Month: May 2014

Eric had to come get me out of my car yesterday.  I couldn’t do it alone.  With the long, harsh winter we had, I forgot – well, I didn’t forget but I didn’t remember how debilitating the heat is so Eric helped me out.  Embarrassing.  When you just meet someone and they have to pick you up.  So, I get into Barwis and Phil stretched me at the Keiser machine.  He told me to stand but first WAS the worst here.  I told him about how much I don’t like NOT being able to control my body in the heat.  I WAS able to get up on my second attempt and completed one squat.  I completed 3 stands and I squat before Phil told me to head to the turf not to the mat.

WHAT?!  Not only was Phil wearing his glasses yesterday (it was the first time that I saw him wear them) but I’m walking?!  On a Friday?!  CRAZY!  WEIRD.

I got set at the line and Eric came over to help because Lindsay wasn’t there.  Phil explained how we do this to Eric and then said in a goofy voice making fun of me, “Let’s do this thing!”  I got nothing.  On my second attempt, I got set and then I said, “Let’s do this thing!”  I stood and I felt sturdy and then said, “C’mon boys!”  I got 6 yards on that drive.  I didn’t get anything further for my 3rd and 4th downs.  Before my 3rd down, Phil stretched me out some more.  I told him that I was glistening and told Phil that he was starting to glisten as well.  I looked at Eric and told him that “glisten” is code word for “sweating.”  He laughed.

After my walking attempts, we still had time left over so Phil met me at the Keiser machine for more standing and squatting attempts.  I told Phil about my forearms “killing” me.  I put my car in park at stop lights now because the pressure I exert on them by engaging the brakes with my hand controls hurts too much.  Phil squeezed my left forearm and had me open and close my fist as he moved his hand to different muscles I guess and kind of squeezed and rubbed my forearm.  Then he grabbed my right forearm and did the same thing.  I decided that his hands were GARGANTUAN compared to my forearms and it kind of made me feel like a little kid.  He used his index and middle finger to kind of “walk” up my forearm.  That motion made me laugh like it was two legs so I did the same to Phil’s arm (adding a sound effect of course!). The effect was a little bit different having my little hand walk up his GARGANTUAN arm with a quick, “Boop! Boop! Boop!”  I think I did it twice.  Phil laughed and told me, “You have issues.”  My forearms felt a little better after this and I was able to complete 4 more stands and 1 more squat.  I asked Phil if we will always have a “Walking Friday” when my “Walking Wednesday” is a shut-out like the last one was.  He said, “Maybe.”

I got a total of 7 stands , 2 squats, and 6 yards on this “crazy, weird” “Walking Friday” #1.  Eric helped me to my car that I got into mostly by myself.  He had to help me with my feet.  I’m still waiting for my “a lot” but am racking up the “little by little”s in the meantime.

TOTAL YARDAGE = 347 and 2 steps.

This morning, I thought of Mr. Bill.  Mr. Bill was my swim coach.  I used to swim competitively in the summers until I was 13.  Mr. Bill coaches swimming at the high school that is across the street from my house.  My nephew swims for another Dearborn high school so my brother often sees Mr. Bill at swim meets.  I think about him often; he was very influential in my young, formative years (I was like 5 when I learned to swim).  I learned to swim from the Barracudas (the swim club’s name).  It was the end of the season (so it was fall) and he approached me and my Mom.   I was 9.  He wanted me to get involved with a year-round swim club in Dearborn.  He had said that he talked about me to the coach of the year-round club and they had arranged a try-out for me.  It was in the evening in an outdoor pool in Dearborn.  I didn’t end up joining the club.  I was the youngest of 5 (all of my brothers were still in the house then) and my Mom was a homemaker; it didn’t workout for my family financially.

I thought about Mr. Bill this morning because at the try-out, I had my own lane.  It was an end lane.  Regular practice was going on and I would just swim what this coach told me to swim.  I was in the pool and couldn’t hear this (my Mom told me about it afterward) but Mr. Bill was at the try-out too.  I don’t remember what the coach had me swim but Mr. Bill said to my Mother as I was swimming, “Look at her.  She’d swim all day if I told her to.  She’s got endurance.”  It’s 14 years later and I still remember that he said this about me.  I thought about him saying this after what happened yesterday at Barwis.

