The past few days have been rough for me. Not going to Barwis on Wednesday really hurt! The meeting I was supposed to have with my niece is rescheduled for next Wednesday so I won’t have a “Walking Wednesday” next week either. That fact kind of bums me out. I left work trying to get okay with it being a “low point” for me in terms of performance. I was trying to get okay with being “defeated.” I know that there are ups and downs with this progress and I am trying to get okay with that. I drove to Barwis not feeling very good. My legs have been getting tangled and it has been really hard to try to control that.
I get out of the car and I smell spring in the air. It’s really good that spring is finally going to be here; but, at the same time, it’s really bad that all of the snow is melting and causing SO much moisture to be in the air so my body REALLY, REALLY, REALLY hurts!!!
I get into Barwis and I see Katie walking! I found out later from her mother that she was in a car accident 2 years ago which left her paralyzed from the waist down. My eyes were glued to Katie as she walked. I still had my coat on but it was the most inspirational thing for me to see. I turned away to take my coat off and to compose myself a little bit because I felt tears coming. But then I took my coat off and had to turn right back around to watch her. She walked so far! I saw the way she was taking steps and I knew how she felt. It is so tiring and it is so difficult! As I am watching her, I covered my mouth with my left hand and tried to deflect tears coming out of my eyes with my right hand. But they were coming too fast and there were too many of them. When she was finished I turned around and bolted to the bathroom. I closed the door and thank God the music was really loud because I sobbed. After I composed myself I came out of the bathroom and that was when I talked to Katie’s mom. She told me about Katie’s Facebook page (Pray for Katie) and I told her I would visit it even though I don’t have Facebook.
As I went to the Keiser machine to get stretched, Phil called me a “crybaby.” I smacked his leg and asked if it was obvious that I was crying and he said it was. But I really wasn’t embarrassed that I cried in front of a gym full of guys lifting weights because that was really cool for me to see! I needed that!!!
Phil asked how I was feeling and I told him that I have been feeling terrible. He pointed to my feet and said, “Look at this, you say you’ve been feeling terrible but your legs look normal! That’s it! Just relax! Don’t be grumpy! Don’t be sad! Just relax!” Well, thanks for that Dr. Phil! I snapped my fingers, nodded, and said, “Oh yeah, because it’s that easy!”
Phil stretched me for a LONG time but I was determined to do SOMETHING. I made 6 attempts to stand but only 4 were successful. Phil took me out to my car, told me that I did a good job, wished me a good weekend, and put his fist out. My son had told me two different ways to counteract Phil’s “joystick” so I raised my hand and couldn’t think what he told me to do so I hesitated. In that hesitation, Phil just grabbed my hand and squeezed it into a fist and shook it and yelled “joystick” and shut my car door. Grrr!!! AGAIN!!! I HAVE to work on that!!!
When I got home, I visited Katie’s Facebook page and cried (OF COURSE)! I think I may have to join Facebook so I can like her posts.
Yes you need to join Facebook!! I checked out Katies page and it is very inspirational!