*I figured out what I dislike MORE than snow – SLUSH.
I woke up this morning to this thought. I’m definitely NOT giving up but Jesse is SO right when he says that it won’t be easy.
I went in to Barwis yesterday telling myself that it is okay if I get re-harnessed. Even though it’s really NOT. Phil had talked about the possibility of putting me back into a harness to do squats. He kind of asked what I thought and I told him of my conversation with Jesse about that. I told him to just TELL me; don’t ask. I know now that it is for the best so I can get the FULL range of motion but I can’t help feeling a little bit defeated because I want to be walking YESTERDAY and I see getting re-harnessed as a step backward.
But yesterday, we took an even FURTHER step back! Phil told me on Wednesday that he was going to talk to Mike about me and what he should do. He was going to get Mike’s take on ny legs “boing”ing (TOTALLY my word for it). So Phil tells me that he’s just going to give me a slow stretch today.
I laid on the table and asked Phil A MILLION questions. He didn’t get noticeably irritated with me and patiently, repeatedly answered my questions. He must have spelled “proprioreceptors” a million times for me and explained the role of the Golgi tendon just as many times. I know I said that I don’t like what’s going on with my right leg at least twice and asked “why?” a bunch more. I didn’t fully appreciate all that he said to me until I googled “proprioreceptors” like he told me to. I had to read the first 5 hits to fully understand all that he said to me. There was a mini-test at the bottom of one of the sites. I took it. I failed. It was only 5 questions! This stuff is hard! Bottom line: Phil knows what he’s doing!!!
He took me out to my car and I got in ALL BY MYSELF with him spotting me. I let him hear my new favorite song, “Everything Will Change” by Gavin DeGraw. He even waited to hear my verse (the one Gavin sings JUST for me!).
“Back when it used to hurt, took you a while just to find the worth
Losing, well, it sometimes burns, but you keep moving on
You’ve got to grow strong like you’re leading the nation
Got to make the best out of this situation
Get your hands up like it’s a celebration
And keep moving on”
We fist bump and I ask again if I’ll get harnessed on Monday as he’s walking back in to Barwis and he calls “Maybe. Probably.” over his shoulder for the millionth time.