So before Phil stretched me out, I repaid the stick of gum that I borrowed from him because I found my pack.  I was tired and I thought that the” reset button” may take a bit to warm up.  Phil stretched me out and told me to stand.  First WAS the worst this time but I got up on my second try.  I even did 5 squats ALL ending with a NICE *BINK.*  He smiled and told me to head over to the turf.  I told him that I was excited as I spun around and rolled down the ramp (hands up with a “Woo!” OF COURSE!)

I get set at the line and Lindsay comes over.  Let’s do this thing!  1st down = nothing.  2nd down = nothing.  Phil stretched me some more before my 3rd down which STILL ended up giving me nothing.  Before my 4th down, Phil said that he might give me another down.  I shook my head and pointed over to the free weights.  “The punting team is already coming out.  The kicker has been warming up.”  I didn’t get anything for my 4th down either.  Phil told me to head back to the bar.  Phil could tell that i was BEYOND disappointed but I ended up completing 2 more stands.  He put his fist out and we bumped and then he started rubbing his fist against mine and said, “grinder!”  I laughed and wondered how many cheesy things he can come up with for fist bumps.

Phil took me out to my car with Nick to show Nick how to do it when Phil has a client and I am TOO tired to do it alone.  I ALMOST got in to my car by myself but Phil had to reset me by taking me out and then putting me back in.  He had me up to his full height and I was reminded why I am not 6’5!  It’s a liitle SCARY up there!  I sat in my car a bit dejected.  I called my Mom because Sean was with her and I began to cry.  I sat in the car for a LONG time before driving home.  So the “reset button” DOES take some time to warm up.  I left my crutches at Barwis, Phil says we’ll try again on Friday.  I told him, “A “Walking Friday”?  That’s CRAZY!” But maybe the “reset button” will be warmed up properly and my butt will stop hurting AS much!  Either way, I’m continuing on my road to walking.  It STINKS that I have setbacks like yesterday; but I can take it because I STILL have the endurance that Mr. Bill spoke of.   I only got 3 stands and 5 squats yesterday but “Little by little…”

TOTAL YARDAGE = STILL 341 yards and 2 steps.

I called Dusty when I got to Barwis.  I needed help.  I told him that when 5 o’clock comes, to send Adam out.  He asked if I was here (at Barwis) and I told him that I was.  I didn’t mind waiting.  Nick (the new intern) came out to get me.  I told him my name and then told him that I have MS and then added, but “it feels like MS has me today.”  I told him that I didn’t know how he could help me so he just picked me up like Phil does and put me into my chair.  I was MOST grateful and only a little bit embarrassed.

Phil motioned me over to the Keiser machine and just before I got there, a man carrying a camera smiled at me and said, “You must be Jen.”  I smiled back and asked him jokingly how he knew kind of looking around and pointing to my chair.  He told me that he has his ways and we both laughed.  He then told me that the other “First Steppers” come at 10 or 12 o’clock.  I’m the only one who comes now.  I smiled again and told him that I still work.  He told me that he was there to photograph me and not to mind him.

Phil stretched me out and I told him that I wasn’t feeling very well.  Transferring was difficult at work and Nick had to get me into the Center.  He told me to stand and that was easier said than done!  I sat in my chair again and told him that it was okay because, “first is the worst.”  I was able to stand and I completed two squats before I had to sit.  I attempted to stand and squat many times but it was SO difficult!

I told Phil that I began to “glisten” (that’s my way of saying that I am sweating).  He replied, “good.”  Normally, it IS a good thing but with the gentle breeze that was blowing, (the doors were rolled open) I would be chilled to the bone.  Standing and squatting remained being EXTREMELY difficult and I told Phil that my hands had been hurting throughout the day.  I ended up completing 5 squats and a few more stands than that.  It was a BAD day to have MS yesterday.  At least for me but…

Amanda Heckman‏ @aheckmannn

You have to fight through some bad days, to earn some of the best days in your life.

It wasn’t until I was home and my speech began slurring (MS stuff) that I decided to go to bed early.  I have since hit the “reset button” and am looking forward to a GREAT “Walking Wednesday.”

Because…

Motivation&Success‏ @MotSuccess

“The greater the difficulty, the more glory in surmounting it. Skillful pilots gain their reputation from storms and tempests.” — Epictetus

These quotes are quotes that I have “favorited” or “retweeted” or both.  I believe them.  I just have to wait for it.