10.27.14 An Explanation

I was able to go to Barwis at my normal time because my normal Monday after school “Move It Monday” workout was canceled.  My school has experienced the tragic death of one of our students.  I was a bit early to Barwis and I sat in my chair with my eyes closed.  I was SO exhausted!!!  The staff had a VERY early meeting and it was incredibly difficult for me to keep it together amid all of these middle school students who may be experiencing death for the first time and how they did not know how to handle all the emotions that accompany it.  When it was my time, Phil asked how I was.  I told him that I was exhausted!  He told me that m y legs were really tight (no wonder, right?).  He stretched me at the Keiser machine.  “Staying Alive” came on and Connor busted into the gym struting it exaggeratedly like the BeeGees and singing just like them.  He circled the Keiser machine like 4 or 5 times singing the whole while.  I HAD to laugh!  I was surprised that he knew all the words!  I was grateful for that laugh.

Just after that, Phil had me attempt to stand.  I tried 4 or 5 times and was unable to stand to a *BINK.*  Phil had me go over to the white table.  Jerome sat next to me and talked with Phil as he stretched my legs out.  He stretched me until my time was up.  I lost the screw to the left armrest on my wheelchair over the weekend so the armrest keeps on moving.  Phil took me out to my car and told me to get in.  I told him that, “I don’t want to try.”  He was shocked by my response so I knew I needed an explanation.  “My wheelchair’s broken.”  I said to which he responded , “Oh yeah.”

He put me in the car and gave ANOTHER version of the “bends.”  I don’t know that  I lOVED this version (he was kind of yelling) but it made me laugh regardless.  He grabbed my fist and shook it because I was too tired to pull my hand away.  I drove home feeling even MORE exhausted and not necessarily as loose as I normally do.  Well, no wonder, right?  I went over the events of the day in my head and was saddened for all of my kids.  I tried to relax but could feel my legs starting to tense a bit.  I stopped resisting and began to cry.