Month: March 2014

I woke up yesterday morning and it was a fight with my legs! I tried dangling them over the side of my bed as Phil has told me to and it was quite difficult! I was REALLY slow getting ready for work and it was SO cold! I am SO tired of this weather! I tweeted about it.

My body STILL was hurting at work. I made it through the day and was glad that I was headed to Barwis.  I told Phil that this was round 3. Round 1 was getting ready for work. Round 2 was going to the bathroom at work. And now Phil was going to stretch me, so it was round 3 “Ding, Ding.” I thought of Jesse making the analogy of me having an “accident” every day. For this “accident,” I totaled my car, flipped it over, and broke all the windows in it as well. Man, it hurt!

Gradually, my legs started to loosen up. Phil patiently stretched me and then he told me to head to the Keiser machine and we would try some stands.  He set my feet and told me to stand. “First is the worst and second is the best.”. That saying held true for each one of my stands. It was a fight to stand and it was very tiring. But for a couple of my stands it felt really good! I stood for a long time and so Phil was happy with that and on my last stand I found the “sweet spot” and I could “stand for days.” Phil stretched me out a little bit more and pushed me over to the chairs where my coat was. I kept my legs up the entire time! When we went out to the car, I got into it all by myself. Mostly. Phil had to help me with my feet and I asked him why it was happening now?  Referring to my body hurting so badly.  He said that it might be weather shock considering it was 40 degrees when I left Barwis.  Let’s hope that when the weather improves, so will my body. We fist bumped (another normal one) my hands are very small compared to his and he said I did some good stands.

It kinda stinks that the fight began again when I woke up this morning…  COME ON SPRING!!!

 

My legs have been feeling better IN SPITE OF THIS HORRIBLE WEATHER!!!  i had to get my tire fixed (turns out I had 2 bent rims!  After Barwis, on my way home on Monday, I tried to avoid a large pothole and instead, I fell off of the world!  I took my car in on Tuesday (I didn’t notice low tire pressure until I got to work) they over-filled my tire and I took it back to Les Stanford on Wednesday morning.  They took me to work after I dropped my car off and picked me up).  I was late to Barwis because all of this.

Phil stretched me out at the Keiser machine and I did a few stands.  Standing was REALLY hard for me!  I thought that Phil saw the struggle on my face.  It was so difficult that I was letting go of ideas of it being a “Walking Wednesday” but then Phil pointed to the turf and told me to go that way.  I excitedly asked, “We’re walking?!”  He replied with a small smile, “We’re gonna try.”  That was good enough for me!  I was excited and was willing myself to walk over and over in my head.  Lindsay came over to help and I stood.  Phil was giving me directions on how I should have my body engaged as I took my steps.  I got 9 yards on my first drive.  I was SO excited to have gotten steps off!  My second drive (I only got 2 because I was late) I got 8 more!  I got a total of 17 yards yesterday!

TOTAL YARDAGE = 195 AND 2 STEPS

Phil took me out to my car and I got in ALL BY MYSELF!!!  We fist bumped.  Just normally, no “joysticks!”  This was the second time that we did this.   He said that I did a “good job” and that he was proud of my 17 yards.  Me too!!!

Now, I’ve told Phil that our photo opp is coming up and I think he wants to flake!  That will TOTALLY bum me out!!!  We have said before that it will have to be a selfie because Phil is my Barwis photographer.  He has to take it because his arms are longer than mine!  I told him that I’m going to put it on Twitter and we will trend #DaisyandPhil because that’s us!  He’s not really going for that though…

I posted this on 11.26.13.

Phil (I was working with him today) came over to sit as Brock and I were talking.  It was so COOL talking with Brock!!!  I needed that boost today.  I needed that reminder that it IS possible!  Bock told me he does back pedal at times (like I feel like I am right now!) but he said he comes back stronger.  After Phil called me, “chatty Cathy” I said my goodbye to Brock and went over to start working.  Phil could see that I was so star struck having seen Brock, he asked why I didn’t take a picture?  I told him that I didn’t have my phone so he calls Brock over said he would take the picture and send it to me.

I posted this on 11.27.13 about “Walking Wednesday” #8 back when I only had clocked 101 yards.

Phil took a picture of Jesse and me.  I look really tired because I was.  I told Jesse that I would send him a pic of my camo shirt when I get one. I promised to wear it every Wednesday like I do my socks.  I told Phil that our photo opp will come at 200 yards.

