Month: November 2013

So, I just thought about this last night.  My sense of smell is very acute now that I’m ALL NATURAL.  I eat organic (as much as I can), I use free and clear laundry detergent, mineral makeup, natural soaps, shampoo, deodorant (no, I DON’T smell like patchouli!) and body wash, and organic cleaners.  I am chemically sensitive so my sense of smell is a little bit sharper.

I also am a creature of habit.  I fall into routines and am a bit OCD about them.  I have a routine as I get into Barwis each day.  I just realized this last night as I was going to start working with Jesse.  I always put on my chapstick.  It’s Burt’s Bees Acai Berry (the one with the dark purple cap).  I got it at Target.  I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE it!!!

So, not only do I have a soundtrack to my life, I also attach a smell to different areas of my life.  Barwis not only smells like a turfed football field; it also smells like my Acai Berry chapstick.  So, just like the Green Lantern puts his ring on or Spider-Man puts on his mask or Superman tears open his shirt; I also have a Super Hero Routine that includes putting my chapstick on and then I get to work!

I remember I had kind of an “off” day working at Barwis and it wasn’t until the end of it that I look at Jesse and exclaim, “I didn’t put my chapstick on!”  That statement didn’t make any sense to him but it made COMPLETE sense to me!!!  Can Superman really save the day without his cape?!

I remember pulling up to the Barwis Methods Training Center and being extremely nervous and a little bit excited.  When we opened the door and I wheeled in, we heard music blaring and met a man named Dusty at the front desk.  There were framed jerseys from all different sports on the walls.  The center smelled like a turfed football field.  That smell is so familiar to me now.  It’s comforting.  The music is just as comforting.  Dusty told us that first day that the music was too loud and not always appropriate.

We make our way into the workout area.  I saw a bunch of people working out doing all sorts of different things.  I was the only person in a wheelchair.   I felt a little bit intimidated but am comforted by seeing Mike.  He was stretching someone out.  By this time, I felt like I knew him already because I had watched his TED talk so much and I spoke to him on the phone when I made my appointment.

He comes over and introduces himself to me, my Mom, and my son, Sean.  We make our way on to the turf and he kneels down.  He extends my legs feeling the muscles in my quadirceps.  He tells me that all four muscle groups in my legs are firing and that is good.  I smile not really knowing what that means but if  he thinks something is good, I take that as something promising.

We make our way over to the squat machine and Mike gets me into a harness and explains to me what we are going to do.  I heard him explain it so much in the TED talk video I knew what to expect.  Knowing what expect and actually experiencing  something are two COMPLETELY different things!  I get hooked up to the Keiser machine and then I am standing!  Tall!  My body does not hurt when doing this and it feels good!  Mike asks what I think and I reply, “I’m short.”  I have been sitting down so long, I’m used to seeing the world from a 4’1 viewpoint and now that I’m standing, the view from 5’0 (my height when I’m standing) doesn’t seem all that different.  It’s a bit anticlimactic.  We start doing squats.  Mike is holding my knees encouraging me the whole time with a “C’mon!” and things like that.

I don’t remember how many reps I did but I DO remember that he eventually unhooked the hooks that were attaching me to the air machine that was helping me and he told a man named Jesse to hold my hands.  I was SHOCKED!  You mean I’m going to do squats ALL BY MYSELF?!  I told Jesse in a barely audible voice, mostly mouthed for him to “not let me go!” with my eyes as wide as saucers.  He nodded and laughed a bit in understanding and told me that he wouldn’t.  Jesse came around to face me and put his hands over my hands on the bar and Mike stood behind me.  I proceeded to squat with both of them encouraging me.  I don’t remember how many we did but enough until Mike was satisfied.  He told me that we were going to work on my hamstrings next.  He left to get the equipment ready.

As I am sitting in my chair watching them prep the equipment Larry Foote walks over and introduces himself to my son and me.  He had a towel in his hands and I had my hands on my wheels.  I told him that “I know, [who he is] we see him on TV.”  He told me that he looks bigger on TV which I thought was true.  I told him, “I was thinking it!  I wasn’t going to say it but I was thinking it.”  He laughed and told me that he gets bigger closer to the season.  It was summer and training camps weren’t set to start until the end of the month.  He asked if I was a Steelers fan and I shook my head and told him that “I’m from Detroit. I’m a Lions fan and a post-season Packers fan.”  I wondered where I was getting all of this nerve from to tell the middle linebacker from the Steelers that I am not fan.  But, the new found nerve continued.  I told him that I saw the Super Bowl (a few years ago vs. the Packers).  “You guys didn’t bring it!”  He agreed and blamed the offense.  I told him “I know.  I saw it.”  I told him that if they were playing the Lions, I’d watch.  He told me that they play them in Pittsburg this year and that if I want tickets to tell Mike.  It’s only a 4 hour drive from here to there.  Then he goes back to work and Mike comes back.

