they did on Wednesday.  I look forward to the day when I can take steps easily. In the meantime, I just have to be patient. I really stink at this patience thing just like Mike stinks at putting me into the car.  But then again, one day, (hopefully soon) he won’t have to.

Megan pulled me in to Barwis.  Mike came and got me when it was my time.  He pushed me to the blue table and put me on it.  After coming to Barwis for almost 21 months, my guys know when they can push it and when they have to take it easy on me.  Jesse knew it, Phil knew it, and now Mike knows it.  Monday was one of those days.  What I especially like about these days, is that they still are productive.  I remember Phil telling me that EVERY day I come to Barwis that it is productive.  I remember not being able to see it when he told me this some time ago but I see it now.

There will be days when I feel miserable but I’ve known that I just have to get through it.  Every day isn’t as HORRIBLE but there are days that are.  When I come to Barwis, I know I will sleep well that night.  I am NOT walking yet and that doesn’t seem to frustrate me as much as it used to.  I know it my soul that it WILL happen eventually and I am working tirelessly to make it so.  At times my trainers have to work harder than I do (It’s difficult to stretch me out!) but they see walking in my future too and they let me know when I ask (which is often).

I’ve learned, or I AM learning to focus on the good things regardless of how small they seemingly may be.  It’s the simple pleasures, man.  I lifted my knees up as I sat on the edge of the blue table 10 times each (AFTER Mike pinched my knees OF COURSE!!!) Instead of being discouraged, I focused on the fact that I am progressing and I am not going to be upset that it is SO SLOW but appreciated that in addition to getting movement in my legs, I got a GREAT stretch and a good night’s sleep even though Mike STILL kind of stinks at getting me smoothly into my car.  So, I can bask in the simple pleasures… at least for now.