Maybe I can guilt him into taking the pic of us.  Next “Walking Wednesday” IS my birthday…

So yesterday, Phil asked me how I have been feeling as he was stretching me.  I was happy to report that despite the weather (AND I AM SICK OF THIS WEATHER!!!  iT’S KILLING ME!!!), my legs have been feeling the most normal that they have felt in since I can’t remember when.  I was excited to tell Phil this news but then I needed to add, “except in the morning.  I feel bad in the morning!”  He continued to stretch me out at the Keiser machine and then told me to head over to the table.  He moved the table away from the wall again so he could get on both sides.  He told me to dangle my feet off of my bed in the morning as I dangled my feet over the side of the table.  I told him that they don’t want to dangle in the morning and he told me “but they can” and pointed to my legs and feet.  I told him that they FEEL normal and he told me that they LOOK normal.

Driving home, I heard my “Sean and Phil” song TWICE!  It ended and I changed the radio station and heard it again.  I don’t know that yesterday was “the best day of my life,” but it’s coming!  “I feel it in my soul!”

This morning, I woke up and turned my first alarm off.  I didn’t want to get out from under my warm covers!  I turned the second on off and reluctantly threw my covers back.  Man, it was SO cold!!!  My legs were all curled up and it took a minute to get them untangled from each other and over the side of my bed.  My “poop” leg knew what to do and it just dangled there.  My left leg needed some coaxing to “just relax.”  It started to and then I had to get up because otherwise I would be SUPER late.  I guess tomorrow morning I just have to “suck it up” and get out from under the covers earlier.  As I was driving to work, my legs did begin to normalize as I began to thaw from going from the house to the car.  Even now, as I write this, they are normalizing and that’s exciting!

I woke up yesterday morning at like 2 o’clock and my legs were hurting so badly! I refused to get out of bed and sit in my chair (makes me feel better sometimes) because I still had some time left to sleep until I had to get up to for work. I was miserable from 2 o’clock on. I told Phil about it when I got to Barwis.  I told him that throughout the workday my legs started feeling better.

I didn’t have students yesterday so I just was getting work done that I needed to get done so it was quiet. He stretched my legs out and they started to feel even better.  My colleague at work asked me if the pain was a “good” pain or a “bad’ pain that I woke up with. I had to think about it. I wasn’t sure. My legs have never awakened me because of being in pain like that but maybe it was a good thing because I was feeling something. Phil told me maybe it was because it was SO cold! I am SO sick of this weather!

Then he stopped stretching me for a bit and my legs remained slightly spread apart and my feet were pointed straight ahead. I felt blood flowing through my legs and feet and I told Phil that my legs feel “normal.”

That “normal” feeling remained with me the entire time we were working. I was able to get into my car by myself.  Phil grabbed my fist after we fist bumped and yelled “joystick” but I was okay with that. The “normal” feeling in my legs continued. My Mom called and she asked me and Sean to meet her and my uncle at a restaurant. On my way home, I was hoping to get the tears out of me that I felt were SO close. They didn’t come. I pull up into my driveway and beep for Sean to come out. The “normal” feeling remained with me throughout dinner. I was in the restroom after dinner that the tears finally started to come.  I was overwhelmed that this “normal” feeling still continued. I wiped my face and got Sean and got in the car to drive home. And the “normal” feeling was STILL with me. My legs felt good!

Sean reclined his seat and said he was going to sleep for a while as we drove home. So then the tears came. I would like to say that they were “strong, silent tears.” But they weren’t. I could feel the sobs originating in my belly and rattling my chest. I stifled them because my son was sleeping next to me.  I have been working SO hard at Barwis that of course this day would eventually come. But I guess I was not ready for it. I debated if I was going to go to bed or not because I knew I would wake up not feeling this way and I wanted to keep the “normal” feeling as long as I could. I remember my Dad telling a story about guys in the Army being on leave and having to go back to Vietnam. They would get really, really, really drunk and some would pass out before leaving and would have to be loaded onto the plane to go back. When they woke up the next day, they were back in Vietnam. They would cry.

I don’t want to be like them. I decided to go to bed with the knowledge that I would wake up feeling badly again.  I woke up at 3:35 a.m. and my knees hurt a little bit. I rolled onto my stomach to make them stop hurting.  I had that “normal” feeling in my legs for 10 hours. Wow! Even now, as I sit at my table and write this, the “normal” feeling has begun to return to my legs and my feet are straight forward. I thought I would be ready for this. I thought I prepared myself for this. Apparently not. I suppose I will be a “sissy, cry-face baby” like I was last night.  But I’m okay with that.