Mike leans over and picks me up!  I know that no one has done this to me EVER at this point in my life.  He carries me over to the blocks in front of the hamstring machine.  He sets me down there and tells me what we are going to do.  I brace myself and do what he tells me to do.  It is difficult.  I summon my inner warrior and “grab my guts” as my Dad used to say.  I’m surprised that these grunts are coming out of my mouth but I don’t try to stifle them.  When I am finished, Larry Foote walks over and rubs my back and extends his fist.  I look at it and say that my hands are holding me up.  I felt like I was going to fall over if I let go but I couldn’t leave Larry Foote hanging!  I extend my right fist and we fist bump.

Then Mike lays me on the turf and he stretches me out for a while.  It’s been a tough day.  I’m tired.  It was like 11:30 when we left.  It was 9 when we got there.  I leave feeling good.  I see this as the beginning of my road to actively walking even though I have done many things thus far to ready myself for this point.  I leave feeling that Mike is confident that he can help me.  I’m not too far gone or beyond hope and that feels good.

I had been seeing an MRT (Muscle Release Technique) therapist named Parker Whittaker at Whittaker Therapy in Plymouth, Michigan every Monday for a little over two years when he began telling me about Mike Barwis and the work he does.   It was about six months after that, (in the winter) that Parker told me that I was going to see Mike in the summer  (I am a teacher and summer is my “down-time”).

I began watching Mike’s TED talk.  I must have watched it at least 30 times and cried each and every time!   Part of me did not believe that he could help me.  I felt that I was too far gone to help.  I had been in a chair for 8 years!  It was too late.  I was beyond hope.  I thought it was dangerous to hope for life outside this chair.  In retrospect, I see it differently but back then I was afraid to think of life taller than 4’1.  (My wheelchair tech, Ty, measured me and that is how tall I am sitting down).  Parker told me that he “didn’t think I was meant to live life in [my] chair but I wasn’t meant to forget it.”

Parker ALWAYS said the MOST profound things to me!!!

My first Chiropractor/Naturopathic doctor, Dr. Tent at Diverse Health Services in Northville, referred me to Parker Whittaker an MRT (Muscle Release Technique) therapist to help with the spasticity in my legs.   He gave me his card and I called. I spoke with a very nice woman named Lori who I would later find out was his wife.  I was a bit nervous when I got to his office.  My Mom came with me (she always comes with me when I see a new doctor for moral support).

His office was warm and smelled clean.  It felt homey.  It would feel like home to me for the next 3 and a half years.  When we got into his room, Norah Jones was playing on his iPod dock and I commented that I liked the song.  Parker and I had great conversations while I was getting worked on.  I told him that I’ve never liked Mondays but now that I no longer see him, I miss the Mondays I spent with him, getting worked on and having great convo.

I remember when he worked on my forearms.  This was the moment when I really believed that this was the place I needed to be.  My forearms were hurting me like knives were being run up and down them whenever I moved them. This situation was especially terrible for me because I use my hands so much!  I was still driving with my feet then but I used my hands and forearms with every turn of my wheels, with every “step I took” if you will.  I remember driving to work crying and driving with the edge of my palms on the wheel because it hurt so much!

My Mom wheeled me into his room and I held up my forearms up to him and asked “Et tu Brute?!” with tears in my eyes. I am a literary person.  I taught English for 5 years before getting my Master’s degree in education with a Reading Specialist endorsement.  That reference seemed so fitting to me.  Just as Julius Caesar discovers that his friend Brutus has also betrayed him after he has been mortally stabbed; I too was experiencing insult added to injury with having trouble using my hands after the use of my legs had been taken away from me.  It was EXTREME insult added to injury!

It hurt. Both physically and metaphorically.  Parker knew immediately why my forearms were hurting me so much and what to do.  He began working on me and that was the last day my forearms have hurt like that.  That was about 2 years ago now. I take to heart everything that Parker says to me.  If he says I need to see Mike; I will.  He knew that as a teacher and single mother that I do not have an infinite supply of money so he released me.  I think of him often and miss him, his convo, and his family terribly.